Mona's desperate journey

[Iggy131313]

I think that once you have some level of improvement it will give you hope for more, and you will indeed recover.

[Iggy131313]

and Mona, you must belive, because if you believ you will not recover then you must also think that I will not.

[stan]

I think that once you have some level of improvement it will give you hope for more, and you will indeed recover.

exactly!...i expirience it regularly

[Moui]

When you said you have to do two things simultaneously is it because of ruminating or obsessing? I'm just curious as when I was in that wd state I could not focus on anything. Back then our band was still together and I tried to go play with them at some point when I felt better but I just couldn't as my mind kept going about other stuff. Once I remember I was talking with my friend and I could not hear him. I mean I heard but my own thoughts were drowning what he was saying.. I couldn't read a simple instruction manual. Well I could but it took a huge effort.. couldn't follow movie plots for the first 6 months.
I don't know if this is what you're experiencing.. one of my favourite activities then was ipod audiotapes+cleaning. Or ipod+cooking. Stand up comedy bits sort of became a thing as my attention span could handle that. Had to keep both my body and the thought diarrhea distracted.

Keep on keeping on..

[Iggy131313]

for me, and I ssume its the same for sally, its not just runinating thoughts it trying to distract from the symptoms, physical, mental, all of it, its not possible to sit and watch tv as that requires some level of relaxation which is immpossible, so by multitasking your brain is so distracted that it becomes possible but still very painful to let time pass.

I love a good audiobook, but I find it very tough to listen to them now, before all this shizzle I was the ipod queen, always had an audiobook going, usually harry potter or something simple like that so I cold wash up, clean, garden and not lose track of the story...

but regarding conversations, say today when my symptoms have been cutting me a little slack I have been able to talk about things, real life things, Freddies outfit for the wedding, school, the weather (always a favorite conversation in England, land of light drizzle) but when I have symptoms, all Im interested in talking about is how I feel, somehow it helps, but I become pretty tiresome, Im sick of myself going on about it, you guys must be sick of me going on about it, and my family and friends most certainly are

[mona]

Yes, that's a good explanation of what's going on with me. Focus on any one thing is very difficult. My husband talks to me and I say unhuh and have no idea what he said. I do listen to books on tape when I am walking but onlu take in about half the words. My fingers won't work today to type.

[Luc]

If it brings you relief, do as much multitasking as it gets, Mona. This "multi-tasking" is very very common in WD. But it helps to pull through the worst.

[mona]

Moving well into my 13th month off paxil and today I feel so sick, so sad, so exhausted. I don't see anything positive left for me even if, by some miracle I should recover. My marriage is dead, I've abandoned all my remaining friends, I can't even remember anything that interested me. Life has moved on and I'm left behind sitting day after day in my recliner because I'm unable to interact with other people. Will five more months make a difference? I can't imagine how. It's all horrible horrible horrible!!!!!!!

[alex]

Mona, I was exactly like you just a few months ago: unable to read a newspaper, or watch a movie; not able to interact with people...and now it's coming back, slowly but it's coming back.
My anxiety and anhedonia are slowly abating.I can see important improvement in that area.
The only symptom that persists very badly is insomnia; as Sheila wisely says is my cross to bear.
I've said before: my condition has shifted from terrifyng, to very difficult, and now, difficult.

This is without a doubt one of the toughest things I've been through in my life;and my life has been a difficult one.
I really hope that once I (we) come out from this ordeal, we'll be stronger,wiser, better people.

Hang in there, it gets better, believe me.

[Luc]

Mona, this is extremely difficult, but your body is doing self-repair every single day. WD is totally counter-intuitive - I can hardly think of any other condition in which the worsening of symptoms in such a bizarre cyclical wavery fashion is, in fact, a paradoxical sign of healing.

Remember, your body has already made great strides. It's that it just may not feel that way yet. But it will. Every single person improves. Every single one. We are all under the same laws of the universe. No one is an exception. Our bodies are programmed towards self-healing from the get-go.
You will heal from it.