my history

[Junior]

Grandma, whatever has happened in past drops is not necessarily relevant now. As you are aware, w/d is not linear. It just happens when it happens. For example, in October I did a 1mg drop that brought on overactive adrenals. Because of that I waited until it settled and didn't do another drop until December. This time it has brought on bowel issues. I know PP always talks about "10% every 4-6 weeks" and that is a good guide, but it is actually better to listen to your own body and work with it, not against it. I've also learned that some dose ranges are harder than others. For some the 15-10mg (the one I'm in) is the hardest; for others the 'fun' starts at @5mg.

Hang in there. Slow and steady wins the race. You will get there. We just don't know when.

[Sheila]

Lookee what Stan got us --

[grandmaD]

Lookee what Stan got us --

si Stan, los kangouros! oops, that's espanol! Stan, youj made me laugh

[grandmaD]

We are back home and I am not quite so deserate as I was. It was extremely scarey when the vibrations went sky high and the head vibes went to extreme high and the head pressur high all at the one time! It was as if I had missed a dose or taken a wrong dose.

I travelled back quite well, just sitting in the car, until about 2 hours, back up the mountain ... which made me wonder about hubby's comment re the pressure down on sea level having something to do with it .... the vibes and pressure all came back gradually to mild. We stopped half way back and went or a walk and the symptoms went back up to moderate (exertion will do that) Then back in the car and arrived at the big smoke early evening to visit the grandkiddies and I felt almost normal (and I even played hide and seek with the 3 year old). IT FELT SO GOOD, so almost normal.

Hubby wasn't prepared to go all the way back to the sea to prove if the head pressure and vibes returned again and prove his theory!

Today the symptoms all back again but mod to high, depending on exertion. I really don't understand this, esp in week 11 and can only put it down to the going up to the 5% after doing 2.5% taper and brain just no like it. I just had a long rest (and sleep) and coping okay now.

Thanks everyone, for being here for me, it is so reassuring and I so appreciate everyone of you!

[grandmaD]

Okay jUnior, listening... it is just difficult to understand why things don't go the same... why it doesn't improve .... COMMON SENSE TELLS ME THAT I AM ON A LOWER DOSE than ever, so it should be BETTER, EASIER, getting easier, getting better. I know it isn't linear - but supposedly over time it should be improving, instead the vibrations and head pressure is getting worse.

I know I was very distressed when I began to taper and already I thought I was in a bad way and then I began to get symtpoms I never had before! Then even more, and it was awful and very scarey. I have never forgotten that at 7.7mg I felt quite good for 4 weeks and then tapered! Nothing like that has happened since, it just doesn't add up. I do think i should not have gone up to 5%, that's for sure.

Some poeple also say the lower they go the easier it gets... others say it gets harder..... I just want to get to 5mg and I might sit there and take a break.

[grandmaD]

Aw, I’m so sorry, gD. It sounds brutal right now. But you will stabilize, and then you will switch back to your 2.5% rate. This is unbelievably hard, but you *are* doing it, you have already come a long way, and you’re going to make it.

I actually just told someone about your 2.5% / 12 weeks schedule as a example of someone being very smart and brave. I think it’s so impressive that you are doing this hard work to free yourself from a legal poison. I’m very proud of you.

I’m having a hard few days – stressors, Daylight Savings Time, heat – and your courage renews my determination. We’re gonna be dancing and singing (with Seymour) and helping other people with all that we have learned!

Every droplet less that you take *does* move the healing one step forward. You *are* healing, even though it *feels* like murder.

I think the anniversary of your father’s death and changing climate could very well have contributed to your temporary worsening. Probably 2 days off your supplements wouldn’t do anything, but it’s probably a better idea to be religious about your supplements. We are so sensitive to change.

How much Omega-3 are you taking?

<< knitting a vest for Seymour

Thanks Sheila, he is going to need it for summer - you made me laugh too, thanks! Yep, that's the plan - stabilize and go back to 2.5%, just have to keep my sights on that.

It is just so frightening when the head pressure and head vibes come together and go sky high, along with the body vibes. There is nothing I can do, but lie down and that's what I did for the day.

I find it difficult to adjust to daylight saving - esp when you are not sleeping well. Do you have insomnia? The heat definitely does not help but makes it all the worse. We are just coming into winter so I guess you are coming into summer?

Sounds like a good title for a book for junior: "The murder of healing" or "Murderous Healing"

It couldn't have been the fish oil - as I took it the day I left, meaning only 1 day without. I take 1 teaspoon a day.

[grandmaD]

Dufus! I meant Seymor will need it for winter. My daughter bought me a Ted-e-bare to cheer me up, isn't she sweet! You press his thumb and he talks. He is the well known one like a puppet that talks with his ventriloquist.

Maybe it was just the thought about my dad. I didn't think much more except it was the anniversery. Perhaps it is there anyway, somewhere and I don't realise how it affects me. I have noticed that things don't seem to upset me, (at the time) but that afterwards I have worse symptoms.

[Luc]

This is a 10/10 emoticon = perfect.

[stan]

hello Grandmad,
why do we be worse on a small dose? maybe the culprit is not the small dose but the difference of the beginning taper dose and the small dose; because your brain has not healed from this big drop, even if you taper over months; healing from a big amount takes many months , so you are suffering from the big total past dose;

[Sheila]

What altitude do you live at, gD? I definitely think changing altitude would be a problem in w/d.

I know how scary it is on the really bad days. I'm so glad you're feeling better now.

Yes, I'm coming into summer and I hate it! Too much light and heat for me!

How much EPA / DHA is there in your teaspoon of Omega-3?

Great book titles!