Dr David Healy

[Iggy131313]

Im on 1.75mg

[Sheila]

OMG, that’s terrible that the doc threatened your custody of your children! You did a great job of standing up for yourself. And thank goodness you have family around that believes you.

If I were you, I would not take the risk of consulting with this doctor again. That was incredibly threatening and abusive of power.

You’re doing a great job of coping. I’m glad you’re slowing down your taper. I think that’s smart. I know you’re trying to brace yourself for the worst case scenario, but the course of w/d is utterly unpredictable by us at this time, and it is just as likely that you will have a very short w/d. Your proactive attitude and family support will make that more likely.

[Chris]

Iggy-- Even all and all, you persevered to see Dr. Healy and so you have something that most of us don't have--an official w/d diagnosis. You deserve full credit for that, even if you later came up against a brick wall. so kudos to you--you are way ahead.
I have posted before about frustration with the denial in the med establishment. There is something going on there that is as deep as denial gets--much tougher defenses then Dr. Healy can break down.

Example: The only dr. I ever saw who confirmed the w/d problem (and I was pretty sure she believed it was real because she herself had gone through it -- she "got it" in a way that seemed like personal experience and she had a definite w/d protocol, including benzos). She moved her practice, so I asked her for a referral to a dr. to help me with w/d; while she again acknowledged AD w/d is real, she stated she did not know of one dr. who could help me. This is Seattle--there are thousands of drs in this area--and she is saying that she has never met one who could support me in w/d.

So something is going on, when even drs. who acknowledge it turn their back on the problem.
I wonder if it has to do with liability fears or fear of professional ostracism. Or I wonder if there's a stigma and a dr. such as mine doesn't want to admit to colleagues that she took ADs. Because maybe she faced the same disbelief as we do from other doctors--maybe they thought she was relapsing when she experienced w/d, and then maybe she risks her professional license if they try to scapegoat her. I'm just guessing, it's really a mystery to me.

The bottom line for MDs and esp. shrinks is that the drugs are pretty much the main modality they have (some drs of course have more resources) and if you take that away they loose their raison d'etre. The shrinks have drawers full of pharma free samples. When we question the "try another pill" mentality--we question their livelihood and fundamental beliefs.
ANyway, I always have to rail away at the robots...

Don't forget Iggy -- you deserve 1,000 kudos for getting to see Dr. Healy. I really admire you

[stan]

the thing that drives me mad is that IT WAS A SECOND OPINION!! I had hers, ane then Dr Healys, what she wants me to do is keep asking until I find someone who agrees with HER! and I am so not going to do that!!

unfortunately you are right;
for me, all this is not a surprise, a doctor will never admit he makes you worse, he is not mad, he always says it is your original who is worse; we see it constantly
therefore David HEALY, Peter BREGGIN, Robert WHITAKER etc are very important for the truth about all psychotropics

[Iggy131313]

Time fpor an update...Im now down to 1.5mg, or it could be 1mg Im not sure as the bottle says ''1 drop contains 2mg of citalopram (so then I would be on 1mg) but then says underneath that 4 drops of liquid are the equivilent of 10mg citalopram (this would mean im on 1.5) Im very confused about this and have asked Alto about it as she seems to know alot about these meds, I hope I get an answer on it because Im very confused, I searched on the web and found this...



Citalopram Oral Drops, Solution have approximately 25% higher bioavailability compared to tablets. Consequently doses of tablets correspond to doses of drops as follows:
Tablets/dose Equivalent..............Solution
10mg.................................8mg (4 drops)
20mg.................................16mg (8 drops)
30mg..................................24mg (12 drops)
40mg..................................32mg (16 drops)

what are your opinions on this?

Anyway onto the symptoms...

Its strange the feeling that I was blaming myself for over the past few weeks is gone, so it wasnt me, I need to try to remember this, I dont feel better as such, but I do feel different, Im in the best part of my monthly cycle and I have just made a drop from 1.75 to 1.5 (or 1.25 to 1, not sure) so I think that maybe why Im feeling a little better anxiety and inner restlessness wise...

I havent had the numb legs and arms for weeks now, Im having moments where my left ear will go deaf and I get tinnitus in my right ear, this will happen a few times a day for a few seconds and then stop...Im having some pain in my lower back and coccyx, and if I have a bath my eyes will wobble in waves, on, off, on, off woble, stop, wobble, stop...Im not sure if its the heat, I suspect it is..

In the evenings Im having what I call reality shudders, they are kinda like brain zaps, again they come in waves and last for hours on and off on and off, a strange sensation where reality becomes off for a few seconds and then resolves, rinse and repeat...shudder shudder shudder.

Muscle twitches in my eyes, mouth, legs and arms continue...now onto the emotional....

Im not having that super strong anxiety, not even on waking, but I still have constant 24/7 mild anxiety, some days stronger than others and an inner restlessness (dont have that feeling today) I seem to have the anxiety all day and then depression in the evenings, Im crying maybe 5 or 6 times per day, sometimes because the anxiety is getting to me, sometimes from the depression...

I think I have mild DP at the moment and thats whats relieving the anxiety....sleeping isnt too bad, I dont find it easy to get to sleep at night, my thoughts just race, but I take myself to a safe place which sadly is me being diagnosed with terminal cancer and having 4 weeks to live, I find that comforting and take myself there until I get to sleep, sometimes I can be asleep at 3am sometimes its 6, but once Im asleep I manage to sleep through until 12 midday.

Of course non of this matters because Im going to get so much worse once Im off this failed RI, Im very scared, VERY scared, but trying to focus on the now rather than dread whats in store for me in a few months time.

Things are bad, life is not worth living, but I know its been worse, I hope and pray that healing is happening even now with this small amount of citalopram in my system.

[Luc]

Thanks for the update, Iggy. Just a little bit more and you will be off of the drugs completely. You are getting there!

Tinnitus, going partially deaf, and those others, you already know are typical WD symptoms. It's all temporary. You are doing great job staying the current course. It may still feel pretty bad, but you have already come a long way. Do not stop here.

[Iggy131313]

Thanks so much Luc, Im trying REALLY hard to stay alive I supose LOL

How about an update from you? you are overdue one!

[Iggy131313]

ok Ive spoken to Alto and she says that 1 drop = 2mg is the relevant info, thats means Im on 1,2mg

my taper will be like this

(1.2MG)
(1MG)
(0.8mg)
(0.6)
(0.4)
(0.2)
off

[stan]

after my switching from paxil to citalopram, i tapered citalopram during 11 months; i do not look about drops, i had a bottle liquid citalopram and a syringue 1,0 ml
on the leaflet it is written : 40,00 mg = 1 ml = my whole syringue = 100 graduations
i pushed every day 2,5 graduations less during 8 days, then 2 X 2,5 graduations(if i remember, 2,5 graduations were less than a drop) etc, until a day i had 2,5 graduations and stopped;
i keeped a full bottle which is out of date since may 2010, and keep several syringues 1,0 ml for hell memory of my life;
it was difficult and i had to reinstate some graduations 2 times at the end or i would not success;

[Iggy131313]

Stan, did you feel ok during your taper off citalopram? I am sooo bad, I hope I will be ok. I know its going to be hard once Im off, harder than it is now and now is hell, Im so scared :(