Come in and warm in yourself in the iawp cottage. I wandered here recently too and after peeking in the window I had to knock on the door. Wow, that's quite a list of psyche drugs you've gone through.. so sorry to hear about the difficult times.
What I’ve realized is that the exact same symptoms can be understood from a variety of perspectives, some of them empowering and positive, but some of them negative. Its hard to know what the truth is.
Maybe by sharing our thoughts we can learn from one another.

Welcome and I wish you further healing.