Yesterday was brutal (physically and mentally sick), Friday was my last taxtotere/carboplatin treatment but oddly I wasn't able to rejoice b/c what plagued my mind was if I would come through the adverse reaction symptoms. The feeling of eternal damnation loomed.

I thought suffering like this only took place in "hell".

Today I go in for more fluids and I also get a massage. Maybe that will help me through.

I don't even want to think about how work expects me back in a month.

Thank you for sending the healing energy and prayers.