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Thread: 18 month mark...nightmare not over!!!!!!

  1. #1
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    18 month mark...nightmare not over!!!!!!

    So here I am, at the 18 month mark.....quit Paroxetine ct after 7 years of use. The last couple of years that I was on Paroxetine I was at 40mgs. I have had many ups and downs. Feel ok one day (can function normally) and then the next day I think that I am going to die. I hate this feeling. My husband said to me the other day that I am not the happy go lucky person that I used to be. I hate these feelings.......I want it all to end. I keep hearing that the 18th month mark is nearing towards the end of the nightmare, although I think my nightmare is not over. I still get burning skin sensations, sharp pains in my head ( i guess these could be considered brain zaps), tingling sensations throughout my body, sharp pains in my body, have brain fog, feel like my eyes can't focus. Those are a majority of the symptoms that I am feeling right now.....I am not sure that I can contiue this.....I am not threatening my life in anyway....I just don't know if I can live the rest of my life like this....What can I do????? Need some reassurance....................................... .................................................. .................................................. ..........

  2. #2
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    IG honey, you CTed 40mg which is a big amount to cold turkey, and you are acctually doing very very well, I so know it doesnt feel like it but your doing so good.

    From lts of accounts I have read the real healing can start from 18-24 months, many many people have reported great improvemnts in that timeframe.

    also the fact that you are having such clear windows is a wonderful sign and one that means you WILL heal from this, you will recover. xxxxxx
    Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
    went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
    Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
    Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
    Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
    now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this

  3. #3
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    Thanks Iggy, I hope you are right. I know that I ct'd from a high dose. I was STUPID, did not consult my doctor.....When I told him that I ct'd from the meds he told me to go back on, that was after I had already been 6 months off. He put me back on 40mgs right off the bat, had a bad reaction to the one dose that I took and never took it again......I just hate all these strange sensations in my body. They startle me and I think that this is the end....I am going to die today. Lame, I know.

  4. #4
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    You will definitely be getting better, Irishgal. That's really good you're having those better moments at that point of WD considering your cold turkey status. Remember, every bad wave eventually ends, too. Once you reach the window, you will feel so much better.
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  5. #5
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    Thanks, Luc. I keep reaching for that window, but I can't seem to open it! :)

  6. #6
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by irishgal View Post
    Thanks, Luc. I keep reaching for that window, but I can't seem to open it! :)
    I know, it sometimes feels as if they put padlocks on those. :)
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  7. #7
    Founder stan's Avatar
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    the 18 months mark is often for people who took 2/3/4 years; 7 years and 40 mg is a high dose; with what you describe i see you will need some more months patience, brain fog is something hard to live, i have periods with this; the good thing is you experience good days; our perceptions are false,
    12 years paxil(9 years only 10 mg) - cold turkey(1,5 month) and switch celexa tapered 1 year 20 mg
    62 years old - for GAD - 4 years 3 months meds free [since april 2009]

    vegetables soup - orange (vit C) - curcuma - some meat or fish

  8. #8
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    What Iggy said in post #2!

    The fact that you can have nearly normal days is a very good sign. This is the nature of neurological healing, no matter what the cause – very non-linear, but slowly getting better overall.
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  9. #9
    Member bruno2006's Avatar
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    you are right behind me both in time off and time being on. I was on about 7 1/2 years and went off in one week and am around 20 months off. Sometimes i feel as though I have improved a lot, and then sometimes I feel like I am getting worse bc of symptoms like cognitive problems. All in all I think I am improving and you probably are as well.
    2004: Effexor-150mg
    2006: switch to paxil-up to 40mg
    2008: after paxil taper failed, went back on effexor-250mg
    2009: quit effexor cold turkey. Switched to zoloft-100mg
    2010: zoloft taper failed, switched to celexa-30mg
    October 2011: tapered celexa in one week

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