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Thread: Mona's desperate journey

  1. #11
    Member RubyTuesday's Avatar
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    Hi Mona, so sorry you are feeling so bad. Have you tried meditating outside? or just sitting outside? sometimes I cannot do the type of meditation that involves sitting still and concentrating, because sometimes I am trembling too much, but at those times a more mindfulness approach can work, that is, just observing myself, my sensations, etc. especially sitting outside just observing the wind in the trees or whatever. Or even drawing, because that really calms me as I have to focus on an object in order to draw it. But I haven't done that in awhile. Or like today I put a foam pad on my porch and just laid down and looked up into a tree for an hour. Anyway hang in there, even this will pass.
    Prozac/Birth Control 9 years. Pot 6/09 to 3/11. Female Problems. Short trials: Paxil, Celexa, Lexipro, Wellbutrin, Xanax, Ativan. CURRENTLY Lamictal from 10/11. Seroquel from 12/11. Remiron from 12/11: 15-30-45-30-15-to 7.5 7/2012, to 3.75 4/1/13. 5/18 3.75/2. Diagnosis Now: Complex PTSD. Regular Acupuncture/EMDR/therapy/yoga class. PERFECT RESIGNATION GIVES THE DEEPEST JOY OF ALL. ACCEPT IT AS YOUR SOLE RESOURCE. -ANANADAMAYI MA
    The Inner Light - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4n8DQknrOOc

  2. #12
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    Hi, Mona. Welcome to IAWP! You'll be improving, that's beyond any doubt. This experience is excrutiating, but the healing will be taking place. Step by step. You do all you can to get better. Yes, taking Omega-3 is a great idea. You could try steadily up the current dose. Also, if you can tolerate the physical exercises, it's all ok. Just be careful to not overdo them - our bodies are ultra-sensitive to all types of stimulation, and it doesn't take much to throw them off of balance and worsen the symptoms. Just strive for the Middle Ground. If it gets really bad, do not push yourself to do too much - just wait it out. Hang in there!
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  3. #13
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    Well, you’re doing a lot of good things for yourself. Those look like good supplements. What do you take the zinc for?

    Ruby has a really good idea about thinking in terms of “moving meditation.”

    I’m so sorry about your loss. Losses hit us so much harder in w/d. It’s hard to digest events. But, I find that I sort of do so in slow motion. I also understand your wish to be put out of your misery. That’s very understandable. This is an incredible healing journey.
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  4. #14
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    Hi luc, I still hope for healing but every day is still torment and I can't imagine future years like this. It seems that most people show some improvement after a year but I'm worse that at the beginning of 2013. One of my doctors recommended the zinc, don't remember why. I can't try meditating outside because it's rarely above 65 here and I am always so cold. Even when the house is 70 I shiver. My hands shake and I can't concentrate to do crafts and art like I used to. Mostly I listen to books on tape, watch nonviolent TV and play computer solitare on my kindle. Haven't found any other games that I can keep up with. Am planning to increase the omega 3's as I've been following you guys research. Every day is an eternity.
    10;mg PAXIL 12 YEARS
    C/T June 2012

  5. #15
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    You were in great pain, so you experimented with various meds over the last year. This is very, very understandable. But, you did not tolerate the meds well at all, and they caused a lot of additional chaos. This means you can’t say that you have been in a position to really start healing from the first med until just recently.

    The good news, then, is that you can’t say you are slow to heal. You were inadvertently doing things that complicated your healing. How could you have known? It was completely reasonable to seek relief. But, now that you've decided that route doesn't work for you, *now* you can really start healing, and you may find that you heal faster than you did during that year.
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  6. #16
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    There's no super-fixed rules as to when exactly it usually starts improving, Mona. It all depends on a person. Though it always starts improving. This worsening is temporary. It always is.

    That is very very good you do all you can to try to take your mind off of WD. I'm 100% certain it'll be getting better. The recovery process is so incredibly tricky - waves & windows, the ever changing symptoms. It's difficult to believe it's even a part of the recovery process, but... it is. It really is. In some of our next videos, we will be mentioning brain neuroplasticity and its incredible healing powers. It should help you a lot.
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  7. #17
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    Thank you luc, I know it's still early but it certainly feels like forever. My greatest fear is that my age will make recovery so slow that I won't live to see it.

    Today I had the ultimate brain fart. I filled my hummingbird feeder with vegetable oil. Fortunately I noticed before they got into it. Similar bottle but the color was entirely different. It did seem a bit thick as I was pouring it. lol
    10;mg PAXIL 12 YEARS
    C/T June 2012

  8. #18
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mona View Post
    My greatest fear is that my age will make recovery so slow that I won't live to see it.
    The brain has amazing self-healing capabilities. Your brain is able to recover from very severe traumas and at all ages. This will help you; http://seniorconnectionsnv.com/artic...-matter-to-you

    No worry about these cognitive malfunctions - it's so so common in WD.
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  9. #19
    Founder stan's Avatar
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    dear Mona,

    i think our age is against us, we will need more time than the younger, and even not on psychotropics, at our age, people begin have older problems, so the difference to do is not easy;
    i seemed better with walking, and actually am worse again; i have to wait and hope it is a wave
    12 years paxil(9 years only 10 mg) - cold turkey(1,5 month) and switch celexa tapered 1 year 20 mg
    62 years old - for GAD - 4 years 3 months meds free [since april 2009]

    vegetables soup - orange (vit C) - curcuma - some meat or fish

  10. #20
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    So Stan an Luc, you two seem to cancel each other out. Actually, I know that we're all individual and I see more young people suffering on these sites that older people. Maybe just because younger people are more likely to use the internet.

    Stan, I hope youand I start to see some serious changes soon. You are certainly right about people having problems at our age, but most of us still have functioning brains. I lose at least one friend a year now, almost all to cancer.
    10;mg PAXIL 12 YEARS
    C/T June 2012

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