4.5 years off Paxil/Seroxat and counting!

[Claudius]

LOL it keeps fascinating you... Bourgondic. I Googled it too and it appears to be no correct English word, but the meaning will be clear. It mostly refers to the life-style of people from the south of the Netherlands as well as Belgium, were enjoying good food and good beer and/or wine is a main target in life.
I skip the wine during the dinner to minimize the alcohol intake but cannot completely abandon the beer... maybe bad for the waves bit at least make me feel living again.
I look forwrd to the end of this wave, it is a bit bad now but can work nevertheless a few hours.
Amethyst is beautiful indeed, I think we must not overestimate their healing power (as a chemist and a scientist, I know that the molecular structire and the atomic vibrations are not measurable outside the stone without very sensitive and expensive hardware) but i DO believe the beauty of stones can help you focus on healing and touch damaged places in the body.

[stan]

i tried to drink, at an event, one or two glass of wine and i was ok, but i do not drink usually; i tried to drink beer, same;
beer = 5 °
wine = 10 °

instead to avoid wine, you can sometime drink one glass wine instead two glasses beer, same amount alcohol; if you tolerate as i, i think it will not make you worse;
of course not drink every day and much to not create a new addiction
i think it can make you healther
of course, you have to buy more natural wine a little more expensive as chemical basic classic(same for beer i do not much know)

[Sheila]

That's really good you're trying to buy more natural (organic) wine, Stan. I'm happy to see this trend away from pesticides and sulphites in viticulture.

[Luc]

At least I realize it is a wave...!

Exactly, Claudius. That helps a lot. Please, stay patient - I've been experiencing the almost identical these days, and once you'r in it, you think you're almost back to square one, but it's NOT true, we know it's NOT true. We must ride it out, get to the next stage of WD, and then to the next and the next. Stay patient!

[Claudius]

You are so right Luc, we just have to ride out the wave, reach for the next window and enter the next stage of WD. We have no choice, but after 4.5 years I desperately look for the end of WD. I am almost as long off the drug as I was on it, and together with the failed previous attempts I suffer now for about 7 years from this poison afer having felt the "therapeutic" feeling of ot for about 2 years...
I am still in the wave now although I almost literally feel my autonomic CNS rearrange to solve this wave... I hear the contractions while I write this! No better analogy than the famous Rubiks cube! The good part is that I can do my programming work which was absolutely impossible during the earlier waves! So there is healing anyway! I just hope I reach the end of WD before I reach the end of my savings which I have to burn now with about 1000 euro's each month to pay the rent of my appartment and the other financial obligations...

[Sheila]

I like this but what does it mean -- "I hear the contractions..." Sounds intriguing.

That's so great that you can now do things during waves that you couldn't do before.

That's how it goes for me, too. I can do more and more during waves than I could before. The healing *is* happening. But it's too slow!

I'm sorry you're having to go through yet another wave, and I hope it ends really soon.

<---- Claudius and me being Bourgondic....

[Claudius]

I mean that the spot under my left chest, were the torturous feelings orginate from (and even have some weird connection with the eye spasms!) is rearranging and I feel it when I emerge from a wave. Right now it happens too, and I can sometimes trigger this by lying on my back and meditate with my favorite meditation stone. It really moves inside, what exactly moves is not fully clear but it has immeidate effect on the electrical jolt feeling and the eye spasms. It is weird and no doctor will believe it, but I consider it as some kind of neurologic rearranging.

And I have included a picture of myself, taken last year in Germany, while being Bourgondic :)

[stan]

you don't seem programming or be in withdrawal with your glass beer!...
still some days and you will be fine...

[Claudius]

Uhh I realize too well that I do not look like an ill or debilltated person. And I have still a social life and can enjoy food and a good beer, but that does surely not mean that WD is over now... the picture is from one year ago and progression is still incredibly slow. Maybe I should remove the picture because it does not attribute to convince people that I am stil really sick.

[stan]

why remove? It is you one year ago;

what i want to say is if you see me in streets, if you do not see i cannot stand well and walk strange, friends told me we do not see i am so disabled, but i am really disabled physically and mentally with panic chest pains etc
many pains and dysautonomia are not visible;