really need advice about this

[Moui]

I tried looking about this pgad thing but the forum had a membership fee.. there's not a lot about it.
You've had those windows, during them did you still have this? Stay the course..hold the dose till Christmas with me like you said. Don't do anything rash. You can pull the plug always, but you can't put it back in. You think it's hopeless but your case wouldn't hold in court. You're not even off the drug completely and haven't given enough time to heal. Come on I know you still have that much fight in you. I would tell you to stop reading and obsessing that forum but I know fat chance. We're here you can talk about whatever, we're not leaving.

[Iggy131313]

thanks huys, Im still holding on, but I cant move from the pgad forum, all i can do is read and read about it, I try telling ,yself I dont have it but thats doesnt work, I know it got so so much worse once I had read about it, all my anxiety and fear is now concentrated onto this, I dont care about anything else, just this, I think that if there was a clear treatment and cure then perhaps I would be ok, I honestly dont know if I have it or if its an ocd thing, but the feeling are real.

I look back in my journal and see that I had the burning around my pelvis starting just a few weeks before I read about this condition, so I know that wasnt psychsomatic.

I will hold on for a while, Im not going to kill myself yet so dont worry about that people, I have been in touch with an endocrinologist in manchester to ask a few questions, it seems to me that with this pgad there are a few causes, some poeple have tarlov cysts in their spine and are having successful treatment, the others (like me) are the ones whwo have it from an ssri, and it seems the cause is low prolactin, of which its impossibble to reproduce, one girl had her symptoms go away totally during pregnancy and then come back after, prooving the prolactin thing.

Im lost out in the wilderness here, stuck in an OCD thing for sure, and I have no idea how to break free or find some kind of resolution. am I causing this? is it real? is it frever? is there a treatment? could it go away? there has to be something I can do.

one thing is certain, the burning happened first, and continues to happen, and has spred from my pelvis now to the genital area, this is a symptom of pgad.

im scared so scared, more than I ever have been before, this is my lowest point right now.

yesterday was 1 year to the day that all this started, so i begin my second year of hell, but now things have changed, I am no longer in the ''theres hope'' categorie and have entered into permenant and progressive.

death is starting to scare me, most likely because its become more real than it has been before, but im going to try, try to hold on, im trying to tell myself that I may feel different about the condition when my withdrawal has passed, maybe I will be strong enough to cope, but I dont think so, so many women have ended their lifes becasue of this, and I fear I will become another sad statistic, god help me.

[alex]

IGGY!! Maybe I am not your favorite member in this forum but I do care for you A LOT! And I am so happy to hear from you today.
OCD....!! Yes! yes! that's what it is! your rational mind is trying to make you see the real situation, and not the distorted one from w/d...
You are NOT alone in your fears, I am very scared too! I just try to look for the positives, (its Hard, I know) or at least, NOT to look for the negative stuff, because is like adding gasoline to the fire...(sorry for my English)

This is good that you are starting to realize that your neuro-fear is behind your worst toughts.

My spirit is with you.

[mona]

I think I hear the old Caroline trying to make a comeback. I agree with Alex, this is likely just those evil neuro-fears trying to control your brain, but you are smarter than that...much smarter. Your rational mind will win in the end. I've yet to look at the site as I just can't take any more fear but I choose to believe that this is just anotherw/d brain sh*tstorm that will die down over time.

xxxsally

[Sheila]

Caroline -- Wow, you’re doing great! You have some insight, and bit more flexibility in your thinking – you know you are obsessing, and you can imagine more alternative realities than just the one.

I’m so sorry you have to go through this hell. While you’re sitting on the PGAD forum, try to breathe into your belly and drink lots of water and massage your neck.

[Sheila]

Super posts, everyone! Great ideas! Great affection! I am so impressed.