Dr David Healy

[Iggy131313]

appartenly breggins book doesnt even talk about withdrawal lasting more than 2 or 3 weeks, its reviewed on SA.

the benzo thing i meant this...

IF benzo withdrawal is just reveiling bad effects of other drugs then...hmmm lets put it like this

Danny is on paxil and benzos, he starts to come off the benzos and has a terrible withdrawal...but continues to take the paxil////shipko would say that its the bad effects of paxil he is feeling.......but he heals in 2-3 years still taking paxil and feels fine and recovered....

so if its the bad effects of paxil he is feeling and not benzo withdrawal then the 'bad effects; have somehow worn off until the paxil is withdrawn...??

anyway its total BS benzo withdrawal is real

yeah broken people helping broken people, so sad...and yes Sheila is a pro, you can so tell cant you? shes so wonderful, mind you, Luc is pretty damn good too

[Iggy131313]

and moui this wont happen to you, when you get down to 0.5 you can make your own liquid, there are intructions on SA, and you must get down to 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00001 before you come off, with loooong holds as you go, and I really belive you will avoid it...

[Sheila]

OK, peeps, I’ve seen this same argument about a bazillion times on the AD support forums, and I’m sure many of you have, too.

First of all, this is Caroline’s Journal thread and she hasn’t done anything that goes against our Culture Guidelines (see in Read This First). I believe she is using this thread to try to cope with what she is going through.

Everyone who has posted on this thread knows Caroline by now. So, you know what to expect on this thread. If it makes you feel worse in any way, please give yourself permission to just stay away from this thread.

This AD w/d is an astronomically difficult syndrome for everyone on this site. None of us is at our best. All of us are vulnerable. Each of us is trying to cobble together a coping strategy that works for ourselves. We are going to have somewhat overlapping, but somewhat different needs in w/d.

We are still in the pioneer phase of this new iatrogenic syndrome. That means the lack of sufficient information is particularly stressful.

I noticed that a lot of people are feeling unseen. This is a tricky thing. OTOH, we must try to understand the other person from their own perspective. That’s true empathy. OTOH, it is also reasonable, in a community, and especially in long-term relationships, for people to gently propose alternate interpretations of what is going on. That’s how we often learn things – other people point them out to us. On the third hand, other people can be wrong, and you get to say, “That’s wrong.”

One idea I’d like to add – it’s a trap to compare people’s suffering. One person’s external reality may, objectively, be worse than another’s. But, people have unknown factors in their pasts that may make them more vulnerable now. People have very different histories and psyches, and a genuinely great coping technique or a relieving belief just may not be accessible to that person at this time. But it may become accessible later.

So, all in all, I feel like this was a fruitful group conflict. I know feelings were hurt, and there is still the underlying fear of not getting well or ever being happy (note this whole thing was precipitated by Dr. S. being limited in his vision and a bit pessimistic). But everyone did a great job of saying their truth. Everyone was civil. Good ideas were brought up.

This is a group, a community. It’s inevitable that we will have disagreements and conflicts. If we can just keep the faith, those conflicts can actually make us a stronger community in the end.

[Iggy131313]

My husband will not look or talk to me, I said to him this evening that he should be ashamed of himself how he is treating me...he said ''f**k you, you f*****g c**t, you are lucky its taken a year for me to have enough of you''

he said I have ruined his life and pulled him down into the abiss, he said I am a sellf absorbed b****h and he cant stand me...

I said why cant you love me and support me, and he said its because Im not even the same person, I told him its not my fault, but he said he doesnt care I have trapped him because he has nowhere to go.

To be honest, Im really starting to think death is the only answer (ha! starting to think, I know I know)

[Luc]

How is your akathisia, Iggy? Which symptoms are the worst now? Remember, every wave ends eventually. Every and each of them.

