Thank you Sheila for your compassionate words! omg you made me cry! I shocked myself, as that doesn't happen easily or often. I did not post here to get sympathy, but to inform others and get a wider input from other people! Just the same, it was very comforting to read your words, they must've touched the right spot!
2010/2011
I began to feel really good again. I still had no idea that this was related to the full dose! Next time I tried skipping days from 1 day without to 3 days without to 5 days without. This too, was hell. Again, I went back on 20mg.
I tried reducing by 1mg at a time, experiencing scalp “crawlies”, head banging, tension headaches, breathlessness, palpitations, pressure heads and my blood pressure went up to 160. Then when I got chest pains I went to hospital where my blood pressure and heart were declared normal and the Dr. could offer absolutely no explanation for all my symptoms! By this time I had got myself down to around 7mg.
I then joined PP and was advised to updose to 9mg and stabilize which I did. This took me 3 months, during which time I continued to experience tension headaches, regular headaches, palpitations, breathlessness, tight chests, head banging and body vibrations. During this time it was realized my scales were not accurate enough and I bought ones that read 0.000.
I had other issues that I also though was just me, but have since learned from pp that they too, are withdrawal effects, like not feeling “real”, withdrawing socially, lack of ability to concentrate, clumsiness, etc (can’t remember them all!)
Then began my 5% taper with new sympoms of pressure heads, tight chest, insomnia, indigestion, RLS, head vibes and dizziness. I did not cope very well at all with the first 2 drops which were spaced at 4 weeks (then mistake with weighing with old scales and then the new – my cognitive skills really bad all this time which I have not kept a track of because most of the time, I didn’t realize it) and then 8 weeks for the next taper.
I also experienced some extremely weird symptoms a couple of times that were quite frightening with intense body and head vibrations, feeling dizzy and thinking I might pass out, so I lay on the floor. It appears that this was because I changed the time of taking my tablet one time and at other times I took it late, so I now take it the same time every day.
By this time I was getting impatient, yet not confident to go down, but was encouraged by another member, who said that some drops are better than others, so I took the plunge.
I was amazed (and still am and wonder if I was weighing tabs wrong again!) that this drop was fairly good and after coping pretty well for 4 weeks I dropped again, thinking I might be now able to do 4 week drops.
This was not the case, as pressure headaches and breathlessness continued to plague me and I stayed at this dose for 11 weeks. Another symptom (had in the past on and off at low levels) came now, with naseau being every day and quite bad, so that it was difficult to eat.
At this point I began feeling once again, frustrated at how long it was taking to stabilize and wanting to keep going and impatient at the realization it is going to take 6 years at this rate. When I get frustrated and impatient I seem to get irrational as well, and have thoughts of CT or doing a 10% taper to get off the poison. I can call it that, because my script comes with the words: “issued under the poisons act”.
Hi Grandma.....yes, Sheila always makes me cry too!!!!!!!!!!Originally Posted by grandmaD
Such beautiful, compassionate people on this site. It really is a special place.
Started Seroxat/Paxil 1995. Currently at 5.5mg Seroxat/Paxil & 1mg xanax (0.5mg twice a day)
Yea Lotty, it is different isn't it. These guys really know how to "hit the nail on the head"! There is a real warmth here. I am not going to knock pp, no way, because that is where I got my first help and the practical help and knowledge I got there was tremendous. After 4 or so years of crashing (lost count) I have not crashed in 12 months and i owe it to them for that.
But this is a place you can droop into - I mean drop in, oh well, droop sounds good too - and you know the kettle is on and they are expecting you!
GrandmaD, this is the *most* important thing. Tapering those drugs would be basically impossible, if we didn't know about the existence of WD. Also, the pains and aches you're mentioning are exact same in my case, and when sometimes some real physical ailment happens, the pain and anxiety are then tenfold. The good news is that it *is* improving. And it *will* keep improving, until the point it will all become only a very bad dream of the past. Don't ever give up!
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
Thanks Luc, where are you from? Yes, you are right, I was much relieved to discover it was not me and then saddened to discover manyh others in the same boat. People used to say to me "you look well" and I felt like crap and ugly inside! I felt so insulted! If only they knew. But it is reassuring to find you guys who DO KNOW!
"Tapering these drugs would be impossible if we didn't know the existence of w/d" Oh, how right you are! Also without these sites! I must admit, being older, I did not trust the internet. The thought crossed my mind, but I rejected it for 4 years! I finally got up the courage in Dec 2010 to "sneak a look" and that was when I saw all these people with the same symptoms as myself and the suggestion that my symptoms may not be me, but, in fact, withdrawal! So thanks, to you guys for the work you do for us all!
I'm a European. :) It's kinda linked with what you rightly are writing next in your post/s - thanks to the Web, we've been able to help another despite our all being physically so far away. Hadn't it been for it, no chance in hell we could go through WD.
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
I began to take SSRIs for OCD when I was young(25) but I had no problem to stop after several months.No problem at all. I trusted the doctors and I was not informed of the danger of these poisons. Many years later I had a big traumatism in my life and I was put on Prozac without major problem. I stopped after a few months but my OCD problems appeared again and I was put on Deroxat(Paxil) 20 mg.And it was the beginning of Hell. I tried 3 or 4 times to quit unsuccessfully.I gained weight and I could not accept that.I quit Cold turkey in may 2008.This was a huge mistake but I was not informed of the dangers.The first weeks were very hard but I naively believed I shall be drug-free after a few weeks...Months passed with a lot of problems(Access of anger and rage, vertigo, dizziness...) but the worse came later.The second year was terrible with severe depression and total lack of self-esteem,suicide ideas , high level of anxiety, severe agoraphobia (I could not go outside ,even in my own garden), panic attacks...
The third year was different and more bearable but I began to have physical symptoms(Ataxia, pseudo-Parkinson,muscular weakness:I cannot hold a cup of coffee in my left hand...).
The fourth year brought me real psychical improvements but I am still suffering from physical problems which will probably be the last ones to go away.
Severe anxiety since childhood .SSRIs for OCD.
Major traumatism in my life:Prozac during short periods.
Deroxat (=Paxil) during 7 years.
Three unsuccessful atempts to quit.
Deroxat free since may 2008 (Cold turkey )
Cosette, if I may ask - those physical pains are more muscles or joints? I know it's basically all of it, but which is more prevailing?
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
Cosette, so nice to meet someone from France! It never ceases to amaze me the people on this poison from all over the world. By the way, I am not being sarcastic - my script comes with the words "issued under clasue 37 of the poisons act"!
You were very young, and that makes me sad and mad! It was bad enough for me being 40 but it still takes away a huge chunk of your life.
It is tragic that we were told lies and not informed, but worse that Drs. seem to reject the truth and listen to the lies they are fed. My latest/newest Dr. told me people don't have this trouble getting off (that I am having) and quite over a 2 month period. So I asked her directly "how many of these people do you know personally?" and she replied "well, none, really.."
I admire you for persevering, as I CT and lasted only 6mos and severe depression led me to previous Dr. who said I should stay on it for life and was not interested in helping me get off. That's why I have another "new" Dr. Keep persevering, you have your youth on your side and I should think you will recover much quicker than an older person (as I am now neary 60).
By the way, what is OCD?
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