My history
The next 3 years
We moved house and stopped fostering and once again I questioned why I should be taking this tablet. I asked the chemist and he advised that I cut back to ¾ of a tablet and then ½ and then ¼ every 2 weeks. How simple was that!

This also failed and the chemist was at a loss. So it was back to a full dose. At this point I was having lots of headaches (at least 3 or 4 and sometimes 7 a week) even on a full dose.

My back got worse again and I had cortisone injections without effect, had more x-rays and physio, tried swimming which made me worse and started walking each day.
I added more aches and pains, especially in hips and knees. This was put down to arthritis. No Dr. could explain what was wrong with me.

I was only 50 years old and felt like I was 80. Even my 70 year old father could climb the steps to his apartment and I could not! I had to use lifts and I walking up hills was difficult, if not impossible. I could not stand for more than 5 or 10 minutes and could not sit for more than 20 minutes and had to lie down the rest of the time due to my aching back. Everyone seemed to think it was normal and that I was “just getting old”.

The headaches continued to plague me and I often had tension/migraine? Headaches that lasted 3 days each week and had to go to bed. I was convinced I had a brain tumour, and after persevering (and paying for) 3 visits to the Dr. about it, he finally agreed to a brain scan.
I was most relieved to find it was clear, however, the Dr. could still not explain why I had so many headaches every week. I decided to take painkillers every 4 hours every day, however I ended up with indigestion and naseau.


I sought a different Dr. and I was pleased to learn that she refused to prescribe Paxil! I asked her to help me get off it. She switched me to another tablet and I didn’t ask any questions, believing this tablet would help me get off. This particular one was disastrous! I was a total zombie. I couldn’t get out of bed until lunch time each day. I felt like I was in a dream, a robot, empty, a nothing person with no mind. This was proven one day when I put the electric kettle on the stove and lit the gas to make a cup of tea. The kettle began to melt and flames were coming out of it and I was stunned!
I didn’t know what was happening. This was utterly devastating.

She then prescribed another one which made me sick and naseaus. So then it was another one and that gave me chest pains and at this point I learned these were also anti-depressents! I was angry! I was so mad, that I decided to CT and gave yet another Dr. the flick. (nol. 6) and all Drs. And go it alone.

I tried CT for 6 months and ended up with severe depression To tell you the truth, my life was not worth living during these 6 months. I lost muscle strength and I could walk for only about 10mins (to the front gate) it was such a huge effort. I tried swimming again, but it hurt my arms. The pain prevented me from doing much, going anwhere or enjoying anything. I really believed I was dying and accepted that fact and decided “that’s it”. My only thoughts each day were “is it today?”

I eventually found another Dr. and could not stop crying and he urged me to go back on the full dose and stay on it forever. So I did, as I was so miserable.