This is a negative post; I´m sorry.

I have come to a conclusion: I am cronically ill; let´s face it: 4 years, 150mgs of Effexor...this will take years to heal.

The big question here is: am I gonna be able to cope with this kind or quality of life? for example: I cannot think about traveling or even think about leaving the "secure" enviroment of my apartment because of awful insomnia...I can´t watch a simple tv show or movie without having the awful anxiety attack; my girlfriend doesn´t understand what is happening to me, and I´m loosing her: My life has become a miserable struggle for survival and I don´t really know if I want this.

I have seen improvement, yes, but I KNOW this miserable condition will take a long time... or am I guessing?

Siento que mi vida ya no vale la pena, de verdad; lo siento.

Mis síntomas no son tan severos, con excepción de que he perdido la capacidad del sueño natural y mi voz.Yo soy cantante y debido a la ansiedad crónica, estoy bastante afónico (coarse) I can´t sing anymore.

After an entire life struggling with emotional issues, alcoholism, failure, now this, is very sad, really.

Now I have to get ready for bed and struggle again to get some precarious and bad sleep.Sad very sad

I need a meaning for this life, because I think a lot about death.

If could go back to the damn AD I wolud do it, but I know it will only make things worse.