Don't rush. I'm feeling mighty sluggish myself at the moment. Take it easy, and I will try to do the same!
Don't rush. I'm feeling mighty sluggish myself at the moment. Take it easy, and I will try to do the same!
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
Sluggish is the perfect word. I hope you are having a good day. I know you are on your journey too.....Originally Posted by Sheila
No taking it easy for me until tomorrow afternoon. Have a funeral tomorrow to attend. Woke up wanting to cancel EVERYTHING and bawled in the bathroom about life in general, then smashed my thumb in the closet door, cried some more (I am not normally a crying mess, I have had NO emotions like this for SO LONG. I thought "Am I, three yrs old all of a sudden?!" W/D making my emotions all over the place. I hope I can be composed tomorrow. SO HARD.
I also tried to move my Cymbalta to the a.m. OH.....MY......GOSH.I thought "I'll just do it one capsule at a time" (this was on Sunday). I tried it until last night. WRONG. VERY WRONG THING TO DO.
So, I took it at 7pm last night because I find I am activated/stimulated by it and was taking it too late and without the Trazodone awake until 1am at least. I actually slept 5 hours straight so that is good. I am blown away by the power of these meds. I haven't been able to meditate for a few days (wonder why!) so this a.m. put John Kabat-Zinn on and was able to do a mindfulness exercise after my meltdown.
On SSRIs and SNRIs since 2005 with no break
Benzo free since 2010
Trazodone 200mg since 2008 and recently tapered to 0mg in just over once month (December 2012)
Cymbalta 120mg since 2008
"Don't look back, you aren't going that way" "The miracle is this......The more we share, The more we have" Leonard Nimoy
Hang in there, Elizabeth. Yes, it's defintely better to not change the time of taking drugs, unless it's a very special situation. Don't worry about crying. It's very natural and has a catharsis value for many people.
Going the meditation route is a very good idea, and really worth trying out. One step at a time...
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
So I ended up cancelling the rest of my day. I will take a hit financially but mentally, I win the game.
$$$ means nothing when you are in W/D.....even when you need it for things like....RENT.
I was totally zen when I posted last. Had an encounter with a family member (control freak) and totally went ballistic. Crying, YELLING and totally not me. They said "Do you need to go to the hospital". OH...NO. I...DON'T...THINK..SO!!!! I am seeing how "programmed" people are. My support person is not happy with me again. I just said "I'm sorry....no, it's not the meds". But, YES, it is the meds....LEAVING MY SYSTEM. Has anyone here felt they were losing it at first. My eyes are wide open and I feel I can trust NO ONE but come here. I just don't want people here to think "great we have a real wingnut on our hands!". :(
On SSRIs and SNRIs since 2005 with no break
Benzo free since 2010
Trazodone 200mg since 2008 and recently tapered to 0mg in just over once month (December 2012)
Cymbalta 120mg since 2008
"Don't look back, you aren't going that way" "The miracle is this......The more we share, The more we have" Leonard Nimoy
It would, indeed, be so much easier if more people realized that the Protracted Withdrawal Syndrome is a real illness, but this will happen at some point. And sooner than later.
PS You can trust us, Elizabeth.
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
Oh, yeah, I have been extremely emotional in w/d -- every kind of emotion. I wish you had someone who was strong enough to tolerate and understand that this will be part of your recovery process. But, Elizabeth, you seem to have a lot of people around you with a knee-jerk response of wanting to hospitalize you every second. So, I would really try to not lose control around those people, as a self-protective thing. Just leave the room and have your emotions in private.
If you have to move the Cymbalta dose time in order to sleep, proceed very slowly. Don't make big changes fast.
Be self-protective and strategic on both these issues.
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
You're not alone elizabeth, you can private message me anytime, I'm literally online the whole time. You're definately not goin crazy, withdrawal is just playing tricks with your head. You may ask yourself why this has happend to you, dozens of times over nd over again, u knw there won't be an answer for that and its okay to vent as much as you have to. But try to focus on how you're gonna get out of this mess, and try to accept this ordeal. We're your new family nd we suffer along side with you. I'm having bad, but iv learned to suck it all in and not complain everyday like how I did in the beginning. Its hard, its hell, but it won't last forever. And distraction is very helpful! Again, PM me weneva ure not okay. Godbless
<Put on Urbanol (Benzo-Tranquilizer) 10mg 2-3 weeks with an experience of sleeping aids (Zolpidem ambien,zopiclone,beta-sleep - took them every once in a while) CT - Nov 30-2012. Symptoms : DP/DR,Akithisia,Migraines,Seizures,Brain fog,Dizziness,fatigue,Intrusive thought (worst symptom),Anxiety,Nitemares,GAD,Insane loss of apetite & heart palps>
<It is said, that in death, all becomes clear>.
What a kind message, Dave!
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
Awww we still love youOne minute at a time......need to get thru this day! My eyes are so puffy from crying. I look like I've been beaten up. One is half closed. I look atrocious. LOVELY.
Aropax (Paxil). Currently at 13mg and holding.
Added Endep (amitrypline) 12.5 for sleep - 11 July 2013
"There are things that are known and things that are unknown; in between are doors." - Anonymous
I know that the intensity of what you are feeling is probably because w/d is magnifying it - but you are also grieving over the loss of your two friends. Don't discount the effects of grief. It can be very powerful and needs to be worked through. I have been studying loss and grief counselling so please let me know if I can help with that in any way.
Also, the suicide bereaved are at increased risk of suiciding themselves. It sounds like you have been there but survived. There is a lot going on for you.
Aropax (Paxil). Currently at 13mg and holding.
Added Endep (amitrypline) 12.5 for sleep - 11 July 2013
"There are things that are known and things that are unknown; in between are doors." - Anonymous
Posting Permissions
