An Unexpected Gift

[Barbara]

Hi Mike,

It was great to see your post on IAWP and read about your current struggles and achievements. I have followed your story for several years through Sheila. Nice to “meet” you at last.

Also, it is so very helpful for others in different stages of WD to here about the process you have been going through at this time. I’m so sorry it has been so hard for your for so long.

It's so interesting to hear you had been "reaching out a whole lot in prayer" and that this all feels like an "unexpected gift."* I really try to do the same thing in my life -- show up (the way you did by trying to take the next step on exercising), ask for help from the universe, and then try to stay really open to what comes in.

Looking forward to hearing your updates in the future. "Bikes forever"

[Cosette123]

Thank you so much for your update,Mike!
It brings hope for people who still are in the depth of Withdrawal.
I am now 4 years off Paxil, I passed through hell and sometimes I lost hope but unexpectedly (I am not sure of the right word:I mean "in an unexpected way) I am now sure I have healed and that the worse is behind me, even if I still have some progress to be done.

[Cindy]

Thanks, Cindy and congratulations on the recognition you've received in your art class! That's so great that you've set up a home studio... You should really run with your art and see what you can do with it! Here's to getting lost... Please drop me a line sometime and let me know how life is going for you...

Thanks, Mike! I will drop you a line soon!

[Mike]

Hi Mike,

It was great to see your post on IAWP and read about your current struggles and achievements. I have followed your story for several years through Sheila. Nice to “meet” you at last.

Also, it is so very helpful for others in different stages of WD to here about the process you have been going through at this time. I’m so sorry it has been so hard for your for so long.

It's so interesting to hear you had been "reaching out a whole lot in prayer" and that this all feels like an "unexpected gift."* I really try to do the same thing in my life -- show up (the way you did by trying to take the next step on exercising), ask for help from the universe, and then try to stay really open to what comes in.

Looking forward to hearing your updates in the future. "Bikes forever"

Hi, Barbara-

Nice to meet finally meet you too :) Thanks for your kind words. I agree there is more possibility in joining the flow of life and being open to anything rather than rigidly expecting what we've ordered...

http://youtu.be/00anTSbqKI4

Bikes Forever,

Mike

[Mike]

That's great news, Cossette! How bad did it get for you, what were your symptoms, and what has improved for you? Here's wishing you continued healing.

Thanks,

Mike

[Luc]

Mike, if you happened to read this thread, one question; what symptoms are still most conspicuous for you? Are they more physical or emotional? Of course, if you didn't feel comfortable to talk about them, please disregard this question altogether. I totally understand it. All is cool. :)

[Mike]

Mike, if you happened to read this thread, one question; what symptoms are still most conspicuous for you? Are they more physical or emotional? Of course, if you didn't feel comfortable to talk about them, please disregard this question altogether. I totally understand it. All is cool. :)

Luc--

It's always been a mix of emotional, psychological, cognitive, and physical symptoms for me and I am still experiencing symptoms in all of these areas. The derealization was greatly improved by 13 months. The severe mood swings were mostly gone by about 3 years. The OCD I acquired became manageable by about 3-4 years. The severe free floating anxiety was greatly improved by 4 years... I've had slow improvement with my cognition but there's still a long ways to go. I've had slow and steady improvement with fatigue... Also, continued improvement with stress tolerance. However, there's been very little improvement with my hearing sensitivities and other sensory sensitivities. One recent development is that about 6 months ago I realized how distorted and paranoid my thinking had been and how much clearer it is now. This just lifted on it's own with little work from me... It's hard to make sense of it all but things are moving in the right direction. The Rubik's cube keeps on spinning...

[Sheila]

One recent development is that about 6 months ago I realized how distorted and paranoid my thinking had been and how much clearer it is now. This just lifted on it's own with little work from me...

This is a very helpful reminder to all of us. I've had this happen. Some of the newfound clarity remains with me, but some goes away again. But when you get one of these spontaneous clearings, it's really educational. You realize how distorted and paranoid your thinking has been -- more than you even realized.

So, I think this applies to most of us. It's related to the "neuro-emotion" idea. During psych med neuro recovery, you just have to take your own assessment of things with a grain of salt until you get better. And you will get better. But, meanwhile, you just can't completely trust your own interpretation of things. It's a helluva way to have to live.

<< my slightly more sane self telling my regressed self to be quiet

[Mike]

It's related to the "neuro-emotion" idea. During psych med neuro recovery, you just have to take your own assessment of things with a grain of salt until you get better. And you will get better. But, meanwhile, you just can't completely trust your own interpretation of things. It's a helluva way to have to live.

I agree with all of the above and I am just so glad that I didn't react to most of the distorted thinking that I had. At times I even had that mantra going "don't react, don't react..." With interpersonal issues I had this primal need to express myself but I also knew that if I did that I couldn't handle the fall out so I kept it to myself. My thinking does slip now and then but it's only in the heat of the moment and it's easy to bring myself back to reality. It's also nice not to be ruminating for hours on end.

[Luc]

I agree with all of the above and I am just so glad that I didn't react to most of the distorted thinking that I had. At times I even had that mantra going "don't react, don't react..." With interpersonal issues I had this primal need to express myself but I also knew that if I did that I couldn't handle the fall out so I kept it to myself. My thinking does slip now and then but it's only in the heat of the moment and it's easy to bring myself back to reality. It's also nice not to be ruminating for hours on end.

Spot on. The exact same here. In my case, sharing 99% of thoughts, even with my family, is absolutely out of the question - the very mentioning it would only result in a severe augmentation of paranoia/ruminations. Yet, at times when it's possible to share at least a bit of them, I do it, even if in a form of an emotive explanation - "darn, it hurts so much, enough of this crap", etc. Thus it helps to, at least, vent a tiny bit.