Well i have no choice. I cant live like this no more. Again today i spend 15 hours on the bathroom floor with pure hell. So either it is suicide or a medication. Its that simple. I will think about sheilas suggestion. its unfortunate that no-one gave their opinion on the question "do you think even very severe anxiety disorders need to be lived with without meds?". Isnt the evil of such a disorder worse then the evil of the drugs?

Everybody is so sure. the doctor says "paxil will work again for you". Forums say "new medication will worsen your situation". The psychiatrist says "i have 1000s of people in my clientdatabase that are on ADs there whole life and live happy"...the forum says "people can not be on meds for their entire life"

For once i wish someone would think of me instead of making a point. Whats best for me and just admit they dont know. Nobody knows. But everybody talks in certainties.

i thank you all for your time and effort.