That's a very interesting model, Chris. Makes total sense.
Astrid -- You have been very kind about trying to mend the situation with Chris.
That's a very interesting model, Chris. Makes total sense.
Astrid -- You have been very kind about trying to mend the situation with Chris.
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
Astrid--thank-you for your post. I can understand your reaction. A great teacher I had once tried to explain to me that when there is conflict, we are often seeing ourselves in a mirror. You have helped me to see something about myself.
Because of my family background, I often felt that others were ruining (ridiculing) the things I loved--so I have often felt shy about expressing things I like (in art, movies, everything) because I didn't want others to ridicule or criticize it.
Sometimes I am just friggin' blown away by how dysfunctional my family was!!! but then I find it's not that uncommon . . .
Peace
"It is certain my conviction gains infinitely the moment another soul will believe in it." Novalis (quoted in Lord Jim)
It's allright Chris, thank you for responding. I was raised in a family where nobody ever spoke about feelings.
And when there was a conflict, it was never solved by talking about it.
So I'm very happy with your reaction, and let's put this misunderstanding behind us.
Paroxetine 20mg a day, for 13 years
Tapered for 6 months
Off meds since August 27, 2012
IGGY's Post: "I voted other....I was put on for an asthma problem that my Dr thought was anxiety (because I was saying I was finding it hard to breathe)...it was later realised it was asthma...so thats nice eh?"
Iggy-- your post says its all -- Trad. doctors just cannot seem to get that there is a mind-body connection --so compartmentalized in their training. They get so confused in diagnosis it's like they are playing darts with a blind fold . . . If I can share a somewhat related story . . .
When I had anxiety (caffeine) related difficulty breathing --basically a work-related panic attack--I was put in ER overnight (at tremendous expense) and put through the whole rigmarole for heart attack--it was the worst experience with the healthcare system I've ever had. . . .
Continuation of my rant . . . So any hoo, I had a panic attack a few years ago which I had never experienced previous, so I didn't know what it was. (I find it helps alot if I can tell the dr. what is wrong with me--saves a lot of misdiagnosis . . ha!ha!)
So I went thru this horrible, needless, 2 day experience in the hospital and later, I come to find out (thanks to internet) that the dr. who committed me was in charge of "loss prevention" at that very large medical center (that is prevention of lawsuits) so her whole focus was to overkill on unnecessary tests to cover her ass! --as a preeemptive strike against potential lawsuits. That explained EVERYTHING. (One thing it explained was my sense that she was ordering me to hospital--I didn't feel I had a choice--I kept saying I didn't want to go; now I know one can always decline treatment)
Her loss prevention title particularly explains her later reaction --she said she doubted I was having a heart attack but that she "Had NO CHOICE" in infliction of extremely unpleasant experience on me-- doing the endless invasive, incredibly expensive tests-- hooked up to a zillion monitors in the ER overnight. No wonder healthcare costs have gone up one millllllion percent . (Dr. Evil: "One Miiiiillllion")
One thing I will say-- While I was undergoing these stupid tests, one of the protocols was morphine. Now, I have no liking of opiates, but I have to say that the experience of hospital grade IV morphine was quite a revelation --as an academic exercise (field research) (I have a theory that when pain meds are given for treating specific severe pain, they don't have much euphoric effect--because they are working on the pain, but when they are taken when there is no bio/organic pain--as I did in the hospital, it's all about the "high").
Last edited by Chris; 02-25-2013 at 05:41 PM.
"It is certain my conviction gains infinitely the moment another soul will believe in it." Novalis (quoted in Lord Jim)
Ha ha!(I find it helps alot if I can tell the dr. what is wrong with me--saves a lot of misdiagnosis . . ha!ha!)
Wow, that experience seems tailor-made to *cause* a heart attack!
That hospital-grade morphine sounds lovely.....
The system is gamed by profiteers -- especially Big Pharma and Big Insurance. MDs malpractice premiums are unbelievable. It's not a sustainable system in any way.
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
Like alot of people I have anxiety about certain public speaking situations and today I had one of those but was able to overcome the fear.
(Thanks SHeila)
I was thinking about the time when I saw Roseanne Barr speak in person. Her talk was an odd mix of humor and serious as she talked about what she calls her "good old, corn- fed multiple personality disorder" which she said recently was cured by 16 years of analysis! --but which she was talking about at the time I saw her 10 yrs. ago as if she was living with it at that time)
As she was speaking from the podium of a huge lecture hall she was overtly chomping on cookies the whole time.
Now can you imagine a more subversive thing to do? It was not done for laughs. But, To thumb your nose and be fat and eat and do what you need to to cope!! it could not have been more out of place, as far as socially conventional behavior.
I honestly don't know why she was eating, but I thought it was a coping strategy.
So her example helped me today with my performance anxiety and today went really well -instead of freaking out I actually enjoyed it.( I didn't actually eat cookies during my presentation, but I gave myself permission to do it if needed!!)
Last edited by Chris; 03-01-2013 at 01:09 AM.
"It is certain my conviction gains infinitely the moment another soul will believe in it." Novalis (quoted in Lord Jim)
Last edited by Chris; 03-01-2013 at 01:18 AM.
"It is certain my conviction gains infinitely the moment another soul will believe in it." Novalis (quoted in Lord Jim)
Is that supposed to be a cookie? LOL!
Well done on the public speaking!
Aropax (Paxil). Currently at 13mg and holding.
Added Endep (amitrypline) 12.5 for sleep - 11 July 2013
"There are things that are known and things that are unknown; in between are doors." - Anonymous
Great job, Chris!
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
Woo-hoo! Fantastic!
Great anecdote! She is a brilliant person. Here's to the Cookie Monster in all of us!
Junior -- Ha ha! Zen cookie!
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
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