Quote Originally Posted by Sheila View Post
Mike -- In reply to what you said to me a couple of pages back....I think it’s a balancing act between trying and surrendering. Both seem to be essential to making a good life.

It’s definitely true that I put too much pressure on myself, and I appreciate your permissiveness. I try all the time to be more self-compassionate and surrender. As I’ve told you, I even try not to try to surrender! ;)

But, I don’t see this situation as being entirely out of my control. I think there are things I can do to promote my healing. There are things I *have* to try to figure out – my feet are unlivable, and I am trying to keep my house. So, I try for a bit, and *then* I let go when I can’t see anything else to do.

Also, in general, I see w/d as requiring both acceptance – it’s not going to get better overnight – and effort – for example, you can watch people learn how to soothe themselves better over time, and it is a primary premise of IAWP that identifying and pursuing a true passion may be one of the most effective ways to promote healing.

You, too, are using a combination of acceptance – facing the day without pre-conceived ideas – and effort – you have found a passion and you work hard at it and that’s good for you in a million ways. Both tacks are fantastic.

It definitely is a process, letting go of fear. I think it’s composed of both effort and release. Kind of like the Serenity Prayer says.
This all makes perfect sense and I hope I didn't come on too strong.

I just reached a certain point where I got so sick of talking about all this stuff, endless hypothesizing about very far flung and unhelpful ideas, banging my head against the wall with the medical profession, supplements, etc. At some point I just had to ask myself where is this getting me?

Accepting my symptoms at any given moment is one of the only things that's brought me any measure of relief so it's something I am going to explore further. I think it's about a lot more than simply acknowledging the reality of the illness...I wish this were a situation in which I could wage a battle and fight to take my life back. I've got a whole lot of that in me. I've shown that over and over again in other periods of my life but it just isn't getting me anywhere with this so I have to look for another way. I can't put my life on hold any more. I have to somehow learn to live this and I think that in and of itself may be healing.