Angies withdrawhell journal

[angie007]

Hi All,

Firstly can i say thank you to Stan who i spoke with on saturday night, without him i wouldnt know that this brilliant site existed.
This is my first post here, so id like to say hi to you all, and thank every one involved in creating this great website, and from what iv read, it is a brilliant informative website.
For those who dont know me, Im Anjopom from paxil progress and Angie 007 from Surviving Antidepressants.
I used Paxil ( seroxat) for 14 years and 4 months and finally got off after weighing and shaving the tab, the tapering process took me a long brutal 56months, with many horrific, scary,
terrifying symptoms, Im coming up now to almost 12months off on the 11th May this year.

I will talk more about my symptoms in another thread.
For now, i would like to ask you all for some hand holding and some advice, i think reassurance is paramount when suffering to the extent we have all had to.
I have a particular issue that has cropped up over the last couple of days which unnerves me a little if im honest, my weekend has been one of stress, it has become obvious that my husband
has some depression and does have some health anxiety too, he is withdrawn and seldom speaks , which creates quite an uncomfortable atmosphere, yesterday i was quite low and naturally the
depression and tearyness were present, today i woke up with some strange weird head sensations, not pain but uncomfortable none the less, this revved up the anxiety, and these
" sensations in my head" mentally had me terrified of STROKES would you believe.
Can anyone else relate to these weird head sensations, i find any symptom in wd very hard to describe as theyre all pretty abnormal to be honest!!!!!!!!!

Apart fro the above symptom which is relatively new, i have to say that the last 4 months have been pretty good on the whole, with less intense anxiety, sometimes not even evident.

[Barbara]

Hi Angie,

Yes, we all owe that guy Stan a lot. I'm so glad you and Stan were able to connect and you found out about our site. Good to have you on board. It is fantastic to hear that you have now been off paxill for 12 months. It sounds like an incredible journey in all, and how impressive that you have never given up.

It is so good to hear that the last 4 months have given you some relief and that your anxiety has decreased and even at times is not evident.


Wishing you continued healing,

Barbara

[stan]

If you had a stroke : A stroke, also known as a cerebrovascular accident (CVA), is the rapid loss of brain function(s) due to disturbance in the blood supply to the brain. It is sudden.
So you have maybe anxiety and new nerves brain paths which are trying to connect, this gives kind of shocks, bizarre feelings; i experience it; and the same in thinking, feeling mad, it is healing i think;
there is an alteration of skin, artery, veins, during paxil, and after off, but more time passes, more they are stronger again;

[Sheila]

Welcome, Angie!

I’m really glad to hear the last four months have been pretty good on the whole. You did such a patient taper, that I have hoped that you would really reap a huge benefit from that.

I definitely think your head sensations are harmless. It sounds like they’re the result of interpersonal stress triggering neurological reactivity. But, it’s just sensations, nothing dangerous.

Throughout my post-taper, I sometimes get neuro-angry -- that is, real psychological anger multiplied by 1000 because of neuro reactivity, or sometimes seemingly pure neuro anger that really doesn’t seem to be about anything. Anyway, whenever I get neuro-angry, I feel like I’m going to have a stroke. I feel like something is going to pop in my head, or my whole head is going to explode. It passes as soon as I am calmer.

Also, I noticed from years of reading on pp, that some people have a lot more head / brain sensations in w/d than others. People describe all sorts of different sensations ranging from lightly weird to intensely uncomfortable. But, this all evaporates as people heal.

[angie007]

Thank God for you Guys here, I am so so relieved to hear others have the same weird sensations, and Sheila !!! you are bang on the button, it lasted most of Monday for me, and yes i freaked which likely made it last longer and appear worse, Today Tuesday i got up early and have been out all day, although my sleep hasnt been the best the last couple of days, I thank the LORD that those head sensations have not been present today.

Thank you all for your support, means so much, and i hope no one here minds, but I have passed on this we address to a couple of others who really need your advice and guidance too.

[Sheila]

I'm glad the head sensations have let up.

Yes, of course, please feel free to invite people to join IAWP. And thank you.

If you invite someone, you might want to emphasize that our mission is to provide general support for psych med w/d like other similar sites, however, we also have a unique twist -- we want to actively encourage w/d survivors to discover and pursue their true passions. We believe this may be the most powerful thing you can do to recover from these toxic meds. This focus makes us a little different from the other sites.

Also, we are particularly interested in cultivating an international community.

[angie007]

Well guys, tuesday was a better day, wednesday was perfect ..........until the evening, when i felt this uncomfortable feeling of excitement in my head, i went out to play darts and norm ally feelings like that would have had me running for home, but i decided to stay and see the night through.
Woke up this morning wiuth the same excitement in my head, and it hasnt let up all day, its made me pretty emotional and teary.
can anyone else associate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Luc]

Hey, Angie! Welcome to IAWP. It's a belated welcome on my part - have had some rougher time recently. All the sensations you're describing are so WD. It still may take some time before it's disappeared once and for all, but it will eventually happen. Absolutely no doubt about it.

[Sheila]

I certainly know what it feels like to feel emotional and teary! And, I think I know what you mean by uncomfortable excitement in your head, but I’m not sure. Is it a feeling of over-stimulation? Like it’s too busy in your head? Kind of like you’re at a fair and your tired, but there’s still a lot going on around you anyway – hawkers, and smells, and sights, and people brushing against you and moving – and you can hardly tolerate it, much less make sense of it???

If so, oh yes, I know this feeling!

[angie007]

Aw Guys ,
Thank you so much for your replies, this last week has been " not the best! if im honest, it started with the weird head feelings, Sheila you have the
perfect description, how i can associate so well, then Sunday evening, oh boy something happened that im deeply ashamed of, i woke in the night to
a wet bed, never in my life can I ever remember doing such a disgusting thing, I was that upset, i hid it from my husband, waited until he went to work to strip the entire bed and bleach the rubber sheet. I spent Monday washing and ironing and crying, I am so disgusted
with myself, Tuesday and Wednesday was anxiety to some extent and low low mood, been waking up in the morning emotional and crying, then today back of head and neck pain and teary this morning too.

Im at 11months out from Paxil ( SeroxAT) maybe just a bad wave at a particularly difficult time in wd - i dont know, but the crazy mental irrational
thoughts, almost always centred around death and dying is pretty scary , in my head i mentally feel like im going insane sometimes, if anyone can
associate and I hope someone can I really do. The feelings of hopelessness from earlier in wd i thought had passed, until this last week, but I honestly feel Mondays accident played a massive part in my feelings this week.