Lotty's Withdrawal

[Sheila]

I’m sorry to hear about you having to stop working, Lotty. You have a lot of company on that. It’s a very hard thing to go through. Eventually, you *will* either return to the same work if you love it, or move on to work you love more.

Akathisia is the worst. It’s just terrifying and so hard. Try to remember it’s only miserable, it’s not really dangerous.

That’s excellent that you are walking, and that you have some beautiful nature to walk in. You’ve probably read some of the recent writing about how very therapeutic trees are.

If you ever decide to try magnesium, probably it would be best to wait until you feel it’s the right time, and then to start with a very small dose, like 25 mg.

Why are you so thin? Are you nauseous? Can you digest food?

Don't worry about being different, Lotty. Even though there are some patterns, and some of us form little cohorts of similar symptom profiles, the fact is, each of us is utterly unique in our experience of this ordeal, and we each have to come up with our own best (not perfect, goodness knows....) concoction of strategies!

< ------ individual concoction

[Lotty]

I’m sorry to hear about you having to stop working, Lotty. You have a lot of company on that. It’s a very hard thing to go through. Eventually, you *will* either return to the same work if you love it, or move on to work you love more.

Akathisia is the worst. It’s just terrifying and so hard. Try to remember it’s only miserable, it’s not really dangerous.

That’s excellent that you are walking, and that you have some beautiful nature to walk in. You’ve probably read some of the recent writing about how very therapeutic trees are.

If you ever decide to try magnesium, probably it would be best to wait until you feel it’s the right time, and then to start with a very small dose, like 25 mg.

Why are you so thin? Are you nauseous? Can you digest food?

Don't worry about being different, Lotty. Even though there are some patterns, and some of us form little cohorts of similar symptom profiles, the fact is, each of us is utterly unique in our experience of this ordeal, and we each have to come up with our own best (not perfect, goodness knows....) concoction of strategies!

< ------ individual concoction

Again, Sheila, thank you for investing time in me and for your kindness.

Yes, I am so thin because I am suffering from extreme nausea and aversion to food. I try my best and supplement with Complan (maybe similar to Ensure in the US) but it almost seems as if the weight just burns off regardless. I haven't been vomiting as yet, but diarrhea is a problem.

Much love and healing,
Lotty
xxx

[Sheila]

Oh, gee, I’m sorry to hear about the nausea and diarrhea. What an ordeal.

I have concerns about Ensure-type products, although a quick Google suggests that Complan is less chemically than Ensure. If, and only if, you’re interested, Gianna just wrote a good summary of the problems on her blog --

http://beyondmeds.com/2012/04/02/ensure/

On the other hand, if Complan is the only thing you can tolerate, then I totally understand and support the need to use it. We all have to make the best of this impossible situation. There are no perfect solutions.

What have you tried for nausea? Does anything work a bit? What definitely does not work?

I’ve had diarrhea or loose stool for the entire time. It’s a drag, but the real concern I have is whether I’m getting the benefit of the food and supplements I’m eating.

Also, you probably know this, but if you’re having a serious problem with diarrhea, then you may have to wait on the magnesium idea anyway, although there are versions which are less bowel-loosening.

Are you a vegetarian?

You’re gonna get through this Lotty, even if there is no way we can tweak your healing strategies for the better yet! And, later, you’ll have more options.

[Luc]

Lotty, I feel your pain, especially your inability to eat much. Though I still experience lack of appetite, and do not feel much taste when eating, it's undoubtedly much better than in the past. And I'm a double c/t person, so, if someone like me manages to keep improving, there's a good chance you will be healing faster than me. Also, the gastrointestinal problems will keep improving, too.

[Lotty]

Oh, gee, I’m sorry to hear about the nausea and diarrhea. What an ordeal.

I have concerns about Ensure-type products, although a quick Google suggests that Complan is less chemically than Ensure. If, and only if, you’re interested, Gianna just wrote a good summary of the problems on her blog --

http://beyondmeds.com/2012/04/02/ensure/

On the other hand, if Complan is the only thing you can tolerate, then I totally understand and support the need to use it. We all have to make the best of this impossible situation. There are no perfect solutions.

What have you tried for nausea? Does anything work a bit? What definitely does not work?

