really need advice about this

[Iggy131313]

tjis is driving me to suicidal thoughts, Im convinced I have it, the thing is, none of the women are in a severe withdrawal, so is it possible that I could have the symptoms of pgad but no the actual condition, like It could be a temporary issue that could resolve? I know that they say on the forums its not possible to resolve but as none of them are in a severe withdrawal it may not be quite the same thing?

im trying to protect myself but the more I try to not think about it the more I think about it, how do i stop this? I need some resolution to it, or to hear that someone has recovered from this so i can reassure myself but thats not going to happen, and the only reports I have is, no, it does not resolve and in fact gets worse with time, i dont even feel I fit in on the withdrawal forums now becasue I have this other terrible condition. I feel alone and ashamed.

suicidal planning has gone through the roof also, I begin to see it is a necessity and a certainty now rather than a desperate need for relief. god help me

[Iggy131313]

I know I have bad nerve damage to this area, it occured to me last night that the buring I have been recently getting has been in the pelvic area, these types of nerves do not regenerate, they are not periferal nerves that can regenerate, I know this from my mylin fest.

the only comfort I have now is hat I will now be able to kill myself, I dont want to die but I wont live in agony and terror and almightly discomfort all my life, this is progressive and I know for sure I have it, no doubt, simply no doubt, no cure, no spontanious recovery, severe nerve damage permanent and progressive, no cure, no treatment, no relief, no hope.

[stan]

after understanding what PGAD is, i read testimonies people having different kind of sexual problems, some stay long, some improve, it seems be as anhedonia who takes much time to heal; i seem not have these problems but prostate problems, this is a little different;
i would say after reading your posts that it is in your head, you seem obsessing, and even if you not read about withdrawal, your mind will find to obsess about a thing; you need to be busy with obsessing actually; can we not obsess? i do not know, where you obsessing before meds?
some point of view: as long as you are busy with obsessing on a thing that you do not have, maybe you are secure;
are you able to not be in obsess mode? not sure,
you have to know you are obsessing for little things you not have, and time will make the rest;
is it as ruminations and OCD? this several people have it, even on this forum, it is withdrawal because they say they do not have it before meds, and it follows the wave patterns

[hermi]

The mind in in w/d is weird I find. From what I have read of your posts you seem to be very focused on your w/d symptoms generally...and I'm sure obsessing will also eventually get better. I find the more I think about something the worse it feels. I'm also sure if I think about something long enough then suddenly I have that symptom! The other thing I have found is that when I do develop a 'new' symptom I suddenly find myself thinking of the worst case scenario. For example, when I had palpitations and heaviness in my chest I thought I was having a heart attack. I realised that was the anxiety talking.
I have to physically tell myself out loud that what is happening is temporary and will get better. This way I convince myself that I can go on. Its on very bad days when I want to do nothing more than curl up in a dark corner and die that I force myself to get up and live life. I'm not a naturally motivated person, its only since the w/d and the bad times that I have realised how lucky I was to be healthy before all this started, and how much time I have wasted doing not a lot with my life. This gives me the motivation I need now.

Remember what I said Iggy NEVER give up! xx

[mona]

I don't believe that you actually have this condition but even if you did it is likely to resolve itself in time just as she's did. You must force your mind away from this track whatever it takes. Distract yourself until this obcession passes because thinking this way can harm your recovery. You have been improving, you will continue to improve. Keep telling yourself that. If you search the internet you'll find infinate ailments that you might have. You're saired, I'm scaired, we're all scaired. No use looking for new fears, we've already got enough.

xxxsally

[Iggy131313]

cant stop, Im pbssesed and 100% that I have this condition, and it gets worse and worse, i cant even console myself that it will go away one day, i cant even talk about this to my husband becasue I know deep down that this is the end of the line, thankyou to everyone who has tried to help me and have helped me over the past year, but I dont even belong here anymore, my case is now complicated beyond belief, I have a lifelong progressive condition, why me? havent I suffered enough? if shea replied to me about this and it was similar then maybe, but there are NO cases of this ever resolving, just getting worse and people trying to learn to live with it.

