In need of support

[Moui]

[insert a really wise, profoundly thoughtful and supporting comment]

Sorry.. running low ... I should copy paste something from timinjapan.
Hey all things considered I think it sounds like you're juggling those balls pretty well. You probably know all about sleep hygiene/ sleep restriction therapy already.. I personally found some help from that in wd but I don't know.

Do we get to preview your book? I haven't read books in ages.. it would do good to train my attention span with something longer than forum posts, random articles/studies or instruction manuals.

[Junior]

Thanks for your kind thoughts Moui - it's not the words, it's the intent behind them that counts :)

Yeah I'm one pretty tough lady. I think the reason I've coped so well in recent months is because this is NOT the hardest thing I've ever gone through. Compared to the subject matter of my book - this is strictly physiological and therefore easier to make sense of. Mind you, I haven't had much of the mood swings and psychological stuff that I see many others going through. I'd also learned to live with GAD and accept my body playing tricks on me many years ago so I guess I just automatically apply many of my coping strategies.

I increased my dose of the thryoid supplement my naturopath gave me. I'd forgotten she'd said to do that. When I first went on it, and after a couple of days, I was sleeping like a baby. Fingers crossed the same happens again.

[Junior]

Do we get to preview your book? I haven't read books in ages.. it would do good to train my attention span with something longer than forum posts, random articles/studies or instruction manuals.

There is a thread somewhere in the 'start ups' section but I haven't updated it for ages. It's morning here (all of 2 degrees, celsius - brrrr) so I'll do it a bit later today.

Briefly, I am infertile and endured 7 unsuccessful attempts at IVF - which tore me apart. I'd always wanted to be married and have children. Nothing is more important to me than family. I did manage to have a son - conceived and born naturally although it took two years - but he is not quite what I planned. He has autism, intellectual disability and [genuine, trust me!] ADHD. I love him dearly and would be lost without him.

The book is my journey through the process, the sleepless nights, the anger, the desperation, intense and complex grief, and how, with therapy, I eventually put my fragmented self back together and moved on. By far the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I found peace but my sorrow will always be there.

[Moui]

I know your background and as a male, and someone who has never so far in my short life had any wish to have kids I know it's nothing I can personally relate to but I'm a curious creature and no good stories are without struggle.

In a way you're now in labour pains of that book worried how it will turn out...

Hope that thyroid thing helps.

[alex]

I have one question for you Junior, did you have sleeping issues before w/d?

[Junior]

Alex - no. Only when going through something profoundly psychologically distressing - like certain periods during my journey through infertility.

[Junior]

I know your background and as a male, and someone who has never so far in my short life had any wish to have kids I know it's nothing I can personally relate to but I'm a curious creature and no good stories are without struggle.

In a way you're now in labour pains of that book worried how it will turn out...

Hope that thyroid thing helps.

Yes I think it's different for a male. My husband didn't go through anywhere near the level of torment I did. But then, as I said, my whole identity was bound up in motherhood. From as young as 5 years old I used to tell my mother that I was going to have five children! I did revise that when I got older ....lol. two would have been plenty :D

I have wondered whether the editing process is part of my current insomnia - but I really can't put it down to that. Just writing it, in the first place (a few years ago) was cathartic. And in some ways, working back over it with the help of my editor has helped me to understand why it was so profound for me. Especially the difficult process of writing the last chapter that I was working on recently - at her urging. I wrote it through the lens of grief - not the straight narrative. It took 4 weeks and I ended up with 4000 words. It was like writing an essay!! I actually found it really interesting because I've been studying Grief and Loss Counselling and with my knowledge of grief theory I have gained a better understanding of why I felt the way I did. So no, I don't think it's the reason for my current insomnia. If anything it is having a healing effect.

I do think my poor, challenged, nervous system has become more sensitive than it has ever been - thanks to the past few months. Anything such as thyroid issues is probably only adding to it. I don't know anymore. I do know that I've got a wonderful holiday coming up in a few weeks. For an Aussie it's a long trip but we are heading to Alaska for a cruise on the inside passage and Canada for a few days in the rockies. I'm sure I will be a lot better afterward. I just need to get through the next 7 weeks and 2 days :-p

[Junior]

Copied this from my journal over at PP. Thought some of you might like to know.


Ok so I today I saw my wonderful, wonderful naturopath.

She confirmed that I'm not converting T4 into T3, says my TSH - while 'they' say it is within the normal range - should really be up @2.00 rather than 1.07. Also that my T4 should really be 17 rather than 14.

She wants reverse T3 tested and as I am willing to pay the $60 is able to order it herself. I am also paying to get the TSH, T3 and T4 redone. She wants them all done together.

We've changed my supplement regime a little and significantly, have added a higher dose of melatonin than I was taking. She says she finds that a course of melatonin, which can be withdrawn once I regain my sleep pattern, won't affect my thyroid. I think she means that a single course, rather than long-term treatment, won't down-regulate whatever it down-regulates.

The bottle says 300mcg.

I asked about Wilson's Syndrome and she nodded and said "yep, yep, yep". I wondered how much is w/d related and she nodded emphatically and said, " a LOT of it." We even talked again (as we have in the past) about difficult dose ranges and agreed that I am in one of them. 1mg to get free of it. Can't wait! If I ever get there that is ...

I see her again in 3 weeks.


Oh and it takes about 3 months for the herbal supplements to really kick in.

[theelt712]

Have you been trying Melatonin? I've used that pre-Med and whenever I did, I'd get 10-12 hours of straight through sleep.

[Sheila]

So glad you’re getting good help, Junior.