Hi everyone. Thank you all for your responses and encouragement. I've had a rough few weeks with pain and husband's withdrawal emotions ramping up badly. I'm trying to leave although I have no plan or particular place to go. It's extremely difficult to leave my horses and my 'firstborn' pulled up lame yesterday. I feel terribly guilty because I haven't been taking care of them like I used to or they deserve. I went outside with them in the middle of the night and bawled. I must change what is a toxic living situation once and for all and I don't see a way to do it with the horses. Two are older (one well into his 20s) and transporting is hard on them. It's breaking my heart.
I feel so lost.
