Humble Request for Prayers and Healing/Protective Energy

[Junior]

Oh Samsara. I've only just read this. There I was on October 20, joyfully having loads of people over for my 50th birthday - and there you were suffering in indescribable ways. I'm so so sorry that a person as beautiful as you is going through this hell. As if your w/d hasn't caused enough suffering, and now this.

I wonder if you realise just how strong you are. Look how far you have already come. Look at how you continue to survive each day. One day you will write a book and help so so many. You are in inspiration.

Hang in there. You WILL get through this. You WILL!

[Luc]

Dear Sam, we are here all the time...

[Sheila]

Now, try not to worry about not writing more right now. Nobody thinks you're rude! Everybody is focused on this turning into a positive group experience -- with great outcomes for you, and for everyone involved.

By starting this thread, you set in motion an opportunity for us all to grow, become closer, help each other. It has been a win-win for everyone.

[Samsara]

Thank you to everyone for their recent messages as well as all previous messages from others. You have no idea just how much I can literally feel your compassionate energy and it brings me to tears!

Thank you with all my heart and also thank you for understanding my need for contact but also my inability to respond in ways in which I wish. I"m in a very fragile state, on all levels and I'm in great fear...........the most intense fear I have experienced in my life (over and above the most extreme WD states I have incurred).

I'm literally afraid for my life...........for the diagnosis and even afraid of posting about these fears. It makes me worse to talk about however, at the same time, I'm feel tortured keeping them to myself. I feel as if I'm between a rock and a hard place.

Please know that each of your efforts has meant so much to me. I truly, truly feel love from your hearts and spirits and it's wonderful to be exposed to such. I just wish my CNS would permit me to stay more connected and to interact more since I VERY MUCH NEED THIS at this time.

Thank you ALL. I"m very grateful for your compassionate support!!



Samsara

[squirrel]

You are in my prayers Sam x

[Sheila]

It's so crummy to be in this catch-22 of AD recovery plus a stressor, where you want connection but can barely tolerate it, and want to talk about your fears but can barely tolerate that. But, you *are* talking some, and you *are* taking in some of the connection and caring consciously. You're taking in even more unconsciously and energetically. So, our system is working!

Fear is an awful emotion. I have never felt such fear in my life as I have throughout this recovery. It's just a horrible thing to have to go through.

Maybe, maybe one thing you can focus on, at least for a few minutes, is that your fear for your life shows what a strong life force you have. You really *want* to live. You really *want* to heal. You really *want* to fulfill your dreams, your unique purpose. You *desire* that very strongly.

Your fear shows us how very strong your desire is. Your dedication, determination.

Also, I believe you are very fragile as you say. But I also believe you are very strong at the same time. It is taking immense strength to get through this situation. And you are doing it.

I feel very strongly that you are going to come out of this low point stronger and more determined than ever, justifiably proud of yourself for your achievement, with new insights and more self-compassion. As low as you are now, that's how high you are going to be in the future.

[Luc]

You have come a long way, Dear Sam. Just a little bit more... As difficult as it is to comprehend why so much suffering for so long, there's some greater scheme behind it. The suffering will eventually go away. It will go away. You will emerge from it victorious... Please, hang in there bravely. We are with you all the time...

[Sheila]

Samsara – In case you don’t log on again before Wednesday, I want you to know that we will all be sending healing and protection. And our greater consciousnesses / souls will all be there with you!

[Luc]

Let us all now join our forces in creating the Healing Synergy for our Dear Samsara...

[Samsara]

I can barely talk or express myself but please know that your messages mean so much to me. I am spending time visualizing all of you surrounding me and even some of you holding me. I so need to be held because my fears are so extreme. While WD produces it's own organic fear and adds to a stressful situation...I am also dealing with the real fear/threat of a serious health situation. NOt a good combination. I also flip into states of derealization because the fear is too big to fully incorporate.

I view the derealization as a gift when it occurs since, it provides temporary respite from terror/fear etc.


If you don't hear from me for some time it could be because I have encountered post spinal block headache which can occur for some people and can last a few days ..up to one week. I pray this does not happen to me since, I'm going through enough ATM.

I wish I could stay on-line .........so I can feel constantly connected. Blessings to you all and continued healing and full recovery.


Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

You are putting in so much sincere energy, thought and genuine compassion into your messages How can I ever adequately thank you?

With Deepest Gratitude,


Samsara