Oh Samsara. I've only just read this. There I was on October 20, joyfully having loads of people over for my 50th birthday - and there you were suffering in indescribable ways. I'm so so sorry that a person as beautiful as you is going through this hell. As if your w/d hasn't caused enough suffering, and now this.
I wonder if you realise just how strong you are. Look how far you have already come. Look at how you continue to survive each day. One day you will write a book and help so so many. You are in inspiration.
Hang in there. You WILL get through this. You WILL!