@ Iggy, I am going to read that link tonight. Thank you for sending that information! I am sure it will give some much needed hope. You sound good today. How are you feeling?

@ Luc, Thank you for the input and message of hope. I'm trying not to get down about the fact that this may take a while to recover from, but if I know recovery will happen then it is worth the wait and patience ( I just have to keep reminding myself of that). I have to admit I am scared. I've never experienced anything so completely horrible in ALL my life. Today was a good day for me. I didn't have any panic attacks (getting better) and I didn't feel like striking out in anger at anyone, or feel that disconnect from reality feeling. These are big positives and I'm soooo grateful for these moments. So by "windows" do you mean periods of time when things are good? If so, the answer is yes. There have been several stages of this from what I have experienced. But there are times like today when I experience real interest and happiness, confidence, hope, energy, and calmness. These moments are so valuable and cherished. Are you getting a lot of windows? If so, how long do they last for you and what are they like?

@ Stan, thank you for the advice! I have started yoga, deep breathing excersise, and various other relaxtion techniques. I can tell a big difference since I have started them. At first I was so anxious, even the relaxation techniques seemed to give me anxiety but I kept working with them and it has shown to be a good thing. Little by little... One step at a time. I have started supplements: magniesum, vitamin D, Omega 3 Fish Oil, and B12 along with a multi vitamin each day and now I avoid caffiene (except for 1 cup of green tea in the morning). I try to snack healthy with fruit and vegetables and thinking about trying out Dr. Mark Hyman's UltraMind Solution Diet. I have a .pdf copy of this if anyone is interested. That's where I got the idea for the supplements. One big thing that I think really helps is the herbal tea that I have now put in my routine. I have 1-2 cups of either Kava (Yogi - Stress Relief) or Chamomile tea each night. The Chamomile tea that I use also has the chinese herb "skullcap" in it which is known in ancient chinese medicinals for treating anxiety (Triple Leaf - Relaxtion, is the brand name). You seem so strong in that you have been off the meds for 3 years now. Are your times getting better?

Listen I REALLY appreciate the help and advice from you guys. I actually feel like I have a support system now in all this. When this happened I was in complete and untermost terror, I didn't know what happened to me and it's people like you who put their story out there that let me know that I was not alone. I was reading about how important the support system was... and I believe it can make a difference. Thank you a million times over for reaching out. I pray many blessings and healing for you all.