Lotty's Withdrawal

[stan]

Hello my dear Stan

Are you saying that at 6mg you were very very bad?
And are you also saying not to reduce the xanax, keep the same dose?

*Hugs*
Lotty

i was very worse at 6, 4, 2 mg; i had to reinstate one or two mg (to not lose my efforts from 10 months); it has not helped me i think, psychologically maybe, i had to do it, and this has worked for me, it was essential
for xanax, you have to take your dose regularly until many months, do not change nothing(remember our poor Pokie who was as long as we, with a 5% taper, had sleep problems, and register at benzobuddies to follow ashton for klonopin or(i do no more remember); i knew in her case it was high risk because she was at 5 mg paxil; do not underestimate the power of these poison;

when paxil will be finished and after several months, then it will be reasonable to study the xanax

the problem is when you change, all seems ok, and then suddenly the hell fall over you, and there it is too late,
suffer paxil is a heavy road for body, adding xanax withdrawal is mad and high risk
keep in mind you are a long term taken, the history of people who have taken 4 years is another world, it is not yours
brain does not like changes,

it is not to afraid, it is to be careful

[Lotty]

Oh Stan, I know...Pokie. I won't lie and admit that it's been playing on my mind, I think about her all the time. The only difference between myself and her is that she didn't suffer the entire way through the taper: she hit massive problems at 6mg. I have suffered all the way through.
But I will NOT make any massive changes to my xanax. I believe she crossed to valium from klonopin and also updosed to 10mg paxil.
I know you are not reminding me to make me afraid, but I AM afraid.

[Luc]

I'm with Stan on that one, Lotty. The further away from these drugs, the better. I have hardly survived my 2X c/t (one of them was a benzo WD). Both are hell. Try holding onto what you are taking now. Do not add any more stuff into the mix. EACH and EVERY of us has an incredible resilience, even if sometimes hidden so deep inside, we don't know about its existence until it's needed at the darkest hour. It's going to be ok. Minute after minute, hour after hour. And, from time to time look back, look at how far you've already gotten.

[Sheila]

Lotty – Your life is going to change so much. You can’t even imagine how good it is going to get. The chemical straitjacket you are currently in limits your freedom to think and feel more truly. You *will* be able to digest well even unpleasant life events. You *will* get off the meds and heal from them.

You are going to feel so differently in the future than you feel now. You just have to take the steps between now and that future – and that is what you are doing.

[grandmaD]

Hi my friends,

. She is 81 years old so I am not under the illusion that she will live for ever, but in heavy w/d, something like this makes you just feel like you are really going to go over the edge.

I lost my father too when I was at 16.5mg (a year ago). Sometimes I feel as if I can only grieve for him when the w/d symptoms wane a bit....it's strange, like the body can't do w/d and grief at once. My withdrawal has gotten a whole lot worse since then.

How do people survive this? It's hard for the most stable of people, but for us? When we are battling just to hold on to our own lives, to have to cope with these sorts of things as well?

Please help me today guys.
Lotty
xxxx

Hi Lotty,
I am so sorry to hear about your mum - I also said what you said "under no illusion ...." before my dad died recently, but when the time comes, it still hurts badly and the reality was that I was under the illusion he would live forever! I always thought 81 (that's how old my dad was too) was old, but even if our mum or dad died at 100 it would still be to0 young and hard to bear.

I am also sad you lost your mum just last year! This is so much to bear for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I think it is weird, like you said the body cannot cope with grief an w/d together. I cried a bit when dad died, but I thought I would be a mess for weeks. It wa like I was "over it already" the day after the funeral - but then "bang" today out of nowhere I got a bit weepy looking at photos I had not seen of him just 2 weeks beforehand.

I am sure you will find the strength to cope, I am amazed a some of the things I have been able to cope with! Take care x

[grandmaD]

oh, wow, you all remember Pokie also! I cannot forget her. Never knew her, only thru pp yet I was severely hit hard by what happened. I too, often think about her... It helps me to understand, like Stan said how powerful this drug is. I now have a motto when I feel really down and think about P and that is "I will wait until tomorrow to see how I feel about this" and it WORKS. I think the powerful accomplice to suicide is panic. I have to now check with myself "is this just a panic thing?"

Has someone suggested not to taper any further until you get through the crisis with your mum? That's what I would do, anyway. Do you plan to visit her?

[Sheila]

gD -- Yes, you put your finger on a crucial point -- suicide can come out of panic, and related to that, the belief that things won't change, that you'll never feel differently. These are total illusions, but they feel so true in the moment.

I think Pokie would be *very* glad that people are using her sad story to protect and care for themselves even better! She was a very caring, generous person.

[Sheila]

Thinking of you, Lotty. How are you doing? What has been happening?

[grandmaD]

Maybe she has gone to Italy??????

[Luc]

Quantum Entanglement... Remember, Lotty... We're with you...