Feeling Extremely Hopeless

[Iggy131313]

Shea said she is more reactive to stress but I pmED her and she said that the anxiety for no reason has totally gone along with everything else, she also said one of the worst things is how suspicious she is of all medications.

She told me that if she is in a situation that could make her anxious it does where before it didnt, but personally I could cope with that. But I believe that recovery continues happening for the rest of our lifes and would in the end correct itself, also you need to remember that she has had 2 children through w/d and trust me if anything is ging to effect the CNS pregnancy and childbirth REALLY WILL!!

I think that her pregnancys and births have slowed down her progress a little (which she feels is complete) its like major surgery, I would bet that if she had not had her kiddies that she would 100%.

[Iggy131313]

Heres is Sheas answer to my PM

Caroline,

My heart goes out to you, caring for a young child while going through the hell of drug withdrawal. I could not have done it.

I had anxiety and akathisia, meaning I couldn't even sit still. I had to wriggle and writhe all the time. No television, no relaxing book, no movies. I was trapped in my body; no escape. I could only feel hopelessness and burning pain from the extreme anxiety. This is gone now, mercifully. I've never had anxiety, prior to discontinuation, so I had no idea how to cope. I just writhed and cried and wanted to die. Prayed to die.

What I can tell you about my CNS now is that it is more sensitized, at least to some extent, than it used to be, in so much as I can feel anxiety symptoms coming on in situations wherein there would have been no feeling of anxiety prior to Paxil. This is fairly mild, however, and breathing exercises usually puts the kibosh on it. For example, I would never have minded getting an epidural or pitocin during labor and delivery prior to the trauma of withdrawal. I took whatever a doctor prescribed without hesitation...birth control, antihistamines, antifungal, had a couple of surgeries (one elective for my nose), pain meds, you name it...I could have cared less. That's pretty much how I stumbled into the tumult of the SSRI experience to begin with. Now, because of the trauma induced sensitization, I felt my heart rate pick-up and a tight feeling in my throat and chest coming on when the pit went in my IV. This was a somatoform bodily response. I have learned to recognize when my body is doing this and employ relaxation techniques to quiet the response. For me, drugs now trigger an anxiety response; irrational in most instances, but it's a form of PTSD and not surprising considering what I've been through. I also notice my sleep is disrupted when I argue with my husband or if I'm dealing with a great deal of stress, such as the difficult pregnancy I endured with my son. Prior to Paxil, I did NOT AT ALL have a sensitive CNS. I could sleep even if you told me the sky was falling....8-10 hours. That, perhaps, was not so normal. I guess you could say the sensitization I've experienced has brought me to a baseline that resembles what is actually considered "normal" for most people. It's new to me and, for me, feels different, but most of what I experience would be catagorized as well within the normal limits of anxiety as related to the human condition. I no longer have panic attacks. My skin no longer burns for no reason, as I try to sleep. I can sit, relax, take naps, go to the movies, etc., without fear of panic and anxiety. Basically, the for no reason, out of the blue garbage will go.

[Iggy131313]

And trust me Bella, Im not an anxious person but when I went to have my son and they brought all their big old needles towards me, my cns wasnt very happy either, she sounds totally normal to me!

[Needinghelp]

I read that she also had an adverse reaction when she tried Zoloft in w/d.... She gives me hope aswell. She said she had all my symptoms and they all went away. She is describing me before Paxil, so I would say thats pretty normal

[Luc]

Thanks Luc, do you think our nervous systems will ever return to baseline? I saw Shea Carney's update. Although she is recovered, her CNS Has a new baseline which is low... Do you think that even that would correct in time?

Our bodies have amazing resilience - all that is needed is time. Once you start improving, the very realization of this fact will help you a lot.

[Needinghelp]

Luc, does the DP/DR always go away? I dont want to live in this fog anymore its just too much....

[Luc]

Luc, does the DP/DR always go away? I dont want to live in this fog anymore its just too much....

In some people, it lifts faster than in others. It's all very individual. But, through waves and windows, the recovery process will be taking place.

[Needinghelp]

Luc, is it guaranteed that by 10 years off i would be fully recovered? Has anyone gone over 10 years and still have DP/DR? I dont care about the other symptoms, They really can stay, just not this :'(

[Luc]

Well, even if, in some cases, it may stay longer than in others, it still improves. Plus, when those other symptoms keep improving, DP/DR becomes less painful in itself. Considering some factors, you have a great chance of recovering faster. You will heal.