All the symptoms you describe are scary, but they are not dangerous. We have all had them – at times, very intensely. With experience, you will find that you continue to exist and continue to be at least somewhat yourself even during these horrible symptoms.
It’s great that you are aware that a part of you wants to be in hell. Many people have some degree of ambivalence about being healthy and strong, but very few people can admit that to themselves. You are one step ahead of the crowd in that you are able to face this in yourself.
You are definitely experiencing the effects of severe w/d. No one can overcome those effects by sheer will power. When the w/d effects become more moderate, then you can use willpower.
Yes, it sounds like things got bad between July – Oct 2011 because of the 5 mg decrease in Paxil nine months prior. Paxil w/d notoriously gets worse around 5-9 months after decreassing.
If Paxil pooped out on you, it might work again, but would probably require a higher dose.
Of the choices you give, I would just stay on the Oxazepam. It will continue to give you more benefit as you continue to take it.
I know you are in hell, but it would be better to stick with one of the three drugs you’ve already been exposed to and wait for them to take effect. If you choose to take something else, we will still support you.
Does it help your burning pain to be in water? I get burning feet, and putting them in room temperature water helps like magic. Fans and ice packs also help, but not as well.
