really need advice about this

[Iggy131313]

ok, so I saw a thread on SA about PGAD, Its a permanent condition and even a progressive one that is ofetn caused by SSRIs...since reading it I have become sure that I HAVE developed it, and If I have then I WILL kill myself, as many many other women have.

the thing is, I didnt have it before I read the thread, but is that because it drew my attantion to it, or becasue its scared me so much and I have become so obssessed with it that I am getting a somatic response to it, I mean Im so focused all the time on ''am I having any sensations down there'' that Im totally always thinking about it, I dont know, I hnestly dont know if I haev it or not.

I have tried thinking about my hand and thinking, if you get a weird sensation in your hand then its definitly permemant and yes I do start to get a sensation in my hand, but I dont know, Im really scared, so scared its unbelieveable, this would be a deal breaker for me, and Im not making idol threats, I will not live like that, I cannot.

I cant think of anything else, I try to distract myself from thinking about it but I cant, I have tried so many things to stop thining about it and I just CANT. I need some advice on how to deal with it, and find out if I have it or not, from the descriptions I haev read the sensations are always accompanied by an urge to urinate, i dont have that, but I dont know if the rest is psychsomatic or not.

If I knew I didnt have this I would be doing alot better than I amat the oment, Im having constant panic attacks about it and thinking about my privates all the time, surely if Im constantly focused on that srea of my body then Im bound to feel things there? right?

please help me with this, im embarresesd to talk about it but I cant keep it to myself anymore

[Iggy131313]

also I keep trying to say to myself, right, what is a worse feeling, whatever mild sensations I am having ''down there' or the anxiety about it, and its always the anxiety about it, but the more I think about it the more I feel these sensations, oh god, now Im so wrapped up thinking I have this permemnant condition that is in fact progressive, I have read so many accounts of people this, they have had it for 14, 15, 20 years and it never gets any better, they are tortured and desperate, many many people have ended thier lifes becasue they cannot live with the torture anymore. I dont stop thinking about it for 1 second every day, I dont even speak to anyone, I cant tear my mind away from this subject

I know no one can tell me if I have it or not, I was going to join a support group but i have scared myself so much with the groups I have already read that I dont think I could take anymore, maybe I need to stop looking at anything to do with it, but i cant stop myself

[Iggy131313]

oh god, I just had an email from the woman who runs a support site for this where I asked if it had ever resolbed for anyone, she said that in the 14 years she has been campaigning and running the groups she has never seen anyone have it resolve or even made any better....well thats just great

[stan]

what is PGAD? permanent generalized anxiety disorder? what site?

[mona]

Sweetie you are obsessing. Step away from the computer. Of course I shouldn't comment as have been numb down there for years because of paxil. Just part of the lovely package.

[theelt712]

Is this the same as PTSD?

EDIT: Nevermind, it's Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder. Very strange, haven't really heard of it before....hmmm. I know that it will probably get better as time goes on. Your description does not sound like PGAD though.

[shel]

Sweetie you are obsessing. Step away from the computer. Of course I shouldn't comment as have been numb down there for years because of paxil. Just part of the lovely package.

I think Mona is right as you said in your first post that you did not have this before you read about it. I think now that you've become aware of this condition, you are now convincing yourself you have it - I think this is because of the anxiety you are experiencing from WD as it can convince us of so many things that are not true. I would stop reading about this condition - you don't have it and don't need to worry anymore about it.

[Iggy131313]

I want that to be the case, I need to stop reading about it, I know the saying energy flows where the mind goes....and I think to myself, all the women on this forum had this symptom and were googling it etc, I wasnt, until I read about it. but then I worry that its reading about it that has made me realise I am having it///but then I think, but Im so aware of everything in my body I would have noticed before....

thanks shel and mona, and everyone

[Sheila]

This is definitely neuro-hypochondria, my friend.

If you think about your genitals, you will definitely start to feel sensation there.

It sounds like PGAD is another syndrome that may have many causes, but is probably increasing in incidence because of SSRIs. They should seriously do a trial of high-dose Omega-3 for it, since it is neurological damage.

There have been many people post-SSRIs with hyperactive or shut-down genitals, and they recovered.

Anyway, Caroline, this is just the latest version of your neuro-belief that you are doomed to permanent suffering. Your brain can’t help having this bias right now, and perseverating on it. But try to take care of yourself the way you would keep a child away from the stove.

[Junior]

The non-SSRI affected people would call this "medical strudents disease". If you didn't have it before reading about it, then you don't have it now. Please try to reassure yourself. I know it's hard with your w/d addled brain but please try.