I’ve had diarrhea or loose stool for the entire time. It’s a drag, but the real concern I have is whether I’m getting the benefit of the food and supplements I’m eating.

Also, you probably know this, but if you’re having a serious problem with diarrhea, then you may have to wait on the magnesium idea anyway, although there are versions which are less bowel-loosening.

Are you a vegetarian?

You’re gonna get through this Lotty, even if there is no way we can tweak your healing strategies for the better yet! And, later, you’ll have more options.

Big hug to you dear Sheila.

Hmmm, food for thought on the Complan, I guess one positive is that it's a powder so I add my own (organic) milk to it.

I am not a vegetarian but don't eat/like much meat at all. Chicken and steak mince is all I get in the meat department.

I have not done anything for the nausea, I have so many symptoms I'm often too debilitated to consider it.....I guess fresh ginger would be a suggestion?

Much love,
Lotty
xxxxx

[Luc]

I have not done anything for the nausea, I have so many symptoms I'm often too debilitated to consider it.....I guess fresh ginger would be a suggestion?

There are quite many folks who say that ginger works for them. Let us see if anybody on IAWP tried it and it found it helpful.

[Lotty]

There are quite many folks who say that ginger works for them. Let us see if anybody on IAWP tried it and it found it helpful.

Thank you Luc. xxxxx
Did you have any problems eating?
I have to literally force it down, thank god it stays down (for the moment).

Did I ever tell you how wonderful you all are? Truly special people here. I can really feel the warmth and compassion. It's beautiful.

Love,
Lotty
xxxx

[Luc]

Did you have any problems eating?

It was, to put it honestly, nothing short of atrocious hell. Though still, no matter what words I would use to describe it, none of them would do it any justice, I guess. It was a mix of mind-boggling akathisia, terror, psychosis, and tens of more. I really have no idea how I was able to eat anything back then, but I, somehow, ate. Sometimes I pushed myself to eat, sometimes I gave up. The worst of all was when I went (or rather *tried*) to go to sleep hungry; when this feeling of hunger would violently keep snatching me out of my semi-sleep to experience the mix of the burning and cramps in my stomach, and my entire nervous system and every cell of my body being on fire. It felt like somebody had injected me with acid. So, on top of 24/7 akathisia, I would, at night, get stuck between the feeling of hunger mixed with the body and mind snatching terror and the total inability to eat.

I'm writing about it, Lotty, to assure you that, even in the worst of circumstances, progress ALWAYS happens. It really has improved for me a lot. And even though I may still have some way to go, I appreciate what I have. Also, when I was describing for you this early WD of mine, I so fully realized (as probably never before) how much better it is now for me. So, by asking me this question, you helped me a lot.

You, too, will be improving. There's also a good chance you may (apart from the overall healing) be in for experiencing windows - those moments when many symptoms abate. This helps a lot from a psychological point of view.

[stan]

how i resolve my eating problem in withdrawal as i was eating nothing and become thin:
i buy artificial dry soup, i add one liter water, add some paste and small cut meat , and a real onion cut in small, a few months later i add carrots pieces cut;
my diarrhea slowly diminished, but i had and have bowels(i think muscles) problem until today, they are manageable;
because i have many muscles problems all over the body i think

[Sheila]

I can remember being so sick that I didn’t have time, energy, focus to try any strategies to help half the symptoms. It’s a process, that’s for sure!

Early in my post-taper, I went through a phase of zero appetite, but I made myself eat for the nutrition. That’s why we want to see if it’s possible to minimize your nausea – the nutrition in important for healing.

Also, eating *can be* very grounding for anxiety. Of course, in poor Luc’s case, that was not true in his early w/d. But, in my case, food has always grounded me, before meds, and since meds.

I have had mild nausea sporadically in w/d. It hasn’t been one of my bigger symptoms. This is what has worked for me or others –

Ginger – crystallized, or fresh in hot water, or powdered in tea bags.
Peppermint – tea, candy, enteric-coated pills
Baking soda – ½ t in an inch of warm water
Alka-Seltzer
Angostura bitters

Another trick is to eat small amounts frequently, and not sit down to a regular meal.

What’s your favorite food?