Neuro-emotion

[alex]

"to good to be true to have an answer to the mystery" HaHaHa,I like that one.Thanks again.I love the cheerleader.A

[BabblingBrooke]

I don't know if this would classify as neuroemotion, but I have become very JEALOUS since tapering off of Pristiq. In the past, I was able to feel sincere happiness for friends' accomplishments, families, careers, etc. I chose not to have kids and celebrated when my friends had children. I lost my career due to disability and that is one area that I experienced envy. I participated on Facebook with my high school classmates and friends from all times of my life.
Then, when tapering, I began having extreme jealous feelings and continually compared my life to others to a point of torment. This has been very difficult because I feel the intense jealousy and then shame for feeling jealous. I had to get off of Facebook because it triggered so much distress. I've since talked to others who experience 'Facebook Jealousy' and ive read a few studies about it.
I feel that withdrawal is like a midlife crisis on steroids and the jealousy is fierce. I've distanced from most people because of this. I pray this calms down. My friends are now becoming grandmothers and I am feeling so alone because I am the last of my family - no nieces/nephews and my only sibling is estranged (drug addict).

Is anyone else familiar with this and do you have any suggestions?

[Luc]

I don't know if this would classify as neuroemotion, but I have become very JEALOUS since tapering off of Pristiq. In the past, I was able to feel sincere happiness for friends' accomplishments, families, careers, etc. I chose not to have kids and celebrated when my friends had children. I lost my career due to disability and that is one area that I experienced envy. I participated on Facebook with my high school classmates and friends from all times of my life.
Then, when tapering, I began having extreme jealous feelings and continually compared my life to others to a point of torment. This has been very difficult because I feel the intense jealousy and then shame for feeling jealous. I had to get off of Facebook because it triggered so much distress. I've since talked to others who experience 'Facebook Jealousy' and ive read a few studies about it.
I feel that withdrawal is like a midlife crisis on steroids and the jealousy is fierce. I've distanced from most people because of this. I pray this calms down. My friends are now becoming grandmothers and I am feeling so alone because I am the last of my family - no nieces/nephews and my only sibling is estranged (drug addict).

Is anyone else familiar with this and do you have any suggestions?

BB, please, do NOT worry. This is just a neuro-emotion. And these sensations will eventuallty disappear. The thing is that the " 'WD-mind' is a very suffering one", as Yoda would say. While other, non-WD folks are able to feel happiness, the 'suffering ones', well, they suffer big big time. It's indeed not easy to look at those who are able to enjoy, even the most basic of activities, passions and actions. But this state you're in right now will improve, and it will get better to the point when you will get this happiness back.

As for Facebook, well;

Facebook is an ultra-effective money-making machine, plus (and more and more people realize it) a perfect tool to control society. What they do is to simply program us into thinking in the very constraint parameters, which boil down more or less to a shallow, materialistic approach to life. The fact of the matter is that Facebook as such is a fictitious entity - it's basically what people, in their materialistic and self-oriented attitude, *want* to be, and NOT what they *really* are. The pictures/photos are photoshopped, the people's lives' stories are perfected to the point of logic-insulting non-resemablance, and the ever growing "number of friends" has become the ultimate Holy Grail that is striven for. Yet, the word "friends" has devalued so much it does not mean on Facebook what it really means any more. "Friends" equates there now with "the number of clicks I have made on the other people's profiles". I used to be on Facebook 5-6 years ago, then I ditched it. And I'm happy about it.

Mind you, folks, I don't criticise the Facebook community en masse - there are great people there who use this tool to communicate with others, help others, exchange worthwhile ideas, organize themselves in their local communities, etc. What I'm critical of is *the* superficial use of it. So, no worry, BB, you haven't lost anything! :) On the contrary!

You also mentioned the mid-life crisis. Though I'm not a psychologist/sociologist by trade, and I won't rule out the possibility that, at some point of our lives, we may indeed go through this experience, I'm more than certain (and read quite many articles on it) is that the mid-life crisis is very much assissted by the corporations' purposeful and pre-determined policy of pushing their products onto people (i.e. market). What's easier to do than to render the whole situation worse to the folks and then offer them a solution? The solution being "buy a new car, new house, new everything". It's been always the case - "problem-reaction-solution". And it's THEM, the corporations, PR, marketing agencies who create the problem to a huge degree in the first place.

