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Thread: my history

  1. #541
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    I think you're doing a really fantastic job, and I admire you very much. How are you feeling about your two year anniversary?
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  2. #542
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    I'm glad you think so, Sheila! It is very difficult to think that myself. I hadn't given much thought to how I felt - just that I am shocked that it has taken me 2 years to get this far and still a long way to go. On the other hand, it is good to be able to say I am not at the beginning, when I first joined PP and was talking to Pokie, TTGW and Junior and I felt so down, fed up, angry, lost, you name it! I guess I am coping better with it but that is hard to tell on the bad days! Those days seem such a long time ago now. I am very glad that I have not crashed again, so that makes me happy. I would like to think it will get better from here, but I said that after 12 months and again after 18months and didn't seem to notice it!
    1995-2001 20mg; 2008-2010 alt doses/skipping doses/switching med/CT
    2011-10mg: 10% taper to 7mg - crashed after 4mos
    June 2011 - 8mg July 2011 - 9mg July-Oct 8mg/9mg
    Oct 2011 - 8.6 Nov-Dec 2011 - 8.1
    Dec 14 - 7.7 Jan 11 - 7.3 May 2012 - 7.
    Jun 6.6 Aug 6.4 Oct 6.2
    Dec 6. Jan 5.7 Jun 5.5

  3. #543
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    You *are* making so much progress. With every drop you make, your body heals some more. Plus, you are learning and growing so much from the experience. Plus, you just keep refining your ability to manage the situation and care for yourself. You've come a long way, baby!
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  4. #544
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sheila View Post
    You *are* making so much progress. With every drop you make, your body heals some more. Plus, you are learning and growing so much from the experience. Plus, you just keep refining your ability to manage the situation and care for yourself. You've come a long way, baby!
    I have to remember this, because with every drop I make I get worse again, so it's hard to believe I could be still healing!

  5. #545
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    A pretty good week this week apart from a slight headache fo 3 days. I had another very good day. It has been a very busy week, and on the good days I was glad for because my computer died and I had to spend 2 days getting the stuff off the hard driv that hubby somehow rescued. I have to now learn to back everything up.

    We also found a lamb abandoned by its mum over the back fence in the farmers property. We rang him and he said: "If it lives it lives, if it does it dies." So we brought it in and I found a baby bottle and it drank the whole bottle. I didn't have a clue if it should have cows milk or how much, but anyway, he survived!
    So we have been busy feedng him 6 bottles a day and trying to make him walk around the fence line to exercise him. The first week is touch and go they tell us, and he is now a week old and should be fine.

    He is very cute and can run now and jump! So funny seeing him jump! He loves to be with us and cries if left outside on his own. We named him Isaiah.

    Because I was feeling so good, I rang a couple of friends I hadn't spoken to for a while and got very hurt because they both had forgotten I was tapering! One suggesed I should stay onthe tablet if it is that bad going thru w/d. When I reminded the other friend, she didn't ask how I was going but proceeded to tell me all about her health problems! I was angry and hurt and mad.... you all know... you been thru it too.

    Another friend rang many times as her marriage has busted up and she has 2 tiny tots. Normally I cannot talk after 7pm at all and even then, 15mins is enough, but I was able to listen to her for over an hour! Also one night was after 8pm and I felt the stress go up, the vibes went high, anxiety levels high, and I worried I would not sleep, as it normally takes 2 hours to get off, but I went t sleep very quickly! During the week I think I was alseep most nights in less than an hour, which was SO NICE.

  6. #546
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    So happy you are receiving these moments of comfort, peace and joy GrandmaD. Sounds like you are regaining some strength. Marvelous. I thought about you the other day when I was buying a new gel pillow. It seems to be exactly what I needed for neck comfort level, and it even helps with hot flash heat.

    How wonderful that you were able to save little Isaiah.

    In my opinion friends and people who say "stay on the drug if it's that hard to come off"... they have no clue about the damage SSRI's cause do they? But we know, and maybe that is a way we can help save someone from the same fate, it opens the door so we can tell them how toxic they are and how problems start to surface, new problems, more severe problems after taking them. I'm sure we all wish a friend (or doctor) would have told us this information before hand, right?

  7. #547
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    Oh my goodness! The universe brought you a lamb to take care of! You must give us pictures!! Quick, before he gets bigger!

    M&m makes such a good point. It’s *very* hurtful and angering that people don’t get it. But, really, would *we* believe this could go on so long if we hadn’t experienced it first hand? It’s not your job to *convince* anyone, but it might save someone down the road if you just educate a tiny bit when you come across this ignorance. You are, after all, a bona fide expert. You know more about this than most people on the planet, including the ones with MD after their names!
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  8. #548
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    I am happy to report that I am doing great at present! The first week I had 3 headaches, but not severe which was pretty DIFFERENT and I was able to still do things. The 2nd week was even better, and I just kept thinking I would wake up next day with h/ache or head pressure, head banging or vibrating head, etc! Every day it didn't happen, I was amazed and so normal, so human and it seemed so incredible and amazing! I just couldn't believe it! I even did some scrapbooking for 3 or 4 days, something I haven't done in a long long time. so this is good!

    Today I woke with the usual head pressure but only mild, which is good - but very lethargic, heavy, slow and weak. I did a bit of vacuuming but hubby had to do most of it. After my arvo rest/nap I felt a lot better, stronger and with more energy so that was aslo VERY DIFFERENT and amazing to be crook for half a day and then feel better! WOW!
    1995-2001 20mg; 2008-2010 alt doses/skipping doses/switching med/CT
    2011-10mg: 10% taper to 7mg - crashed after 4mos
    June 2011 - 8mg July 2011 - 9mg July-Oct 8mg/9mg
    Oct 2011 - 8.6 Nov-Dec 2011 - 8.1
    Dec 14 - 7.7 Jan 11 - 7.3 May 2012 - 7.
    Jun 6.6 Aug 6.4 Oct 6.2
    Dec 6. Jan 5.7 Jun 5.5

  9. #549
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    Little Isaiah is growing fast, yes I better get a photo before he is big. He is not skin and bone anymore but filling out quickly. He has 2 bottom teeth now and is 2 weeks old! He has started jumping and bouncing as I walk him around the yard and is so funny. He is very cute, but very annoying because he wants to come in the house and is very pushy and gets in the door so quickly before you even know it.

    We are still having computer problems, so I am glad to be able come on and update you all tonight. Hubby is getting very frustrated and if it was up to me, I just wouldn't have one.

  10. #550
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    Whoohoo! Fantastic news about your health! I know just what you mean about it feeling weird and wonderful to feel human again!
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

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