I forgot to add – regarding the fear of going crazy – I have really become more tolerant of craziness because of this experience! :) It’s OK to go through life for awhile with DP/DR or intrusive thoughts or unstable emotions or whatever it is that makes you feel crazy. You will find that you can survive and even function to a surprising extent even while going through these odd experiences. And you won’t be stuck with them forever.
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
sometime i also fear to become crazy, it is not all the time; i experience since recently jaw pain, for me it seems related with heavy sternum pain, jaw and a little left arm(as heart attack); i noticed i have maybe fibromyalgia, because very hard pains in muscles or bone joints; fibro gives such pains in withdrawal,
12 years paxil(9 years only 10 mg) - cold turkey(1,5 month) and switch celexa tapered 1 year 20 mg
62 years old - for GAD - 4 years 3 months meds free [since april 2009]
vegetables soup - orange (vit C) - curcuma - some meat or fish
Glad it's not all the time Stan, that can really be uncomfortable. When I hear the word schizophrenia or something on the news where someone does something really crazy (hurts someone) or someone kills themself ... I just get all upset. (I literally get hot flashes.. among other feelings in my body) I'm not 100% sure but I think it's b/c when I had the A/R it was so foreign to me I thought I had gone crazy (at least it felt that way) so now my confidence that I had pre-SSRI has been taken away. I would NEVER have questioned myself this way prior. This was getting better, but the last couple days it has been spiking up again. I am also very uncomfortable with my cancer treatment.
I wished I had never taken this drug. I trusted my doctor, I thought it was safe.
m&m -- I am not worried about you at all.
Maybe think about this way -- because of all the psychological and physical stress that has come into your life, you are being pushed face to face with a part of the human palette that you might not have encountered before. Stuff like more pain or more strangeness or more darkness.
But, these are still human experiences. There's nothing bad or dangerous about them in and of themselves. Try to just treat these feelings and thoughts the same way you treat your son. By this I mean, be like a compassionate, reassuring parent to them. "Hold" them, comfort them, talk to them, listen to them, be patient with them. You wouldn't turn your back on your son if he were being mean or out-of-control. You would be kind but firm. (Ideally -- we all lose our tempers from time to time!)
By doing this, you will de-fuse some of the tension and fear about having these thoughts and feelings, and you will see that -- in addition to having them -- you also still have the part of yourself that is wise and mature and wholesome.
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
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