For some time, I noticed others know rather well how they feel from day to day and I couldn't relate to that. So while we were away travelling in our van, I put the exhasut fan on, well it was actually when I turned it off I felt the "relief" and I realised that is how I feel - like the fan is on inside me all the time - without relief. So I put together this little story to describe how it is for me!
WHAT’S IT LIKE?

I find it very hard to describe how I feel, and was thinking about how I might describe it.

While in the caravan on our recent trip I was able to use the things around me to describe what it has been like in withdrawal.

I am in the caravan, so it is a very confined space.

The radio was on very low, about level 2. That would be me when I am speaking.

The heater, making a loud noise represents the vibrations in my body.

While I am cooking, I on put on the microwave. This would represent the buzzing and ringing in my ears.

Then I put on the exhaust fan. This is even louder and represents head pressure.

Then the smoke alarm goes off and this represents the ear ringing when it goes to levels 2 and 3.

Cooking makes me hot and this represents the hot flushes, so it is off with the cardigan and slippers.

Then my husband speaks to me and I have a great deal of trouble hearing him. It takes a good deal of effort trying to concentrate on what he is saying because of all the din going on in this confined space/inside of me.

It is also a great deal of effort for me to speak, because level 2 is drowned out by all the noise/symptoms.

I can’t wait to get into bed, but unfortunately although I have turned off the radio, microwave, alarm, fan and heater, I still have all the din going on inside of me! There is no getting away from it. I am dog tired and yet I lay there tossing and turning with RLS as well and racing thoughts for the next 2 hours.

The reason we went away in our van was to “get away from it all” for a bit of a distraction. I had not factored into it that I was going also and that it was myself I was trying to get away from!