my history

[grandmaD]

Sheila, your idea of being kind to ourselves is a good one I believe, I keep thinking how I can do this! It has made me re-think my plan for this year and the priorities I have placed for family and perhaps make myself more of a priority. I don't think any of us realise how crook we really are... or want to accept it....

You certainly make us think! Your idea of being compassionate with ourselves and talking to ourselves - especially during times of emotional stress that is out of control. I think it is a great idea, though I have to ditch what I was brought up with to believe from my mother that "talking to yourself is a sign of madness"! I think it is helpful for us to try and be more compassionate and kind to ourselves. There has to be a better way. I have tried to fight it and keep going, be strong, put up with it, grin and bear it and I have tried resignation, to just give in to it, but neither work!

Your ideas are very challenging, but I am going to give them a try!

[stan]

accept is one (often first) and try adapt is better

[Sheila]

Thanks for the appreciation, gD! ;)

I'm really glad and tickled that you are getting a new perspective on how to approach the recovery process! And I think it's super that you're so open to trying new things and experimenting.

What you've said and what other people wrote on your thread about cultivating kindness towards ourselves has made me think that there is an untapped opportunity here -- something we can brainstorm together about how to use more to help ourselves more.

[grandmaD]

I am keeping this thought in my mind each day now. Today we had 3 committments to keep and a 1 hour drive to get to them all. I decided to chose just 1, my priority instead of pushing myself just to please others. I encouraged hubby to go to the lunch committment while I lied in the car because he needs to get out and talk to others. I got home very tired, so glad that I did that and felt quite good about it!

[grandmaD]

Week 8 @ 6.6 summary

The Good
Walks – 6 days (20-30min)
No headaches
Weakness, tiredness, slowness and heaviness continue to improve slowly
Periods of low/lethargy the same
Head vibrations v. sl. improvement
No cramps/spasms
Aches and pains improved to mild
Itchies improved
No naseau; indigestion because my appetite returned and I ate cake
Vibrations – improvement
Batcave – improved

The Bad
Pressure heads sl. worse – mod to high at times with one day high most of day
Head banging/painful throbs now and then, mod intensity (same)
Legs, ankles and feet are bad to moderate, about the same
Tight chest and achey – goes with the breathlessness I suspect
Sore head – the same

The Ugly
Palpitations – huge increase (worst was in week 6)
Breathlessness – huge increase (to when it was its worst in weeks 4 & 5)

Sleep
1.5 hours to get to sleep and waking after 4 hours - improvement

Overall
The worst week for pressure heads (worse than last week) but better week for
thinking more clearly; getting more incentive; not as forgetful; bit more energy.
Some emotional issues and getting impatient and down about the length of process, but had more good days this week. Getting there…. Next week should see some improvement in the uglies …

[Luc]

It's definitely going well. Just keep it up!

[stan]

The Bad
Tight chest and achey – goes with the breathlessness I suspect

The Ugly
Palpitations – huge increase (worst was in week 6)
Breathlessness – huge increase (to when it was its worst in weeks 4 & 5)

these things i had many months, today just a tiny little bit

[Sheila]

Right on! Well done, gD, in balancing all your needs, and trying to take good care of yourself! I have done that – lain in the car when on an outing, to take a break from the stimulation and rest.

I’m sorry the pressure heads were so bad this week. Glad you’re feeling more clear.

[grandmaD]

I was so glad that I stayed in the car and only kept 1 committment. Next day I had a very very sore head and lots of head banging followed by a migraine and I was glad it was just for 1 day and not for 2 which might have been the case had I tried to do everything the day before. The following day I was a bit of a zombie and so I was kind to self and didn't even walk and took it easy and rested.

Today I am still not good, feeling low, slow and weak. I had a walk but my legs were strengthless when I got back and shaky. So now sitting to recoup. Fuzzy in the head and the sore head is now mild. Today the muscle cramps in various places, so I wonder if the muscles in the scalp cramp and that causes the migraines???

I checked out my notes for past week 9's and in the past have had from 1 to 3 migraines/tension headaches in that week, so I am doing better with just 1 (although the week is not over, I am believing there will be NO MORE!). I had really hoped I would be feeling a lot better sooner than usual (that is weeks 10-12) but looks like I am about th same as far as that goes and it isn't going to happen before then, so next week should see a lot more improvement... keep hoping .... and hanging in there and treading water.

[Luc]

Stay patient, GrandmaD. Despite all those nasty symptoms, you're bravely progressing in your taper - and that's what counts most. What's the temperture now in your neck of the woods? From experience I can say it may worsen the symptoms quite a bit.