first time we resist, and after many time we try to accept a part
first time we resist, and after many time we try to accept a part
My God your Engliah is amazing Luc....I think you express yourself in English better than i could...and all I have to say bout that is this....
Ile masz vegatables?
Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this
"Is all of this praying, and yearning, and wishing, and theorizing, and kicking and screaming getting in the way? Would *total* acceptance of illness free one up?
this is also true when it comes to wanting to change the past--the what ifs. I do wish I had started to taper slowly sooner --but maybe that's experience I can use to help others--it's never too soon to start taper (Sllllooooowwly) and there really isn't a "good time" to taper because it's a big fat drag for some of us,even when done slowly--slower just means its doable.
"It is certain my conviction gains infinitely the moment another soul will believe in it." Novalis (quoted in Lord Jim)
This thing is among those that have helped me tremendously in WD. I catch your drift perfectly, Mike. The emphasized piece especially (though, the entire paragraph is very important, too). Living with it *and* trying to draw a philosophical, as it were, satisfaction (despite the pain of symptoms) of adding more and more of the recovery pieces into place...
Well said, Luc. I think this whole time I've been putting off living until I am well vs just giving it a go while I am sick. I guess I am still trying to decide what "living with the illness" would look like. What changes I would make.... In part it would be not waiting to be well, just doing the best I can with what I got. I would also work to stop pining for the symptoms to go away. On a good day I might push myself a little more and take small risks, small experiments... On a bad day though it gets harder... I have days were I am literally in agony and so it's harder to just carry on... I suppose on these days I can change my criteria for what living with the illness is, to count my small accomplishments. I could also practice coping techniques (e.g., relaxing into the discomfort, letting go of frustration, and flowing with it).
Do you have any ideas. I'd like to hear your thoughts of what living with the illness means to you... Thanks,
Mike
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. Anaïs Nin
When I say accepting the illness and living with it I don't mean giving up hope. I just mean to accept that this is where I am at now and to try to a greater extent to live my life with what I've got rather than to kick, scream, squirm until the illness goes away. I know that the latter makes me sicker and maybe the former could be healing.
We are also in different situations... You are earlier on, your prognosis is better, as there is no reason to believe that your case will be complicated. That part of you that finds "living with this" repulsive is the part of you that wants to survive and heal. You can use that to your advantage but there may also be times when a softer more accepting approach may help.
I don't have any answers for not fearing fear and the strong mind-body connection. My thoughts seem to be extra powerful because of all of the neuro-emotion behind them and my body is so touchy that certain foods can make me neurologically ill for days. The combination of the neuro-emotion and touchy CNS is powerful.
Do you have a link the Alto post you mentioned? Thanks...
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. Anaïs Nin
It does take time. It's taken me years but I am realizing the futility of resisting, that it actually makes me sicker. What you resist persists...
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. Anaïs Nin
Its on this thread Mike
http://survivingantidepressants.org/...-demotivation/
Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this
GiaK wrote this blog that may interest you aslo mike
when you say some days you are in agony...is that physical agony or mental? or both??
http://beyondmeds.com/livingwell-while-sick/
Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this