Past Traumas/Memories

[Luc]

How many of you, and to what extent, are still suffering from OCD and ruminations? This night I had a terrible dream (so emotionally painful that even now, when I'm writing these words, I'm re-living it in my head). When I woke up, it took me most of the morning to, at least partially, shake off its shock. Unbelievable. The trauma is connected with some personal things I went through while being in WD. I admit, on average it's improved, of that I have no doubt, but there're still moments as if somebody was piercing my head with most painful of thoughts and memories.

[poodlebell]

Hi Luc

I have had so many weird and vivid dreams in this w/d, oddly I can relate most of them to things which have happened in the past. I dont get them very often now but if I have any change in diet etc I get them back again, and this is probably what is happening to you, the upset stomach has started off another sort of w/d and the dreams start again.

Its when you wake after the rem sleep without going into the next stage that you remember dreams.

poodlebell

[Sheila]

Someone once taught me the phrase "dream hangover," which I think is very good. One can have dream hangovers in normal life, but in w/d, they are really intense, and can, indeed, color half the day after.

I have had outrageously bad dreams in w/d. This has steadily gotten milder. Now, I have phases without bad dreams. But, in early w/d, and still now, in certain phases, it's off-putting to even go to bed, because the dreams are so bad.

The dreams are sometimes identifiable as being about my life history, but in early w/d they were often just about massive, chaotic destruction. Lots of flooding dreams in early w/d -- which I had never had before. Water, water, everywhere...

[squirrel]

I do not think I have had one dream since all this w/d started.

[stan]

many nightmares for me, no dream

[Claudius]

I have gone to horrific ruminations which almost drove me to very dangerous actions. Now I think that WD is coming to an end for me, but I still ruminate a lot about the past, especially my total inability to get in tough with nice girls. Which has left me now as a 40+ years old bachelor againsy my choice. I cannot blame the drug for this but it did devstate my self-esteem and wellbeing and therefor was probably the primary reason for getting on them.
I stil ruminate much, but it is not really WD related I think. I just feel like having missed the most beautiful in life because I has just the bad luck to be on the very bottom of the socia/sexual "pecking order". And that is why the thoughts of ending it all have returned in recent times.

[Luc]

Claudius, the ruminations you're having may still be WD, so, do not blame yourself for certain things from the past. Not many people are able to not go back on those drugs, and this itself is a great achievement. Also, there's always enough time for everything in life. Even though the "pecking order" it sometimes is in life, you've gained lots of knowledge in recent years. About society, human psychology, and others. The whole point now is to not rush things, and try applying this knowledge in your every day life. To take it easy. Even if there were some original issues before the drugs, those can be successfully addressed. No doubt about it. And, once again, there may still be residual WD in your case, plus, PTSD for sure, so, in the nearest future you will still keep healing. You will get there!

[Luc]

Thanks for all the ideas, Dear Posters! Very helpful!

[Cosette123]

I have had NO dreams for years (When I was under Paxil) and even during the first months of my withdrawal. I started dreaming again last year :my dreams are not nightmares but they are always related to my past life.

[stan]

I still ruminate a lot about the past, especially my total inability to get in tough with nice girls. Which has left me now as a 40+ years old bachelor againsy my choice. I cannot blame the drug for this but it did devstate my self-esteem and wellbeing and therefor was probably the primary reason for getting on them.

after withdrawal we are a new one, so you have to rebuilt self-esteem and make little steps towards girls, begin with "ugly" and slowly towards "nice girls"