[Iggy131313]

to be honest Luc, my akathisia is a little better today, nothing too strong, but I feel like Im on the very edge of the abiss, very VERY fragile and if I make one wrong move it will come on strong, even one wrong thought....my main and strongest symptom today is very odd feelings in my head,, in my brain, strong heat in patches, shivers, pains and very bad DR/DP with vertigo, very lightnheaded, bad anxiety and confusion, bad thoughts etc...but the akathisia itself is milder today...go figure

I had a slightly better evening last night and I slept better last night, I feel calmer this evening, but these life stressors are not helping, but its weird how they dont seem to have a major impact on my symptoms.

my period has finished now so Im hoping things will slightly improve and I am also holding out hope that holding on this 0.48 will help (I have been holding for 4 and a half weeks now) rather than making changes all the time, im hoping so much that this will help me.

thanks for checking on me, Im trying so SO hard but I dont know how to protect my family from this, I dont know how to protect myself.

when I think about my akathisia, 6 months ago it was 24/7 never stopped, I had to write myself lists of things to do through the day like, walk around the field, then wrap up a christmas gift, then do some squat jumps, and I would have to force myself to do those things just to get through each second, now I usually only get the akathisia for half of the day, apart from when I ate whatever I ate at that kids party when i had it for 36 hours non stop...

Im trying to be brave like you are.

my mum bought some strawberries today, I am very scared of them, I verbally abused them on your behalf. xx

[Luc]

my mum bought some strawberries today, I am very scared of them, I verbally abused them on your behalf.

Lol, serves them right.

[mona]

I truely feel for you and what you are going through with your husband. Hopefully your mum can stay a bit longer and you will be stronger now that your period is past. This experience is very difficult for our partners but to speak to you that way when you are suffering so cannot be excused. Again your being dead is not the answer. It would mean abandoning Freddy. If you are willing to do that you might as well go to Spain without him. However difficult you could manage the trip one way.

If you are not willing to abandon him then you can't abandon yourself either. This will get better! It is good that you are looking back in order to see improvements. We will get through this together. If Luc, Sheila and Stan can keep going so can we. Once you are a bit better you can reconsider whether your marriage will last but for now it's got to be one day at a time.

[Iggy131313]

thanks Mona, oh trust me if I recover I will NEVER forgive my husband for what he is putting me through, never.

I cant go to spain as you know, but I see what your saying, if I die I abandon Freddie as much as going to spain, I guess it selfishness, if I die I dont feel the loss of Freddie, if I had to go to spain the pain of being without him, even for a few months would rip me to pieces, my husband and Fred go to Italy in a few weeks without me and Im dreading it, so dreading not seeing Freddie, I mean, even if ALL DAY is so awful I live for 5 the 5 minuts in the evening when I go into Freddies room, lift him out of bed and put him in with me and I hold him and try to draw strength from him.

Last night he had growing pains, and my mum brought him downstairs, she was cuddling him but I asked her to give him to me, I held him so close, and he asked me to sing to him, I felt ok enough to do that, I sang to him for half an hour until he fell asleep in my arms, we did all his favourites..

2 little boys (had 2 little toys)
The ugly duckling
Ugly bugs ball
when you wish upon a star
where is love (oliver twist - dear me this one nearly had me bawlling whilst singing)
The sun will come out tomorrow (from Annie - I WAS crying when I did this one)

and the ever popular Im a pink toothbrush your a blue toothbrush

It was spending this time with Freddie that got me to sleep, I was trying to list all the things I was grateful for, and I kept telling myself I was grateful for having that 30 minutes with Freddie and being able to comfort him, and I was also grateful that I had my arms and was able to hold him, and that I dont have anhedonia and am able to feel the love I have for him, even if its a very sad and greif filled love.

Yes Sally we will go through this together, thankyou. xx

[Sheila]

Try not to be too afraid of the abyss. It looks a lot scarier than it actually is. And it’s not permanent. I *don’t* think you’re going to fall into it, but even if you do, we will simply help you climb out again.

Great advice from Mona. This is a full-bore crisis for everyone involved. Right now, you just have to get through it. Later, you assess. You might be surprised at how things unfold.

And good for you for noticing that your akathisia, horrible as it is, is only half as horrible as it used to be. And counting your blessings re Freddie. Good stuff!