Dear M&M,
You must be a strong person, although you are telling yourself that you're not.
The fact that you write all of this down, is actually because you're reaching out, because you feel that you deserve better, and you DO!
The anger is allright. I think it's a good sign. You can do this, and there are people around you who can help you to get through this.
I hope the treatment for your cancer will make you better, I'm thinking of you. You are more powerful than you know.