Samsara's AD WD Journey

[Samsara]

Luc,

I added a section in my post to you but the system timed out and thus, my edit didn't take. :(

At some point, when we're all healed, those journeys of ours will keep people motivated in their fight - they will be able to see the healing process in others week after week, month after month, until each of the Journal starters "feels complete".

So very true. I wish to add .........Bless all those who have walked before us for without them we would not be making it through our journeys. So, it's important for us to do the same for the reasons you have articulated.

Thank you again for encouraging my attempts to do this journal thing. I'm still not very comfortable doing so but as the saying goes, "practice makes perfect". (lol) and /or one cannot rise above a fear until one faces the fear.

Here's to fearlessness!


Samsara

[Sheila]

We are all becoming spiritually refined, approaching the "ascent" experience. Let's hope the ascent goes on and on and on. :)

....To Our Ascension. We won't have to climb. It won't be a test of tolerance and endurance that requires strength. Rather, once we are recovered we will FLOAT into the ascension experience. Life will feel light and effortless. Like walking and/or sitting on a cloud. Oh, how I love the image of a soft, puffy white cloud. :)

I really believe this!

[stan]

Thank you so much for your positive encouragement and validation Sheila. I actually felt quite sick for about two hours after I posted my journal stuff (lol). I laugh but I'm not kidding. In any case, I think I needed to do break into new territory. :)
Samsara

it is chemical emotion, with time it diminish, i had it very strong, and with time am able to be less sensitive, this is something which has improved

time makes all the work, as we all know!!!!

[Samsara]

I really believe this!

We will really believe this together then. :)

[Samsara]

it is chemical emotion, with time it diminish, i had it very strong, and with time am able to be less sensitive, this is something which has improved

time makes all the work, as we all know!!!!

It certainly is chemical emotion Stan. It's ridiculous just how a minor stressor can feel so much more threatening than what it normally would.

Thanks for sharing regarding your improvements in this area. I'm happy for you!

With all that said, I have improved thought since, I could not even think of starting a journal 6 months ago. Just the thought alone ignited my F&F response. So, at least at this stage of WD I can more easily challenge the fear and push myself to move into it even though it does produce some negative physical effects, the effects are far less profound than 6 months ago.



Samsara

[Samsara]

Hi Everyone.......

I'm in really bad shape here and I'm scared. I'm having a hard time typing but here's the thing:

I had a root canal done some time ago which landed up not going well. I've had 3 more procedures since, the first and this last one............I felt okish the first 2 days (the post procedure pain was subsiding) but on the 4th day pain increase and now on the 6th day even worse. I've been taking NSAIDS but I haven't slept hardly for 2 days and my CNS is going into overdrive.

I think I have an infection in the tooth........don't believe they cleaned out the canals properly but I'm terrified to go back to the dentist. IN fact, I refuse to see the dentist that has doing the work.

I'm all alone and I"m so utterly sick..........body shaking, teeth chattering, shivers, sweats, violent wrenching and vomiting, anxiety. Dentists offices are closed on sunday and the only dentist that is on-call for emergency is known to be a butcher.

I'm going to call a dentist in the morning but I have no idea how I will drive myself there. Please, please everyone.......I truly need to some "sending positive, healing, protective energy" etc. Please, keep me in your thoughts and pray that another round of antibiotics will clear the infection and that my next procedure goes better than the previous ones.

The pain is in my tooth, right side of my head and radiates to upper front teeth and lower teeth.

I've been in severe terror and trauma all night. The last time I had the same infection (2 months ago) my CNS didn't react this way. I don't know if its a cummulative trauma effect that is shooting my CNS into a bad state now because it's had way too much for 2 months now with on-going procedures and dental pain.

I did a search on the subject and there are a lot of horror stories which of course shot me into bad states but I am trying to logically tell myself that the antibiotic will help as soon as I get it and then I pray to god that the other dentist can clean out the canals adequately.

Sorry if I"m not making sense. Please keep my in your thoughts. I'm not sure I'lll be able to respond to since, it's taking everything I have to type this out and I'm going to have to log off because I'm feeling big wave of violent nausea coming on.

Thank you all!


Samsara

PS...........please send positive healing energy to get my system to calm down within the next few hours and for the evening. Maybe if I know that I'm not alone in spirit it "may" help some.

[Samsara]

forgot to mention: I"m NOT taking the NSAIDS on an empty stomach. I make sure I have enough food although it's been hard eating but I force myself since, I don't wish to deal with hypoglycemia.

[Samsara]

BTW, I'm using much logic to try to calm myself down now. I don't feel terrified, panic and as traumatized ATMas I was yesterday and last night re: having to undergo another procedure but my body is not following suit. I'm deep breathing and pounding my mind with reassuring thoughts but being alone makes things worse I think. There is no one I can call who would be of any comfort so that's not an option.

I believe my subconscious mind is supremely traumatized. but I'm telling myself "keep calm.....think rationally and take one step at at time". I am very fearful about making the call to the dentist tomorrow but I keep telling myself that I've done it before and I"ll do it again. It's going to be hard telling the one dentist that I want the other dentist to work on my root canal. This is causing me distress but logically I know I cannot allow him anywhere near my tooth from this point forward. The other dentist is my regular dentist and the only reason I had this other guy was because my dentist was on holidays over the xmas season.


I can handle all the other symptoms but the violent heaves are something that immobilizes me. I've taken some ginger a few times but I can't take it at the same time as the NSAIDS since, it will be too hard on my stomach. As soon as I try to lie down, my body goes into shivers, agitation and the heaving starts even when lying down. I've taken a few baths to try to calm my system down but the second I get out of the tub......it all starts. Also, I can't stay in the tub long because I'm also dealing with body heat that alternates with shivers.

I used the heating pad in bed to warm my knees and feet but as soon as I do this my upper body goes into shivers.


If anyone has any suggestions I would much appreciate.

BTW, I also tell myself that I got through violent, unrelenting WD alone at home and I can deal with this latest thing but the thing is, I don't get to control the root canal procedure and so many things can go wrong (as I found out but I'm trying to block those stories from of my mind and I"m also reminding myself that I can always get the tooth pulled which will be a breeze compared to these repeated root canals and tooth infections. However, I really don't want to lose this tooth since, it's my last molar and there is not way to bridge this loss.

Please forgive the ramblings here but I wanted to add these things so people are not spending time suggesting things that I'm already implementing


Samsara

[Barbara]

Samsara,

I’m glad you have posted to share with us how you are doing during this particularly difficult time. Im very sorry to hear that you have been experiencing so much pain and discomfort with your teeth.

I will be thinking of you and sending you energy and strength to heel and get the help that you need. Like you said, you have been through worse situations at times during WD and you will be able to move through this hardship too.

Please let us know how things go tomorrow and how you are doing. We are with you and hoping for the best for you at this time.

[stan]

My dear Samsara,

i understand all this, having difficulties in bed (1,5 hour slept this night, so next have to be better), we have so much lived this nightmare, you will arrive to resist a day more, it will be really better soon, maybe in close coming months, you are 33 months and i 34+, testimonies are here; improving 2% per month, but improving...we have made a so long path, we have to find the light