I have no desire to learn to live with this torment, I do have it, I know I do. yes I have become obsessed with it but i think the reason the thread scared me so much was becasue i related to it, and knew this was something I had also.

thanks everyone, I love you all, Im not going to kill myself anyday soon, but it is now the only escape i could have. and will happen at some point over the next year I should think

[shel]

I don't believe that you actually have this condition but even if you did it is likely to resolve itself in time just as she's did. You must force your mind away from this track whatever it takes. Distract yourself until this obcession passes because thinking this way can harm your recovery. You have been improving, you will continue to improve. Keep telling yourself that. If you search the internet you'll find infinate ailments that you might have. You're saired, I'm scaired, we're all scaired. No use looking for new fears, we've already got enough.

xxxsally

Please listen to Sally, Iggy. You don't have this ailment and you are causing yourself unnecessary grief. Please believe us, Iggy. You are talking about ending your life over something you don't even have. Is there anyway you can stay away from the computer for awhile? This might help you stop thinking about this whole thing and re-focus on the present. You were doing really well the last couple of days prior to reading about this condition. We all care for you very much and want the best for you.

[Iggy131313]

I do have it, I do have shel, I know I do, i can feel it happening to me and theres no cure, I could even cope better with withdrawal becasue of the hope I had, but now I feel like all hope is gone, I have been searching and searching for someone who has recovered from this and I cant find one person, it just gets worse, thats whats going to happen to me, I dont want to die and Im not even crying out for help.

I want it to be true that I dont have it, but I know in my heart that I do, I have the symptoms, I contacted the woman who runs the support group to see if there is a chance that I dont have it, she replied and said that she started just as I described and within months it was unbearable and every second of everyday...thats whats going to happen to me, with no hope, I want to be paralised from the waist down, if I could do that I would feel better, but you cant, I watched a video of a woman who killed herself after the video went public, after suffering terribly for 16 years, unable to live any kind of life.

I have spoken to several people and no one has recovered, one girl I spoke to got this at 29 she has had it for 7 years, she said it has become a little more tame over those years, but every few months will flare up to unbearable for weeks on end, it happened to her when she came off lexapro.

I started taking the fish oil again today in the hope it could help, but I know nothing will.

Im back to planning suicide, reseaching al that again, but this time, its different, this time I dont WANT to die, I want to live, but I will not put myself through that, honestly yes it may hurt so many, but at what point do you say, how much do I have to suffer, if there was hope it would resolve then maybe I could try, but progressive, not fair, its not suicide it would be euthinasia, Im disgusted that you dont have a right to die in this country, I should be able to die peacefully and with dignity, not in a woods taking an overdose, it scares me, and I think of my baby asking for me, I think of him crying that he wont have a mummy anymore, but what about me? what about me? am I expected to suffer torment every second of everyday, i need peace, I need to sleep and never wake up

Im sorry, I know no one can do anything about this, and I also know that no matter how many times someone says I odnt have it, that I do have it, I dont want to have it.

honestly if this wasnt happening I would be doing great, but Im not becasue of this, I am hardly having any other symptoms, so to those who are scared, dont worry it will get better, but I have this awful condition now, so as long as you dont get that, then you will most likely recover, the past few days have been fine apart from this and being constantly anxiety ridden and suicidal about it.

[Iggy131313]

I have contacted the dr who wrote this as he is in london

GENITAL DISORDER MAY BE AS COMMON AS 1 IN A 100
Dr David Goldmeier, an expert on sexual medicine at Imperial College in London said: 'Persistent genital arousal disorder is a newly recognised condition, where the sufferer complains of long periods of genital arousal that are not associated with sexual desire.

'PGAD sufferers experience intrusive, unsolicited and spontaneous genital arousal that can be unrelenting. This arousal can persist for hours, days or even longer.
'This can be highly distressing for a woman and despite attempts to relieve it with sexual activity or orgasm, this often doesn't help or can worsen the symptoms.
'Tarlov cysts are small jelly like cysts that form around the sacral area of the spine. They are a common finding in normal people. One current research paper suggests that a lot of women who have PGAD have Tarlov cysts, but this is contentious.

'There is very little research into Tarlov cysts and PGAD. But due to the relatively high occurrence of Tarlov cysts currently observed in women who suffer from PGAD symptoms, it would seem advisable to suspect Tarlov cysts as a possible underlying factor in the cause of PGAD.#

'Tarlov cysts can cause problems with the pelvic nerves and are reported to produce genital symptoms that bear similarities to those described for PGAD.
'Spontaneous genital arousal is quite common but it's those women who can't control the arousal which is uncommon.
'I see around 20 women a year with this condition, it may be as common as one in 100 we just don't know.
'Sometimes it may resolve on its own, there is no cure but there are a number of ways to manage the symptoms such as meditation and pelvic floor exercises along with pain medication for the patient.'

[Iggy131313]

Stan, yes I alwasy had a tendency to obsess about things, but not to this degree, but if I had developed these symptoms before withdrawal I would ahve been just as obsessed, and suicidal