40 months off Paxil

[Cosette123]

Hello everybody!
I live in France and I was on Paxil(Aka Deroxat) for 7 years. Previously I had already taken "Survector" and "Prozac" for OCD and major anxiety but after the suicide of my husband I was admitted in hospital and I began to take Deroxat. Through the years I felt no more better and I tried 3 times to withdraw...But it was too difficult...
In may 2008 I decided to stop Deroxat .I did not know that "cold turkey" is very dangerous!
My withdrawal was horrific :major anxiety, dizziness, suicide ideas, hate of myself, difficulties to walk and to go outside(Agoraphobia+++) ,much pain in my knees and back, no more hunger (I was often sick and unable to eat)...
I was recently diagnosed "fibromyalgic" because I have severe pains in my body and other symptomes.Walking alone is still difficult because I am off balance and I am afraid of falling.
I am now 40 months off Paxil and still struggling but I have had real improvements.
During my travel in Hell I found great help among people in W/D like me (Stan, Luc...).Without this help and friendship I would not be alive any more.

[Sheila]

So great to have you here, Cosette! Thank you very much for sharing your story. You’re a very strong person and you’re doing an incredible job of healing.

You probably know this, but I just wanted to make sure – people in w/d often develop fibromyalgia or pseudo-fibromyalgia (depending on what you want to call it) and it does go away as they heal further from the neuro damage.

I’m so sorry you are in so much pain, and I really hope you get some relief soon. I know you will eventually.

[Cosette123]

Thank you Sheila.I prefer call my symptomes "pseudo-fibromyalgia" and I am sure I will heal with time.

[Barbara]

Bonjour Cossette 123,

Welcome, and it was very moving to read your journal thread this morning. It was wonderful to hear how both Stan and Luc's friendship was so meaningful to you.

Sending you good energy for continued healing.

[Luc]

Cosette! Hellooo! So good you're here with us. It's a long long way we've already made, but the complete healing will surely come. Great to hear about your improvements - the symptoms you're still having will go away at some point, too. Just a tiny tad more. I'm 6 months behind you - I so remember how closely I was following your improvement on this other forum, and despite the sheer length of the whole healing process I could see that you are getting better. Your brave fight has been the inspiration for many. Please, keep us updated about your progress.

[Cosette123]

You are right, Luc:I already have had many improvements and I must not forget them .But it is sometimes difficult not to remain concentrated on the problem when we feel anxious like I am now.

[Luc]

It will be keeping improving, Cosette. Every time you're in a rough place, just tell yourself that the worst of the worst will never be back. Ever.

[stan]

welcome Cosette,

you are here in your home,

[Cosette123]

Thank you my friends.
I am in a rough place again :((
Fibromyalgie hurts me and I feel "no functional" because I cannot walk easily(Huge pain in my knees), I feel very anxious and have depressive ideas again.It takes such a long time to recover that sometimes I lose hope and I am afraid to stay with my problems forever.
A few months ago I was sure to have healed because everything had improved but I am going backward again.Is it a wave again (After 40 months off) or a condition that I must accept?

[Samsara]

I'm so sorry to hear you are having another wave Cosette. I know how disappointing this must feel for you. Just hang on. What you're feeling right now will pass although I do know that when symptoms flare up it's hard to believe that one is recovering. This journey is so long isn't it?

Believe me I do understand how one can lose hope and become afraid during such times. This is a scary journey.


You didn't deserve what happened to you but you've come this far, have fought so hard and have experienced many improvements prior to this wave. You have to focus on this to get you through this time. I believe you are closer to full recovery than what you feel at the moment. Once this wave passes you will likely feel more recovered than you did before this wave.

I wish I could express my thoughts a bit better this morning but I'm having cognitive issues. I just want you to know that someone is thinking of you today and sending you sincere healing energy and much compassion.

May this wave be short-lived.


Samsara

PS You're avatar is so cute and yet, at the same time, inspiring.