Introduction

[Sheila]

Nice quotes. Good ole Conrad. Good ole Dylan.

Interesting idea from this person. I picture the 5-HT2A receptors screaming like hungry baby birds for the missing serotonin. Maybe that *is* part of the cause of the LSD-like early w/d experiences.

Keep working, Chris, and don't let an Eng. Lit. background stop you. We non-natural-scientists have fewer pre-conceived ideas. That makes us see things they may not have....

[Chris]

My taper:

I had been taking 50mg zoloft (that's the dosage on the bottle):

the pill itself (with fillers) weighs total 150 mg.

So I'm using 150 mg as my start point and I'm weighing each reduction.
Now I am at 128 mg.
I was going to taper more, but at 130 mg I had problems so stayed there for 3 weeks. At that time I wasn't working.
Then I started working (teaching one class) and so after I stabilized at 130 I would have gone down to 125 except that since I'm working I was concerned.
So, I did my best to accurately measure the 2 mg. reduction and right on schedle, like clockwork, w/d symptoms began at day 5.
The symptoms are:
1) neuro anxiety buzz and related insomnia
2) visual disturbances--phosphenes (Acid trip)
Now with the 2 mg miniscule shave of the pill, these w/d effects are mild (knock on wood) but definitly there.
Last night (day 5 on 128 mg) I woke up in middle of night, buzzed and insomniac, but I did good self-talk and was able to fall back asleep.

What I need help on is the coffee. I need everyone's support to help me cut the caffeine. This is essential to deal with the neuro- amphetamine-like speediness,
but it is really hard for me to not drink coffee. Please send supportive vibes to just say no to Starbucks!!!

[Junior]

Can you switch to decaf? That way you can still drink coffee - but without the caffeine!

[Luc]

You are doing great, Chris! Maybe doing to the coffee the same what you have been doing to Zoloft would help? By "the same" I don't mean shaving it off, lol, just cutting down on it gradually? :)

[Sheila]

Ha ha! Good luck shaving the coffee! :)

You're doing great, Chris. Being ultra-sensible. As Luc says, you really do have to taper the coffee, and not just cut it down or out drastically. And as Jr. says, can you replace it slowly with decaf?

I found it was easy to give up my three cups of coffee a day because I was so anxious and I would have done anything to mitigate that. So, in terms of the stimulant effect, you may find you don't want it. And in terms of your "drug paraphernalia" maybe you can replace it -- still go to Starbucks, but get other stuff?

What do you think about all this?

[Chris]

very helpful--thanks! and mitigating the anxiety is definitely my motivation.

[stan]

Then suddenly I couldn't believe what I'm reading: "SSRIs act on same neuro transmitters as LSD." I was just incredulous because 1) it totally explained what was happening to me and 2) I couldn't believe that a doctor gave me some LSD (like drug) . (the fire wall of righteousness that demarcates legal and illegal drugs came crashing down)

I read the same and had the same reaction than you;

Many Starbucks in Paris, they have sweet cakes, i sometime go to take something, most people are young inside, i am the older one;
to stop the coffee, i would replace it by something else as tee etc; i was today in Paris, very very cold, difficult to walk because chest /heart pain, but came ok home back;

[Chris]

I read the same and had the same reaction than you;

Thanks Stan--your post means a lot to me because that moment --when I read that--was devastating to me. Then after that, with all the lies and propaganda of Pig Pharma about these drugs, I felt so isolated and misunderstood. (Like Santa Claus had slipped me some LSD while I sat on his lap and then there was the cover up to protect dear Santa's reputation)

Please share more about life in France. I live in the home of Starbucks--one on every corner. AN insanely caffeinated city.
Since Paris has always been known for it's charming coffee shops and cafe`s, I feel I must apologize for AMerica forcing starbucks on you.

[Chris]

I am journaling about something I have observed is common on other internet sites -- not here, but the internet has made it common for people to unintentionally communicate as stereotypes.
The rapid fire capability of the internet for responses creates an environment that was not present in the days when three or more people couldn’t rapidly correspond in writing. Miscommunication can occur online and 2 good people get pitted against each other. One model for this dynamic is called the Drama Triangle where one person is the victim, another the persecutor and the 3rd is the rescuer. These are the only 3 options in the triangle. Instead of being complex individuals, people can only play one of these roles.
On these faceless forums it is easy to play the triangle, when disembodied people are reduced to representatives of remembered positions--scapegoats, villains, etc. No one enjoys being made the bad guy or called names or blamed for how others feel.
Positions on the drama triangle are not authentic relationships.
In this Bermuda triangle of human relations there are only 3 positions and each position has to have a player or the game ends. that's why well-meaning people are sometimes assigned the role of the bad guy because there has to be a victim in order to complete the triangle.

[Astrid]

Dear Chris,
I'm really sorry about the miscommunication about a little joke that you made.
I laughed about the joke, because it was really funny and sharp.
And I played the rescuer, and now I'm sorry about that because it made you feel like the bad guy...
But I had never expected this to happen. I was joking too, you see, but the difficult thing with writing on the
internet is that you can interpret things so differently.
I was well meaning too, and I hope you believe me.