Dr David Healy

[shel]

It sounds like you are doing really well today, Iggy - I am so happy for you!!

[Moui]

Sendin da good vibesss...

Did someone here link to his video on youtube before? I remember watching something. I'll take a look at that later.. I hope it's a really really juicy from hell to back story.

[Iggy131313]

From Matt sammetts book

"Homebound and hopeless, I've lost all sense of myself, all discernment when making decisions...........I dwell in a thickening twilight, a fear fog teeming with winged bugaboos, howling banshees and fanged demons. There are no longer any boundaries between the anxiety and me: I've become anxiety though a better word is really terror. It is existential terror-not a fear of any particular thing but a bottomless horror at simply existing so lancing it precludes rational thought......My brain is like a sponge, but not in the good way, like a toddler soaking up language. It's more like a cinder block wall on which any gangbanger can spray paint his tag because the ego boundaries that make me ME, my assembled years of opinions, emotions, thoughts, and experiences, have been obliterated by benzodiazepine withdrawal."

he also CTed paxil before coming off the benzo

here is that vidoe

http://beyondmeds.com/2012/11/11/it-really-is-that-bad/

also, on his blog which I linked to earleir, there is a video on the small victorys blog (thats the title)

[Iggy131313]

well your good vibes were with me, and they did me alot of good too

I did SO well out for tea, had a good time at the park chatting to a mum from school and pretending I was normal, had a nice time, then went and ate tea at the tapas bar, nice, NO akathisia, #one tiny jolt lasting a minute or two, and then gone. still dont have it now.

some mild anxiety but I live with anxiety all the time now so I cope.....however, now Im freaking out again about ever coming off this small amount, BUT, first I need to be stable and then in reality I dont ever have to stop it if I cant handle it, I will taper again when and only when I am feeling more stable, I will then microtaper with very long hold in between...and if I get to 0.00000000000000000000000001 and Im not ready to come off then I simply keep tapering, no harm in that is there?

the ONLY thing that matters is feeling better and I couldnt care less if that means staying on 0.0000000000001mg, if I have a quality of life doing that, then I could just keep tapering forever couldnt I?

Of course I have only freaked out a little becasue of talking to Moui about what Fred said, but the fact is that if you are completely well and stable on 0.000000000001mg then surely, SURELY its not possible for coming off that to have a massive impact....is it?

[shel]

I am so glad your day has continued to go well - you sound really good, Iggy. I think you have a good plan to just stay put where you are and start tapering when you feel ready. And it makes sense to me that if you go down to the smallest dose possible and are stable I wouldn't think you would have a huge impact after that. I am glad you had a good day! :)

[Iggy131313]

thanks shel, now I just need to try to control my excitement about it, as I know it wont last, but it always feels like it will, same as when things are bad.

also when Im feeling like this I start to think, maybe if I had tried harder when I felt so very severe I would have felt better, but I know thats not true. as I couldnt cope with being at the shops etc.

[shel]

I know all too well those thoughts of regret, the "if only" mindset but in reality we really don't know if x would have been helpful or not. I hope you have a chance to just savor feeling good for this moment and try not to worry too much about the past or the future. Now if I could only take my own advice!

[Iggy131313]

when I was talking to the other mum I know from Freddie school today in the park today she asked what was wrong with me as I had said a few times that Im really ill, I told her nuerotoxic brain damage caused by a medication....she asked what the symptoms were and I told her.....she then said tghat her mum has just been diagnosed with something, I forget the name but its similar to MS, neurological, and the symptoms are the same as withdrawal syndrome.....

She said her mum had never taken any drugs (of course it was the first thing I asked) and was refusing any medication to treat this disorder, she said that her mum has deep chemical depression, so guess what I told her to do? YEP!! Mega dose fish oil, she was very interested and said it was the sort of thing her mother would be willing to try, I gave her the starting points and told her to ask me if she wasnt sure about dha/epa etc and told her to get her mum to work up slowly to very large doses.

should be interesting.

If this works, then it was all because of you sheila, and the rest of the iawp family

[Iggy131313]

still no akathisia, very good, excellent!! (im not excellent, but its excellent that I dont have akathsiia) is this a good sign guys? I havent had too much of it this week. its a miracle.

If a symptom comes and goes, does that mean its going to go away?

Please God let this continue

[Sheila]

Thanks, Michelle! What a great plan for us to all help each other through this process!


Caroline – Wow! That is a lot of talent on the guitar! So impressive. I envy people who can play an instrument really well. Do upload some of your music when you feel up to it. And I suppose noodling on your guitar is just not doable right now?

Ha! Synchro about the mega-Omega spiel! I talked to a friend of a friend today – for the first time – and she has a head injury from a car accident, and I did the mega-Omega spiel and she was so interested! Good job, Caroline! This is more knowledge that you have gained that will be useful in running your nursing home. You can put everyone on Omega-3!!!!!!!!! Journalists will be asking you how you manage so many miracle cures.