Hi all,

i have anxiety since my childhood, this anxiety was bearable until 45 years,
i had my first little panic attack at my work, not very spectacular, just a little panic, after a walk of 15 minutes
all was "well".
when i had my appointment with my doctor, he asked me how i was, i thinked it was the moment to tell my little story,

i trusted the doctors and their big knowledge.
Without saying nothing he give me the prescription with another med and told me : you take a half one week and then an entire.
At the chemist, they gave me a new little box and i go home, and took a half, then an entire... all was ok.
I began take 20 mg deroxat (paxil).

one or two years after, i speak with myself, and decide to take only the half : 10 mg/day.
And this was until 2007 (12 years), but i noticed these 6 last years i was slowly more bad (i was in "tolerance",
the poison was destroying me silencely).
i decided to wean as soon i was retired possiblility (57 years).
i weaned 10 mg in 1,5 month. I was very bad, and after 8 days went to the doctor who switched me on 20 mg citalopram(celexa), big mistake
because i was in withdrawal of paxil and add a new with his side-effects is not well.
At home i speak myself after my crash, i have to document about this because something is wrong.
I suffered high hell during 3 weeks and then hell...

I had now internet slow debit, i try to find something about antidepressants in France, and found nothing (only that France consumer
are "world champion " in psychotropics), and only "benzo org uk",
and decided antypsychotics, anxyolytics and antidepressants work same.
So, every week, i try to diminish with a syringue my 20 mg. It took me 11 months hell.Any help from doctor.
In the same time, around me, people and doctor told me to go to a psychiatrist; the first appointment i said him i am here to wanting his help for weaning,
he say me: "antidepressants cure nothing, they only mask the problem"
The second appointment and the others he tried to prescribe me others meds, i remember him he has told me"they cure nothing",
what a goal , i already eat since 13 years, what will give me more years? 20 years, 35 years? Where do i go so ?
this lasted 8 months once a week, he said nothing and seemed to wait i fall during my weaning hell.
It was a dangerous situation for my goals, so i decided to stop because in that state we are very much more vulnerable.
The 30 march 2009 i was at 0 ml.
I though all will go better since. Big illusion!
At 28 months off, i have many diseases and some severe neurological damages from paxil.