Safe trip, Claudius!
Safe trip, Claudius!
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
Thanx guys, I am safely back from Leuven and we had 4 days of sunny weather! THe wave was with me all the time so this did a bit reduce my holiday feeling, but nevertheless I had a pretty good time. We enjoyed the Belgian beer, my appetite was a bit reduced by somer wave-induced nausea so I limited the Bourgondic meals.
So a good trip but a bit dissappointing that I felt pretty wavy and not much better than during a trip exaclty one year ago, in MAy 2011. But at the same time, I realizze that 2011 was overall a lot better year than 2010, woth some good programming projects. I am working from home now and have also got some extra financial support from social secority so my savings burn rate is much reduced now.
In about 4 months I will hit the 5 years mark and that is were I am longer off the drug than on it. But there is no liginc in WD and surely no golden rule that WD time is 1:1 related to use-of-drug time. I just realize that there sill is healing and I work on building a new personality (or better, get back to my genuine root-personality) and building the base for a new career.
Recovering from the ravages of withdrawal after 5 years on Paxil/Seroxat, originally prescribed for stress and, looking backward, PTSS.
Though it is hardly possible to get something positive from the utter hell of repeated c/t's and protracted w/d, all of this unnecessary, I still believe in the possiblity to emerge from this as a healed, wiser human being.
All we need is just a little patience - Guns N' Roses
Claudius -- you are sounding so mature and wise. I'm sorry the trip was somewhat impacted by w/d, but so glad you were able to still enjoy some of it.
We really can't compare this date to the same time last year, because one might have been in a window the same time last year and be in a wave today. But, you're doing the right thing in comparing the years overall.
That's great news about the financial issues.
Yeah, it's pretty rough how long this takes, but you're absolutely right to focus on building your self and / or re-finding your original, true self, and building the foundation for your new career.
You're just handling things so very well! It *is* happening. You *are* healing.
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
Some little update, I made another little holiday trip last weekend, probably the last one of the year due to financials. But I went with a friend to Maastricht, Netherlands and we made a trip to Liege/Luik in Belgium. I really enjoyed the trip although the wave was there too, merely in terms of the familiar neuro stuff.
In Liege we missed our last train back to Maastricht so we had to stay there, all hotels were full or too expensive so we dived into the night life of Liege. And I made it till the next morning, without alcohol and even talked to some nice girls :) Who unfortunately spoke only French and at 5 o'clock in the mprning I did not have so much energy anymore to have a conversation...
At 8 o'clock in the morning we were finally back in our hotel and went to bed till 2:00 in the afternoon :) I am proud I could make it while still in WD and see this as a sign of further healing again. I have still some nasty symptoms but I really hope they well vanish and I can really move on to a new job and a new life.
Recovering from the ravages of withdrawal after 5 years on Paxil/Seroxat, originally prescribed for stress and, looking backward, PTSS.
Though it is hardly possible to get something positive from the utter hell of repeated c/t's and protracted w/d, all of this unnecessary, I still believe in the possiblity to emerge from this as a healed, wiser human being.
All we need is just a little patience - Guns N' Roses
That's some incredible progress that you've made, Claudius. When I remember how much more difficult it was for you even a year ago, it becomes obvious that the healing is taking place. Imagine where you wil be a year from now! Also, the very fact that you're able to travel, even despite the still present neuroogical symptoms, is a feat in itself. If you don't mind my asking, apart from the physical stuff, how's the emotional side these days? Getting better, too? If you counted WD from the very day you took the last of pills, how far off are you now? It'd be close to 60 months, I guestimate? The complete healing is getting nearer and nearer...
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
I feel very happy for you, Claudius.You have already made huge progress and you are healing faster than in the beginning of your withdrawal.You give us hope and strength!
Severe anxiety since childhood .SSRIs for OCD.
Major traumatism in my life:Prozac during short periods.
Deroxat (=Paxil) during 7 years.
Three unsuccessful atempts to quit.
Deroxat free since may 2008 (Cold turkey )
Luc, my last dose of 10 mg was on 31 August 2007, WD hit exactly 6 weeks later, on 15 October 2007. So I am about 57 months in WD now.
My ruminations are a bit better now, I feel again a bit more comfortable in my body, but there still is the nasty neuro stuff. It used to be better and it will get better again. I know the healing is there :)
Recovering from the ravages of withdrawal after 5 years on Paxil/Seroxat, originally prescribed for stress and, looking backward, PTSS.
Though it is hardly possible to get something positive from the utter hell of repeated c/t's and protracted w/d, all of this unnecessary, I still believe in the possiblity to emerge from this as a healed, wiser human being.
All we need is just a little patience - Guns N' Roses
It's unbelievable how strange it sometimes gets. If I may have this one more question (I know it's painful to go back to this traumatic time), but did the symptoms appear all at once in your 6th week off, or more gradually?Originally Posted by Claudius
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
Suddenly out of the blue WD hit, one minute I felt perfectly well, 5 mintes later I was sick as a dog. And during most of my earlier WD attempts, it took also 6 weeks for WD to hit.
With one remarkable exception: one time in 2006 I tried to quit by taking 10 mg and 5 mg on alternating days, and then it took not 6 weeks but only 1 day to get equally sick.
Only recently I found a poosible explanation for that: after a Cold Turkey you get some kind of rebound effect, and maybe the priteins on the nerve cells can still function due to the residue meds with frees from fat or liver tissue. Or even from the brain cells itself, and thereby postpone the actual WD for some time.
But when dosing alternating, the brain is thrown into chaos immediately and therefore WD also hits instantly.
It is only speculating but this is how things went.
Recovering from the ravages of withdrawal after 5 years on Paxil/Seroxat, originally prescribed for stress and, looking backward, PTSS.
Though it is hardly possible to get something positive from the utter hell of repeated c/t's and protracted w/d, all of this unnecessary, I still believe in the possiblity to emerge from this as a healed, wiser human being.
All we need is just a little patience - Guns N' Roses
57 months off, the recovery moves very slowly forward, but essential is it moves!...
12 years paxil(9 years only 10 mg) - cold turkey(1,5 month) and switch celexa tapered 1 year 20 mg
62 years old - for GAD - 4 years 3 months meds free [since april 2009]
vegetables soup - orange (vit C) - curcuma - some meat or fish
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