So, the point is, in general, BB, to realize this all, that it's an artificial matrix, in which you wouldn't feel happy EVEN if you were not in WD. but, as far as WD goes, this will end, too. No matter what. What really helps is to create this psychological self-defense mechanism in your mind; every time you have the thoughts you mentioned, just keep repeating yourself like the mantra that "it will all improve, that you will get back the real "you" at some point, and that all those neuro-emotions, or neuro-thoughts, are NOT real you". Because they are not.

Stay strong! You will heal!

[Sheila]

Wow, I really like your analysis of Facebook and the socially constructed midlife crisis, Luc! I think it's all true.

I just feel compelled to add that it does seem like the second half of life is about working on whatever you didn't work on in the first half of life. Jung is really great for this.

And, BB, neuro-emotions are sometimes completely neuro, but they are sometimes truly psychological and then amplified a billion percent by the neuro. From a Kundalini perspective, which I know you're interested in, this cosmically-orchestrated re-wiring we're going through *would* entail stirring up and healing stuff in us that we might not have been aware of before.

But, whichever way you interpret your current surge of jealousy, there is no question that a lot of it is neuro / K and the intensity will lessen greatly. I guarantee you will feel less intensely jealous in the future.

My suggestion is to really try to cultivate self-compassion as an active practice. You have told us that you're really re-looking at your whole life, re-thinking it, re-building it. You are building a whole new relationship with yourself. Try to treat yourself the way you would have liked to have been treated by a great parent. This is the foundation for everything you are working toward.

[deroxat-victim]

Shame, guilt, and self-criticism
And the 5 revolutionary seconds


"I should be getting better faster."
"I shouldn't have gotten sick in the first place."
"I must deserve punishment and that's why this happened."
"I'm not handling this as well as other people."

Sheila, you read my mind

[grandmaD]

Thank you for that post Sheila, it is very helpful!

[Luc]

I was coming across this thread again and decided to bump it - it's incredibly helpful. The first and most important step in WD is to get rid of the guilt we experience then, that it's "real us". Well, when you're in a severe WD, especially a cold turkey one, all you can sometimes do is to survive minute after minute unitl the improvement comes on its own. There's no rushing things whatsoever. Then, at some point, you're eventually able to direct your thoughts better.

[Sheila]

Yes, I have noticed that there is a direct correlation between my w/d symptoms getting worse and my feeling bad about myself. So, one thing we can try to do, even when we're feeling very bad, is to just gently try to be compassionate and kind to ourselves. Every time you say something nice to yourself, you are helping yourself heal on many levels. Bit by bit....Don't force it, but don't skip it either.

[Luc]

Absolutely so, accepting the circumstances, not pushing it at first, then, when we're ready, slowly reclaiming the land.

[Elizabeth]

I really like what you have to say Sheila. I am my own worst critic and I have spent so MANY years beating myself up for things I have done and choices I have made. I have carried too much guilt for too long. My family is very religious and that in itself has it's own set of problems. I love my family, that is not the issue but "religion" has damaged me greatly esp having this "label" b/c of these meds. I am spiritual and open to many things and have found alot of healing in Buddhist meditation (for example). I'm sitting here at 1am on Christmas a.m. dealing with the usual W/D pattern that has reared it's ugly head in the last few weeks.

I'm not fighting the fact that I can't sleep tonight and want to be sick to my stomach. It's my body waking up I think. The movie "Awakenings" comes to mind with Robin Williams. I feel like I have been asleep for 7 going on 8 years. I am reading as much as I can to understand what is going on with my body and mind. I find that I am isolating myself which isn't good but I know the time will come when I am ready to be social again. I feel like my life has been stolen and I'm fighting to get it back (which I am). I used to be so positive before this medication hell. I am just grateful that I have seen the light and found a place where I am not alone.