The Recovery Will Happen - Luc's journal

[Luc]

To start something... you need to eventually start it. I've been thinking of writing my journal from time immemorial - here's still a shamingly rough draft thereof, but it's, at least, some starting point. The more strength I will be gathering, the more I'll be adding to it. So, here's the extremely condensed version of my SSRIs and benzo journey. I was on SSRIs and then benzodiazepnes for around 8 years, between 2001-2008. I went off of benzo (Xanax - 1 mg) in June 2008, and then off of Paxil (40 mg) in December 2008 - both cold turkey. The number and utter bizarrness of symptoms I've experienced since then escapes any words. For the reasons I may explain some time later on I had to work throughout all that time. Now, being 2 years and 8 months off of Paxil, I just shudder at the very thought of the indescribable hell I was living every single second in the earlier WD - having no choice but to pretend I'm a healthy professional in my job. And even though, as of late, I've been experiencing quite a nasty and prolonged wave, I still full-well realize that, on average, it's improved, and that at-some-point complete recovery will happen.

Though my dream of dreams is to just feel what most of SSRIs-not-wrought-havoc-upon people take for granted, that is normalcy, and I crave for being able to feel the feeling of "cannot-waitedness", when you have no anhedonia, and you're impatiently waiting for the pleasure of going for a walk, of meeting friends, of eating your favourite dish, of the coming of a new day, and of so many others, I still need to be patient, like are my friends here. The good news is that nature abhors vacuum - action vs reaction - after fighting WD tooth and nail and reclaiming our lives, we'll have learnt things we'd have most likely never learnt, hadn't it been for our... fighting WD tooth and nail. It's all laws of physics.

Thank you, Barbara, Sheila and Stan (in alphabetical order), for doing such an incredible work, for launching this site. It'll help so many folks.

[Sheila]

It’s good to hear the Looquian compound-word vocabulary again. :)

And it’s a very good sign that you’re able to crave specific things. You’re definitely going to get back to those things again.

[Luc]

Lots of bizzare things going on recently (body and mind-wise). I will soon write about them (and the ways of dealing with them) - it may help quite many of us in the future. Take care, everyone!

[Luc]

It's been rough lately, yet, as much of a "rough" there was in recent time, some things have happened life and WD-wise that left me with this one thought "at some point, the full healing will happen". And, at some point I will write about it in this very thread. You will all get your lives back. You will heal. There is no doubt about it.

[Luc]

In a very rough place these days, folks... Need your help... The WD (especially past traumas in high gear) + the wasps + the infection, so on. Too much to be able to deal with. If anybody was/is in a window these days/recently, telling me about the "window" feeling would be greatly appreciated, too. Hang in there, everyone!

[Cosette123]

In a very rough place these days, folks... Need your help... The WD (especially past traumas in high gear) + the wasps + the infection, so on. Too much to be able to deal with. If anybody was/is in a window these days/recently, telling me about the "window" feeling would be greatly appreciated, too. Hang in there, everyone!

Oh my friend I am too in a rough place but I want to tell you how much I can understand you(And everybody here). Better days will come and we must believe it!

[Sheila]

I'm so glad you asked for help. And, of course, I'm so sorry you're in such a very rough place.

Although I'm not in a window right now, I'm OK-ish. But, I want to tell you that I have been through some particularly long, scary waves, and they *always* ended. There have been times in w/d when I was really scared that I would not survive, or that my life would go from bad to much worse. But those especially rough waves always, always came to an end. And I haven't felt like that for a long time. I don't know how long, maybe years.

Good for you for reaching out for help. That's a very good sign of your self-love and life force. And it's a healing thing you're doing for yourself.

This bad time will definitely, definitely end. You have so much going for you. And so much to look forward to in your life. And, as you know, it's even the case that really good things will come out of this process -- because of Luc's Law of Compensation.

[stan]

a few weeks ago i had high "fibromyalgia" pain, it has lessened, recently i had a return of high "akathisia", it has lessened but still here, today i have pelvis right pain and severe ribcage/spinal pain (it is not as high as it was before), i do not know if it will be worse, but what i know is or it will be worse or it will lessen, but 90% go away in a few hours or days; and a new symptom will dominate a while and let his place to another symptoms;
with time i feel more natural in pain, less fogged; read what Cindy wrote for my akathisia, she explains how it works in time before healing;

[stan]

Luc, i am sure you will be 70%/80% better and i also, it is only a matter of time; we have held 2,5/3 years (the most critical); we are not far from turning the corner, all testimonies show it; hang on, we are close to live again a new life;

[m&m]

Luc, i am sure you will be 70%/80% better and i also, it is only a matter of time; we have held 2,5/3 years (the most critical); we are not far from turning the corner, all testimonies show it; hang on, we are close to live again a new life;

No Stan... you guys will be 110% better!

I still shutter when I think of the really bad days, but you know what it is getting better for me (8 months out).

Praying healing for each and everyone suffering from the destruction these meds have caused.

Matthew 21:22 "And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” Don't give up on the brink of a miracle. It will happen.