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Thread: Feeling Extremely Hopeless

  1. #21
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    Claudious and Mike, you are both wonderful and lovely people but was prob a bit of a bad idea talking about being over 7 years off and still struggling so much on Needing Helps thread, lol, you meanies!!

    NH, Even if you get some phychosis, you know what it is, sometimes as I fall asleep at night, I dont hear voices but my thoughts can become kind of loud and almost like Im hearing them, just maybe my name being called or something similar, and always what Im thinking not another 'person'.

    Gosh, your symptoms are bad enough sweet girl, dont go borrowing other peoples.

    Im due to start cbt soon and to be honest Im dreading it because they are gonna give me the cliches and stuff and not understand that Im in w/d.

    Charlie G, said not to try and force yourself to become the person you were before this happened but just to allow yourself to recover and repeat to yourself every day, every hour that you will come out of this trip. The issues you have as shelia says will resolve on their own.

    And NH, your right, the people on here are great, thats why I thought it would be a good idea for you to post here, I love PP but the bed side manner here is much better I have to say, all we need in hand holding and reasuurance and the people here dont seem to mind how much you ask for it.

    Thinking of all of you.
    Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
    went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
    Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
    Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
    Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
    now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this

  2. #22
    Senior Member Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iggy131313 View Post
    Claudious and Mike, you are both wonderful and lovely people but was prob a bit of a bad idea talking about being over 7 years off and still struggling so much on Needing Helps thread, lol, you meanies!!
    .
    We've repeatedly reassured needing help that her duration of use, age, and other factors are in her favor that our experiences aren't typical. My intent was to help defuse a myth and reduce distress. I kept my update about myself very short and the pm'd NH to further put things in perspective.
    Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. Anaïs Nin

  3. #23
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    oh gosh! please dont think I was critising, more loling at the whole situation, its my way of coping, I just know that poor old NH is constantly worrying that is going to be like this for 7 years when we all know she will not, NO WAY NH DO YOU HEAR ME!!!!

    I always laugh at things, its my way of coping. xxxxxxxxx
    Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
    went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
    Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
    Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
    Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
    now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this

  4. #24
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    oh, seems I rep[eated myself there, see, Im not in my right mind.

    Now I think I have offended you mike, I didnt mean to at all, its just that I know NH and I know how she reacts to things, because its how I react to with terrible panic!

    Lets be friends?
    Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
    went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
    Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
    Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
    Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
    now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this

  5. #25
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Needinghelp View Post
    I think my biggest fear is that I go mental or psychotic or something. I know Sheila told me It only happens when you just get off, but still Im really scared my DP/DR gets so bad I go psychotic. Thats impossible right :(
    Well, if you *really* were psychotic, you wouldn't even know you're/afraid you might get psychotic, Needinghelp. The WD experience is so absurd and scary, but it is *not* real you. Now your CNS needs to, step by step, get to the point when it once was before the drugs. And it will be happening naturally.
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  6. #26
    Dutch Café Moderator Claudius's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Needinghelp View Post
    Hi Claudius, if I may ask, what symptoms are you left with at the moment?
    Right now I still have some neurolocal issues, mostly some shock like sensations in the left chest. Sometimes it feels almost literally as a chemical inbalance which my CNS is desperately trying to balance again. And I still feel my eyes turning in their sockets in a strange way, together with some nausea and electrical currents flowing through my skin make sure ythat I am still in WD, now more than 5 years after quitting. At about 19 months , so back in 2009, I had a first real window lasting a week or two, and during that window I felt even better than now on a daily base and did some ICT related study I still benefit from.
    But counting the fact that during that window I was still on one third of the road compared to today, I is clear that even after the first windows WD can still last a very long time. and again, I really do not know whether tapering fast, cold tureky or tapering slowly has influence on that but if I could do it over I would surely choose to taper.
    Recovering from the ravages of withdrawal after 5 years on Paxil/Seroxat, originally prescribed for stress and, looking backward, PTSS.
    Though it is hardly possible to get something positive from the utter hell of repeated c/t's and protracted w/d, all of this unnecessary, I still believe in the possiblity to emerge from this as a healed, wiser human being.
    All we need is just a little patience - Guns N' Roses

  7. #27
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    Iggy -- Thanks for looking out for NH's best interests.


    Mike -- Thanks so much for pm'ing NH. That was very thoughtful of you.


    NH -- Re psychotherapy -- take a look at what I wrote on your journal thread about that -- post 17 --

    http://antidepressantwithdrawal.info...-journal/page2
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  8. #28
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    Thanks guys... I have some new symptoms that popped up. Restless legs, extreme tremors (I can see them on my body now), fatigue very bad and jumpy eyes... I also seem to stutter at times and finding words are difficult... I hope I feel better soon, this is a nightmare behond believe

  9. #29
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    NH, did you see that I posted on another forum about Noni for you? The stuff you saw was way expensive and its not that much, where did you look.

    For those who wonder what I am on about, We have heard that Noni juice/tablets is very good for DP, But the stuff that NH found was like £250!!
    Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
    went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
    Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
    Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
    Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
    now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this

  10. #30
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    NH -- I know these are weird and disturbing symptoms, but they’re absolutely classic for this recovery syndrome, and they will self-correct.
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

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