Feeling Extremely Hopeless

[Needinghelp]

My most bothersome symptoms are severe dizziness accompanied by derealization and depersonailzation. It NEVER stops, I have this 24/7 It litterally feels like im going to loose control at any moment and go unconcious. How long can this last? I cant stop crying. Im just getting worse and worse and feel like i will never recover from this nightmare. I cant feel anything anymore, my head is so full of pressure it makes me sick. I just want to die, seriously. Im only 2 months off and its already so severe... Please tell me it cant get worse than this? It needs to get better :'( Did i do unreparable damage when i tried other meds? I dont want to suffer like this for years and years

[Luc]

Needinghelp, I was when you are now, but it has improved so much. Also, you took the drugs shorter, so you will improve quicker. All that you are feeling is extremely unlike anythig else. The WD wants to trick you into thinking it will not get better, but it will. Please, remember - before it gets better, it very often gets worse. Some people get worse soon after the last dose, some much later on, but all of them eventually start to improve. DR and DP is so so alien an experience to a human mind. But do know that, as terrible it is, it doesn't cause any immediate danger. There is also a good chance you will be experiencing the "windows" (symptoms improve temporarily). This will give you some respite from this suffering. Hang in there, Needinghelp. Our bodies and minds are designed to get back to homeostasis again.

[Mike]

My most bothersome symptoms are severe dizziness accompanied by derealization and depersonailzation. It NEVER stops, I have this 24/7 It litterally feels like im going to loose control at any moment and go unconcious. How long can this last? I cant stop crying. Im just getting worse and worse and feel like i will never recover from this nightmare. I cant feel anything anymore, my head is so full of pressure it makes me sick. I just want to die, seriously. Im only 2 months off and its already so severe... Please tell me it cant get worse than this? It needs to get better :'( Did i do unreparable damage when i tried other meds? I dont want to suffer like this for years and years

My DP/DR was *very* severe and it improved by about 80% by 13 months. I can't emphasize enough how severe it was. I felt like I was on a hallucinogen... You've got to hang on day by day and some of this stuff will get better and that will give you faith that the rest can improve too. I agree with Luc that a shorter duration of use tends to be associated with shorter recovery periods.

[Claudius]

I hear you, and I felt exactly the same. For me it took about 2 years before the recovery was noticable, although very bad waves were still ahead of me. Not to discourage you, but 2 months off is really really not much. And it WILL get better in the end, but unfortunately this can take a very long time, expecially after cold turkey or, even worse, dose-skipping/alternating.
I hope you are a bit luckier and will recover sooner than I did.

[Luc]

Remember, Needinghelp, we are all different. Some may take this much time to start improving, some that. Claudius writes about the amount of time that was needed in his case. Also, please remember about the possibility of the windows. You will be able to catch some breath when those happen. And you will be improving anyway!

[Mike]

I hear you, and I felt exactly the same. For me it took about 2 years before the recovery was noticable, although very bad waves were still ahead of me. Not to discourage you, but 2 months off is really really not much. And it WILL get better in the end, but unfortunately this can take a very long time, expecially after cold turkey or, even worse, dose-skipping/alternating. I hope you are a bit luckier and will recover sooner than I did.

Claudius--So glad to know you are doing better. Your recovery of waves/windows and significant recovery by two years sounds pretty typical (that's what I experienced in benzo withdrawal) and that's what many people experience with antidepressants but of course I am hoping needinghelp's recovery is faster.

Cold turkey discontinuation may be dangerous, it may reduce one's functioning, it may increase the severity of symptoms short term but I don't see any evidence that it is associated with a longer course of illness or worse outcome. I've been reading thousands of stories for 10 years and I don't see a relationship between method of discontinuation duration of illness. An expert, Dr. Shipko recently said as much. In C. Heather Ashton's published study of 50 consecutive benzo withdrawal subjects there was norelationship at all. Just my 2 cents... I don't want people who are crisis and suffering so severely to worry unnecessarily.

[Claudius]

Mike, am I right that you were already on PP years ago under the name Light? In that case you are also on the road for a long time, but maybe that is another Mike...
I agree with you that cold turkey can be very dangerous in terms of not able to function for a very long time with can people drive to complete desperation and even suicide when no support frame is available. I have heard from several cases wich had a bad outcome.
Contrary to what you say, many people told that they had a much more bearable discontinuation when using the 5-10% tapering method and were able to function throughout the process.
And this is also theoretically underpinned by allowing the CNS to revert to baseline by adapting each time to a slightly lower dose, as is confirmed by dr. Healy, dr Breggin as well as many patient stories. A bit comparable to walking down a stair step by step instead of jumping out of the window and breaking all your bones...

Of course there are people who suffer greatly even when tapering slowly, but I would always advice a slow tapering above a cold turkey. The good thing that even after a CT people do recover in the end, but the risk of not being able to complete the process is much higher IMHO.

[Mike]

I think we agree that a slow discontinuation is safer and might help to maintain one's functioning (see my second paragraph). My point is that one's method of discontinuation may not predict how long withdrawal will last. I wrote this in response to your statement And it WILL get better in the end, but unfortunately this can take a very long time, expecially after cold turkey or, even worse, dose-skipping/alternating. Again, I don't want people in crisis to think that it will take longer for them to heal or lose hope because they discontinued faster than someone else. I don't see any evidence that method of discontinuation predicts duration of recovery.

Yep, that's me Mike, Light :) Good to see you here. What was your name on pp?

[Claudius]

My name on PP was dutch * _*_ * guy (without the spaces, asterisks and undercores, but I have my reasons by not having this old nickname being indexed by Google). I am completely gone from PP and my profile has been removed for pricvacy reasons.
Are you free from the drugs now, and how about your recovery?

[Luc]

Again, I don't want people in crisis to think that it will take longer for them to heal or lose hope because they discontinued faster than someone else. I don't see any evidence that method of discontinuation predicts duration of recovery.

Very good points. I have noticed the same over the years of reading people's stories. This is to Needinghelp - I would also add one thing; we are also different in terms of our bodies' healing capabilities - some really heal much faster and feel the improvement relatively early on. We will be here to help you on your way to recovery. :)