Want to get off meds but struggling

[stan]

Rosebud,
St Johns Wort is a kind of antidepressant, maybe good as alternative for antidepressant, but not good to substitute;
but i have read a few testimonies who made it and recovered well; so!!! who has the answer

[Moui]

We're scared here with you lol. You might even start feeling better as you go lower. For two reasons, less citalopram in system in case it's aggravating you + stabilizing from the changes. It often seems that the ct attempts, drug switches and reinstatements throw the body and brain into a chaos for a while.

[Sheila]

Yay! You know of Anita Moorjani! She’s pretty much my favorite. Have you watched any of the many videos out there of her? She’s very restful to me. Yes, as I’ve said before, this w/d ordeal is like a slo-mo NDE. You get a lot of the same insights, benefits, challenges. It’s definitely an awakening.

Good for you for getting the liquid Citalopram. I really understand your concern about possibly still being in Zoloft w/d. It is hard to know. You could just approach this as an experiment. You can go down a bit on the Citalopram and see what happens. Going down any amount is good for your body – along the lines of what Moui said. Then, you can just stay at that new lower amount for awhile if you need to. You don’t *have* to keep tapering.

How heavy is your menstrual flow? Is it lightening at all?

So, you didn’t have the dry heaves / vomiting before three weeks ago? But you have had no appetite for a long time? Is that right?

[shel]

Your message was funny, Moui. I don't want anyone else to feel scared but it does help to feel less alone. :) I like the positivity in your message - maybe I will feel better as I go lower. I am basing my fears on my previous attempts to taper but maybe this experience will be different. I should keep an open mind about it - thank you for reminding me of this. How have you been feeling?

[shel]

Your posts always comfort me, Sheila - much as Anita Moorjani does for you! I haven't had a chance to view any of her videos yet but I am excited to explore those as I have a feeling she is one of my favorites too. I really like your perspective on the withdrawal experience - you almost make it sound appealing in the way it sounds like you have grown from all of this (and that perhaps we can too).

I like your idea of approaching the taper as an experiment. It is true I don't have to keep tapering if it isn't working. I just SOwant to get off of these medications for good that I hope ultimately it is an experiment that can work. I think one thing that is scaring me too is that I am also on Klonopin and don't feel I can attempt to taper that until I am done with Celexa - but if that takes years than I will have been on a benzo for years too and who knows when I'll be able to taper that. I know I need to take one step and a time but have to be honest about where my brain is at with all of this.

To answer your question regarding menstrual flow - it was moderate and then slowing down but just today my "real" period came back (meaning when I would normally have started again) so it is now on the moderate to heavier side per normal. I so hope this will just be now my normal period and then STOP. We'll see......

Regarding the dry heaves/vomiting - I don't remember having this before three weeks ago. I mean I have experienced it before during bad withdrawal episodes in the past but during this more recent period I believe it started three weeks ago. But, yes, my appetite has not been good now since end of March/beginning of April. I force myself to eat but don't really have much desire most of the time. I have lost a lot of weight which scares me as I had some that I could lose but now I really don't need to lose any more. I am not sure what to do about this though aside from eating as much as I can. Any thoughts about this? Did you have this problem during withdrawal?

[amani]

sorry Shel that you had such bad experiences with tapering before, and you are having bad symptoms even now before starting tapering again...i know that feeling, feeling like you are stuck in a bad place and you are worried that whatever you do is going to make you worse... but things seem to always get better, it takes time, but somehow things get better...

in your earlier zoloft tapering experiences, did you have WD symptoms as soon as you started tapering or only when you got to a low dose? how long you were holding before decreasing the dose again? maybe hold for much longer time this time... when i start tapering again from the 5mg zoloft i am currently on, i am planning to do it very slowly, like hold for months before going lower on the dose...

i really hope that you will feel better soon and that you find some hope that things will get better....

[mona]

How lovely that you're going to Alaska. I took one of those cruises many years ago and it was lovely. Since you are in a fragile mental state this is likely the best way to travel. No real decisions to make and your own space toretreat to when things get rough. Only drawback is you won't be able to enjoy all that incredible food. hopefully your gut will give you a break and with so many choices there will always be something you can get down.

xxxsally

[shel]

Thank for your message, Amani. I did ok with my Zoloft taper until I would hit around 40 mg or less. This would go badly whenever I experienced something very stressful - my body would go into major panic mode. I usually could updose and that would help but this last time updosing didn't seem to do anything (hence my switch to Celexa). With my last prior attempt to taper Zoloft taper, I made 5% cuts below 50 mg and would hold for at least 4 weeks, sometimes longer. You describe well my fear - that with already having bad symptoms that I will only make it worse by reducing. But my hope is that with tiny cuts this will be minimized.

Thank you very much for your encouragement and support - it really helps! I think your plan is a good one for when you are ready to taper to go slowly with long waits in between.

I hope you too feel better soon, Amani.

Michele



i really hope that you will feel better soon and that you find some hope that things will get better....[/QUOTE]

[shel]

Great to hear from you, Mona. I am glad to hear you enjoyed the Alaska cruise! I am really disappointed as when I made these plans I was feeling well and it sounded like such a great adventure. However, it does seem like you are right - at least this is the best scenario for traveling when feeling so not well; at least I don't have to figure much out and can hide away when I need to. You are so right - I am really disappointed about the food thing but hopefully I'll be able to enjoy something. I don't know what is causing my appetite problems - it must be anxiety/depression. It is just awful. How is your appetite these days?

[shel]

oops - I meant to write Sally, not Mona in my message to you. Sorry about that - I guess I can blame it on WD! :)