theelt712's Zoloft Madness

[theelt712]

From my forum, one of my last updates here:

"I am obsessed with my breathing. It's been like this before meds, and in fact, led me to take meds. It got worse on meds, though....right now, I can barely hear myself breathing [odd for me], it is slower than usual, and feels like it could stop, even though it does not. Is this what normal breathing feels like? It's almost like normal. No tightness in chest or anything. No odd sensations. Nothing. It's very odd, and it's like I have to force myself to breathe. Yet again, I forget what automatic breathing is like. "

[theelt712]

If you're reading this.....hi. I'm Epiphany. I'm still around....on this forum.

http://ssriandbenzowdhelp.freeforums.net/

Love and Healing,
Epiphany. <3

[alex]

Hi Epiphany, it is ANXIETY.
Don't put too much attention to it.

[theelt712]

I'm trying not to but it's hard when it is almost always there. And the ever so torturous anhedonia. I hate it so much. I just wish it would go away. I do not see the color in much of anything. I know it's been only 2 months and 5 days off but I just can not see myself out of this. I keep trying to do stuff but ultimately, time may be my greatest factor.

Also, my forum is having server issues at the moment and proBoard technicians are trying to fix it. -_- <---- this is me.

[theelt712]

I don't want to see this place go :(

[Sheila]

OK, Epiphany, so this breathing difficulty is an issue for you pre-meds, and it’s exacerbated by w/d. A lot of people go through a period in w/d when they feel like they have to consciously breathe. And, of course, you know that anxiety about breathing is very common in non-w/d anxiety.

So, first of all, you will definitely be able to breathe sufficiently. You don’t have to worry about that. But, then, you seem like an excellent candidate for all the many kinds of breathing exercises there are out there. I, myself, have become a much better breather due to going through w/d. I remember to breathe deeply much more often than I used to.

One tip – in your research, you will find many contradictory breathing exercises. Focus on inhale; no -- focus on exhale. Breathe as slow as you can; no -- breath naturally. So, just experiment and pick the ones that work for you!

[theelt712]

Thank you! My therapist actually helped me with a couple of breathing exercises, and sometimes they work, sometimes they do not. :( I also sometimes have a lot of heaviness and pulsing in my left arm, it freaks me out and makes me fear cardiac problems, although EKG has been normal.

[theelt712]

Last update. Here's some stats:

Anhedonia: Terrible, and I have a feeling that this will be the last to go. About 10% improved.
DP: I get really bad waves of this ,but they are less frequent. 45% improved.
Insomnia: Again, I get bad waves of this. Around 50% improved.
Anxiety: It really depends. Health anxiety is terrible. I can sit on a bus without freaking out and I can tolerate some caffeine. 30% improved.
Memory: I have some bad short term memory loss but not as bad as before. 20% improved.

This is in 2 months. I hope I will be fully improved a year from now.

-theelt712-