Well its almost funny how we have causes and reactions in common!
Very strange, about 3 months in WD my ruminations began and I started to hallucinate about my former bully, a 21 year old sadistic guy who was a member of the student corps I joined as a 19 year old boy. For about one half year, I was convinced that these unprocessed memories were the CAUSE of my disease instead of a WD symptom. Because it was the most frightening I ever had to endure and I was almost completely mentally broken when I finally quit the membership of this club after 1.5 year of humiliation, threats and hissing in my ear I was worthlwess and should die.
I started EMDR therapy and though this was not very wise in WD, it did help me to deal with the memories and kept me off restarting. Strange enough, I saw restarting the meds as a kind of surrender to my bully! And that is also the reason I did not restart!
Now the ruminations are far less but I still cope with the fact my forst your on my own was a living hell due to this mean and sadistic guy and he never paid the price for it. In the darkest depths of WD I could only think about killing him and had made some serious plans in that direction... But in our country is it not easy to obtain a weapon and with my last remaining rationality I hesitated to set the steps fearing for the imprisonment if I would get caught...
At least I confronted him with it albeit in a dangerous way, I wrote a long article about what had happened and what he had done to me and put in on the internet with his full name in it (he has a pretty unique name) and took care for it that googling his name showed this artice in the first hit.... so everybody who has Googled him would read what happened. He even called me one time by phone to make his excuse although he never gaven any explanation for why he chose me as a victim while I was a shy but nice, polite and friendly guy.
I am proud to have quit the meds although it nearly costed me my life, I was and still am just not willing to be addicted for live. And you can be proud too to chose your path and not be guided by medical lies anymore.